I’m a bit down, for the usual reasons. It just hit me about a little while ago. I have felt it more in the last few weeks, but I kind of stuffed it inside of me, and with all that I had going on, I had no time to cry…until now.
As hard as I try to be patient, upbeat and enthusiastic to what prayerfully will come my way, not knowing what the future holds, what had already happened to me in the recent past, sends me into a tailspin again. The enemy is trying to make me more depressed. I am fighting it every day, but sometimes it starts to “leak out” and it finally did this afternoon.
**Switching gears for a moment here, but it blends in nicely**—I actually started a new Professional Page on Facebook, using my full name that one day, I hope to legally have. The page is under Jeannette (my adopted name) Elizabeth (my original birth name) Geist (my biological father’s last name = “spirit”) Marcelli (my adopted maiden name). The Page is something that the Lord wanted me to do, so I did it. I would have rather waited until my first book was actually published, but I got that “holy nudge” from Him a few days ago, so I got it done.
I know it is going to be a very “slow go” with people acknowledging and regularly visiting it, but you know what? That’s ok. It is all in God’s timing. My part, as Charles Stanley would say, is “to OBEY God, and leave the consequences to Him.”
I wanted to share today’s Streams in the Desert devotional in this blog post. It definitely hit home hard; another “God Wink”. The verse that was quoted is Isaiah 30:18– “And therefore will the LORD wait, that He may be gracious unto you…blessed are all they that wait for Him.”
For as long as we are waiting upon God, He’s been waiting longer for us; that is, to get things right, to get to the point in our lives where He CAN bless us with whatever it was we’ve been waiting for. Of course the writer sneaks in “it will give us unspeakable confidence that our waiting cannot be in vain.” That was the answer to the question I posed to Him late last week— “Lord, please remind me that all that I have done so far on this Journey, is not in vain”—while praying to the Lord about my ongoing “Season of Waiting”.
How about this part where the writer states, “…that even after I come and wait upon Him, He does NOT give the help I seek, but waits on longer and longer?”
The Lord obviously has way more patience than any of us would have in a thousand lifetimes. He knows not to “gather the fruit till it is ripe”. Whether we wait with expectancy and enthusiasm, or hold on for what seems like an eternity(but is it really?), not wanting it to be a moment longer, nevertheless, the Lord knows how long it needs be.
I end with the writer’s last thoughts on the subject, which encouraged me further: “Be assured that if God waits longer than you could wish, it is only to make the blessing doubly precious. God waited four thousand years, till the fullness of time, ere He sent His Son. Our times are in His Hands; He will avenge His elect speedily. He will make haste for our help, and not delay one hour too long.” —-Andrew Murray
Look at this first picture—that is basically what I have been told today by the Spirit concerning where He’s got me right now—in a “holding pattern”. He says there’s still much to be done, and He’ll be using me and many others to get His Church reformed and revitalized, yet once more my life in the past two weeks has placed me in this state of “limbo” , and I’ve been left wondering if I did something wrong, or if not, why am I not moving forward? I know He hasn’t abandoned me, but sometimes the silence is so deafening. I wish He would just finally let me know what’s going on with my school—whether or not we’re going to be back there or just online; where I’m going to live next, and when “that man” will ever show up in my life. Plus, what about all these languages He’s thrown at me lately to learn—Biblical Greek, Hebrew and even Aramaic?! It’s bad enough I’m majoring in Latin in school right now for the past two years, but I am just now starting to put the pieces of that puzzle together as to “why” He was so insistent on me learning it. Sitting tight and “being still” is NOT my forté, but it is what is expected of me at the moment. But the Lord also puts me in these places of stillness, to speak to me and inform me of things from time to time. This is one of those times and subjects that has been impressed upon my heart that the Holy Spirit has been grieving about more and more lately.
I have the privilege every so often, to “see” with my spiritual eyes, the Lord Jesus “darkly” (1 Cor. 13:12). I had that “vision”, as some may call it, yesterday morning, as He stated to me once again, “TRUST ME”. I said to Him, “I say it every day, Lord, as I pray certain prayers, and as I see it on a picture of You as a constant reminder.” He is working on uniting the Church Body (every sect of Christianity that believes in the Trinity/Godhead), reminding us that we are to be as ONE. Too many splits have been made in the Church, and unfortunately, there is so much infighting within each sect, it is sad and disturbing to Him.
As far as Scriptural integrity goes, there will be more splits, because there are some that no longer adhere to what the word of God states; more within each church sect will fall away (2 Timothy 4:3-4). On a positive note, just within the past two months, I’ve come in contact with many brothers and sisters in the Catholic Church who said that the leaders in the last several years, have made it their task to make sure the laypeople are learning more Scripture in Church, and told to read and study God’s Word at home, and within home and prayer groups. I’ve been amazed at how much the Holy Spirit has really burst open the Church doors, and rained down His Holy Fire on them.
I’ve prayed for such a revival over 35 years ago while in the Church, but none would hear of it then; they thought me mad for saying I was “born again” as a Catholic. They said it was ok to read my Bible but it wasn’t really impressed upon us to do so. I asked too many questions that they no longer wanted to answer, and felt like they didn’t need to. Even though I was very involved in the Church, I was no longer made welcome back then, so I left. That is not what the Lord wanted to have happen to me, so He reassured me that it would not stay like that. He gave me a choice back then to either stay or leave; I could tell He wanted me to stay and “wait it out”, but the emotional damage that was done to me at the time left me scarred. I walked out and found another part of the Body of Christ to fellowship with, that not only adhered to Scripture, but had the teaching and moving of the Holy Spirit as well.
The Lord kept His promise to me—He said things would be better in time, although still needing some reform in certain areas. But allowing the Third Person of the Trinity to finally be made more known and taught about to His people, so that He could work within them, has been a major positive change I’ve been delighted to discover. To hear some Catholics say they are “born again and Spirit filled” now is remarkable. Their love for Jesus is not only a spoken thing, He is really present in their daily lives. The RCC has greatly improved in that area.
Yet, there are unfortunately some within each sect of the Body of Christ that ignored the Savior’s commandments, and have “turned from the truth” (2 Tim 4:4) altogether. Both Peter and Paul spoke of these things in their letters and we are the generation that is really seeing this come together. We MUST unite the brethren (John 17:21-23; 1 Corinthians 1:10(see pic); 12:12-13; 2 Corinthians 13:11; John 13:35; Philippians 2:2-3; Matthew 18:19-20; 23:8; Ephesians 1:10; 2:14; 4:1-6(see pic), 11-13, 16; Colossians 3:13-14; Psalm 133:1; 1 Peter 3:8; Romans 6:5; 12:4,16; Galatians 3:26,28).
We are not to concentrate on what divides us as far as the differences in how we praise and worship the Lord; He wants us to concentrate on what UNITES us, and going back to Acts and see how the brethren worked together as one back then. Why should it be any different today? To borrow loosely again from Dallas Jenkins(creator of The Chosen Series)’ quote—let the Lord Jesus deal with the feeding of the 5,000 and let US brothers and sisters in Him concentrate on bringing the loaves and fishes, work together as ONE BODY in Christ, and not bicker over the differences. The Lord is not deaf, dumb or blind to what needs to be changed and reformed in the Body; He works first with the individuals themselves, and then spreads it further within the Body. The Holy Spirit’s job IS to “convict the world concerning sin, righteousness and judgment”(John 16:8); He knows exactly who in the Body of Christ is following Him, and who isn’t.
The Holy Spirit is the SAME “still small voice”(1 Kings 19:12) that is in EVERY believer. For those who will humble themselves and “have ears to hear”(Mathew 11:15; Luke 8:8; Revelation 2:7), I say ALL of us need to go to the Father, and ask Him to point us in the direction HE wants us to go (Isaiah 55:6-7). Spend time with Jesus each and every day in prayer, conversation and studying His Word (Matthew 6:6; Romans 10:17; James 4:8). HEED the voice of the Holy Spirit who dwells within us—He is there to lead, guide, instruct, correct, chastise(let’s not forget those last two!!), comfort and encourage us (Psalm 143:10; Isaiah 30:21; Luke 12:11-12; John 14:26; 16:7-11, 13; Acts 1:8; 2:28; Romans 8:6,9,14,26-27; 1 Corinthians 2:13; 6:19; Galatians 5:25(see pic); Ephesians 1:13; 2 Peter 1:19-21). I do not put these verses in here to “show off” how much I know—I put them in here in the hope that you, the reader, will be a “Berean” and look them up for yourselves, and be edified and encouraged by His Word. I pray that we all would continue to hear His “still small voice” speaking to us every single day. Allow the Lord to teach us, transform us (Romans 12:2), no longer following the masses in their thoughts, values, and lack of common sense, and having the apparent void of God in their lives (Exodus 23:2; Eph. 4:17). Allow also for the Lord to “shatter the glass” in your life, if it is needed. Definition of that saying—“a moment of realization that changes your perception on something” (urbandictionary.com).
So let the Lord lead you, of course. My “glass” was shattered about a month ago now, about the RCC, and how much they have positively changed in the last 35 years since I left, because of what happened to me within my own parish. Reform in every church body needs to be done, and still there are items in the RCC that definitely need to be addressed, but again the Lord was letting me know that He was keeping His promise to me—to make sure that those who had “ears to hear” would hear, and follow Him regardless of what man may have put down as “doctrine”. The Spirit will continue to gather His people unto Himself, lovingly correct, unify and strengthen the Body of Christ. All we must do, is listen, heed His voice, adhere to His Word, allow Him to “shatter” any glass within our lives, and unite as ONE BODY in Christ, so that we all can “be in one accord” with Him, to bring others to Christ, and be a true example of LOVE between all the brethren, speaking in Spirit and Truth. Be blessed.
I want to start by saying that there have been happily, a plethora of articles and video interviews recently of The Chosen TV series based on the Gospels. It was live streamed on You Tube by Creator and Director Dallas Jenkins, to first get the message out about the series, launching it just prior to the Passover and Easter season. It was perfect that we were all “shut in”, due to the start of the pandemic. God had this all planned out swimmingly to make it happen, and providentially gave Dallas the “idea” to stream it live for everyone.
I also wanted to take a bit of a different approach on the series, from the perspective of the journey the Lord has had me on, and what I recently found out from the testimonies of Dallas Jenkins and Jonathan Roumie, the actor that portrays Jesus in the hit series. Two words kept coming up and matching what I have been going through, and I suspect, many others out there, that God is presently working on in their individual lives—obedience and surrender. I feel like it was those two words that made this series possible, and I know it is making all the changes in my life for the better. Here is a bit of my testimony so far, and also what I have learned about Dallas and Jonathan as well.
It was a little over a year into my Faith walk Journey with the Lord when I felt the burden to pray for something that would stir the hearts of the people. I was getting introduced to many sermons, songs, and books on obedience, walking by faith and not by sight, etc. They were definitely doing a work in me, and I was sensing more and more that surrendering all to the Lord back in December, 2016 was the right thing to do. I was “getting used to different”, meaning it was no longer my will, but God’s will and His way. It was scary at first, but after hearing the Holy Spirit lovingly tell me back then that I was “half-heartedly” serving Him for all those years up to that point, I cried until my chest hurt with a pain I have never felt before.
I thought I was serving Him, but as He explained what His plan and purpose was for my life—the gifts He instilled in me that were there, like singing, being a musician, and writing, but not being used; the relationship issues that continually went on because I didn’t trust Him enough to choose “that man” for me; not tithing as I should have been when I actually had a paycheck TO tithe. He wanted me to surrender it ALL that night in December , and I finally gave in. I said, “Yes, take it all, do what You want with me; You know best, and I’m sorry for not trusting You beforehand. I trusted You with my very soul for salvation—how could I not have trusted you for a spouse, my future, my finances, etc.?” I finally let go, and let Him lead me. He then said, “Good; I can finally take you off the shelf, and begin to use you again. We’re picking up where we left off.” There was a difference of 30+ years there, nevertheless, He was ready to re-start my life as I waited on Him, and still am, for all those things near and dear to my heart.
My life has not been the same; I’ve been living step-by-step, day-by-day as HE has willed for me to live a life of total surrendered faith. He has been faithful 100 percent of the time in all that I’ve needed. I’ve had all my necessary bills paid, food on the table and clothes on my back, and then some! You can read more about me if you’d like in my other blog posts, but this particular post is not about just where my faith walk is taking me ever since I surrendered myself over to the Lord; He still has my destiny “under construction”. I’m still in the “before” stage. Let’s concentrate now on what the “after” stage looks like when a person does surrender everything over, walks in obedience, and then finally gets to see the manifestation of that, when they allowed God to do what seemed impossible to them, but was possible for Him.
Going back to all the resources I had working for me to bring my relationship closer to the Lord, I wanted to pray for something to capture the hearts of millions, and turn them over to Christ. I remember the faces of the people in the theaters AFTER seeing “The Passion of the Christ”—they were NOT the same people when they left the theatre that day. Remembering that event, that’s what I wanted to see on a much bigger scale— something that was going to make such an impact that lives would not just be emotionally moved for a while, and then life would go back to normal. It had to be a total life transformation, but what could God do that people would relate to, that will MAKE them want to know Jesus, come to a saving knowledge of Him, pick their Bibles and actually read them? How was God going to pull this off in the 21st century, when this world seemingly couldn’t care less about the very Savior who made it??
Enter The Chosen TV series, that Creator and Director Dallas Jenkins had on his heart to do, once he surrendered everything over to the Lord when a movie (“The Resurrection of Gavin Stone”) that he thought was going to make it big in the theaters, flopped, back in 2017. He thought for sure that God was going to open up doors for him with that, but what God ended up doing to Dallas, sounded the same as what I went through and someone else from The Chosen—He brought him to the point of surrender. Dallas had to lay it all down at the Lord’s feet, and allow Him to do whatever He saw fit, no matter what the outcome was going to be. Dallas and his wife Amanda knew that giving it all to God was what needed to be done, and whatever direction He led them in, was the one path they needed to take.
I’ll let you read or watch about Dallas’ testimony on just how The Chosen came to be born and then fruition. But what I want to stress here is that it happened BECAUSE Dallas surrendered all he had, and allowed the Lord to make the decisions, and put him on the path he needed to walk, in order to make The Chosen what it is today. What God wanted Dallas and Amanda to do, is trust in Him, let HIM “feed the 5,000” and just concentrate on bringing the “loaves and the fish”. It was going to take a whole lot of faith, and at this point in Dallas’ career, a huge miracle, but God was faithful and was about to deliver such a thing unto him.
Within the next several months, Dallas made a short film around Christmas time intended only for his church called “The Shepherd”. He didn’t know it at the time, but that was the “birth” of what was to become the pilot of The Chosen series today. The money that was raised and invested into the series has become the biggest crowd-funded project ever, breaking every record out there. But remember, if Dallas did NOT surrender everything over to God, this may not have had the impact it is had on millions of people by this point. He learned how the Lord was excellent at doing “impossible math” and has now experienced how He has multiplied that many times over.
Another story of surrender that I want to include here, is about the actor who portrays Jesus, Jonathan Roumie. Jonathan has been an experienced actor, director, producer, voice over artist, and a pretty darn good drummer, if you ask me. Again, I’m not going to go into every detail—you can also watch You Tube videos and read many wonderful articles about him online. What I want to concentrate on is how the Lord was also getting Jonathan to the point of surrender in his life, because as you can see by the obvious pattern here in this blog’s story, the Lord was busy putting certain pieces of The Chosen “puzzle” together, and Jonathan was going to be one of them.
Jonathan worked already with Dallas back in 2014 in the role of Jesus in “The Two Thieves”, and also worked on a couple other minor projects with him. In the meantime, Jonathan was getting work here and there in Hollywood, and his spiritual life, albeit good with the Lord, was going to also go under some major “faith construction”. The Lord was bringing Jonathan to that ultimate point of surrender, just around the time Dallas was starting to have things fall into place with his ideas for the tv series, after his Christmas film went viral.
Now up to this point, Jonathan has had a few of what I’ve learn to call, “God Winks” himself. The picture of the Orthodox Icon of the Divine Mercy that “just so happened” to show up at his door one day back in 2003, after he thought to himself if such a thing even existed, he would like to have one. Right there that made Jonathan realize that God was listening to him. Years later, just as the Lord was bringing Dallas to a giant leap of faith where he needed to be to start this Chosen TV series project, around May of 2018, Jonathan’s faith was being tested like never before, and the Lord brought him to the end of himself, where surrender was the only option if he wanted to stay within the Father’s will for his life. His career, finances, etc. was in the balance. As Jonathan was doing all that he could do in his own strength, he started asking God if this was where He wanted him to be. If it was, then fine; if not, to show and tell Jonathan exactly what He wanted him to do. Silence was the answer for a while, and that didn’t sit well with him.
Right when Jonathan was at his most desperate point—not being able to pay bills, no doors of work opportunities opening up, etc., he finally told the Lord one day that he was handing it all over to Him, and that He couldn’t do any more than he already has, and surrendering it all over to God seemed like the only right thing to do. Sounds familiar, huh? Check out episode four and see what Simon goes through and how the Lord brings him to his point of surrender and obedience.
That very day, Jonathan received a few checks in the mail, which ended up paying for all those bills that he was unable to pay. That was not just a coincidence, Jonathan realized—it was the answer to the prayer of surrender he made to God. That was what the Lord was waiting for all along—for Jonathan to allow HIM to make the decisions in his life. It was a few months later, when Jonathan heard from Dallas about The Chosen series project and how he wanted him to play the part of Jesus. The rest is history, and Jonathan’s faith has increased exponentially in the last couple of years because of surrendering all to the Lord Jesus Christ.
What I want you to glean from this blog article, is how a person, who already has a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, is brought to the end of themselves, even though they have been believers most of their lives. But God has a purpose and a plan for all of us, and He wants us to have the best, and be the best for Him, and His glory. That way, many others are brought into the Kingdom of God through the sacrifice of obedience and surrender to Him. It really is a win-win situation when you think about it. People get saved, come to a relationship with the Lord Jesus, the Family of God gets even larger, and spans across the world, even into the doctrinal differences that the enemy has tried so hard to divide us by. But God sovereignly wins in the end; His will be done, even if some don’t totally surrender to Him. Thankfully, I’ve learned my lesson, albeit the hard way, and Dallas and Jonathan are now not only more fully aware of the individual purposes God has ordained for their lives, but they are also a part of the first-ever and greatest Bible TV series, that’s 100% crowd funded. Only God can pull that off. I myself am but a tiny part of it all—an avid lover and watcher of the series, and now an admin on The Chosen Prayer Warriors page, and that was also all God’s doing and within His perfect timing. I am so grateful to be along for this awesome adventure!
I pray that you have been encouraged by what you have read here today, and it challenges you, the reader, as well. To learn more about Dallas Jenkins, Jonathan Roumie, and the rest of The Chosen Series cast, you can find them either on Facebook, Instagram, or You Tube, and subscribe to see all the videos of The Chosen, or you can download the app which is http://www.thechosen.tv/app. Right now, all eight episodes of the series are able to be seen for free, thanks to the generous support of every single person who is paying it forward, to see the success of this TV series reach millions for Christ. You can also help pay it forward by getting some of the awesome merchandise which includes the DVD and different apparel. You can find that at http://www.thechosenmerch.com.
I pray that you were blessed by reading all the testimonies. I’m sure there are more than just these, and as God continues to do a work with the series, there will be plenty more from Him! May God bless all who are involved in The Chosen series, and may we continue to surrender our lives over to the Lord God, and see how much more He will do when a person gives their lives wholeheartedly over to Him. Be blessed.
I came across a Bible verse this past week that struck me; it was from Romans 11:22–“Behold therefore the GOODNESS and SEVERITY of GOD…” It’s in the pic so I won’t repeat it here. When I sat there and read it over a couple of times, it really got to me how BLUNT the Lord God is. They are strong but truthful words. The Lord God HAS to “tell it like it is” sometimes, to “get the message across” to His VERY stubborn, stiff-necked Creation. Even I, a Daughter of His, acts like a BRAT sometimes😫, and I find myself more ofthen than not these days, having to apologize🥺 for my attitude and not being grateful enough.
Yea, I can certainly be like that sometimes, especially with all that I’ve been through lately; and the best part is, HE UNDERSTANDS!🥰 But that doesn’t mean I can continue to be a brat. 🙁 I have to acknowledge my faults and weaknesses like any other person, ask for forgiveness, and move forward in my FAITH.
God has to be JUST; He cannot “wink” His eye at our sins, and just brush them off. He cannot praise one person for being all they can be for Him, suffering righteously, sacrificing their lives for Him, and then allow someone who couldn’t care less about knowing Him or His Son, OR His Word, keep on living the way they are without Just Recompense for it. God is HONEST, PURE, HOLY, REVERENT, but He IS “approachable”, believe it or not! Many people don’t think He is, and that is one of the biggest LIES of the enemy! The Lord God has MADE A WAY for us, when there SEEMED to be no way—through JESUS and the BLOOD that HE shed for us on Calvary’s Cross. NOT through Mary, NOT through saints, NOT through “good works”, NOT through serving another god especially—no way! But that doesn’t mean the RCC is not a Christian church; they do have their own traditions, of which I am fully aware, because I was fully engaged in the church, serving there as a Lector, in the Choir, as one of the worship leaders in the Charismatic folk group service, and lastly, a Eucharistic Minister. I did leave for reasons that I will NOT get into now, but I’ve had to learn to forgive and allow the Lord to deal with those who hurt me. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ, nevertheless, and I love them. I am stressing, though, that it is ONLY through Jesus we can go back to the Father (John 10:28-30; 14:6; 1 Cor. 8:6;), and the FREE GIFT of Salvation that is available to ALL that are WILLING to ASK, SEEK, and KNOCK (Matthew 7:7). I mean no disrespect to any of my Catholic brethren in the faith. We’re all still learning to work together as ONE BODY in CHRIST even after all these years.
You who have tried everything else to “satisfy” you in this life—alcohol, drugs, sex, etc., you’ve sinned against God and His commandments. Even if you considered yourself a “good person” being kind and doing good deeds, you still haven’t lived a perfectly sinless life. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US has broken at least ONE of the Ten Commandments, and besides that, we ALL have the innate SIN NATURE that was passed down to us through Adam and Eve (yea, I know🙄, it wasn’t “fair” that WE wuld have to bear that original sin in us as well, but then again, it also wasn’t “fair” that Jesus had to LEAVE HIS THRONE in Heaven, to come down HERE, live among us, and then DIE for us, just so we could have the ONLY WAY back to the Father!). Jesus took upon Himself, OUR SINS, in order to MAKE that way possible.
People think there are “many ways” to God. I’ve been reading the Bible since I was 14, and I haven’t seen anywhere in it that says there are other “roads” leading back to God. It isn’t through scarab beetles, or through several different gods, nor through intelligence, science (oh, by the way, He CREATED SCIENCE and everything else that’s out in the UNIVERSE—just saying😏), “spiritualism”, or any other false religions, cults, or even the apostate Church, can one find TRUE salvation, but in GOD ALONE, by FAITH, and NOT by works(Ephesians 2:8-9).
We’ve all sinned, and come short of the glory of God(Romans 3:23). If God never intervened, we’d all be on our way to Hell and Eternal destruction which was originally meant for Satan and the angels ONLY that also rebelled against the LORD God(Matthew 25:41; 2Peter 3:9; Rev. 20:10). Now that mankind throughout the ages has rejected the Lord and His Son Jesus, “Hell hath enlarged herself” (Isaiah 5:14), taking into her depths, those who were never meant to go there in the first place. BUT God MUST be JUST, or else He wouldn’t be God, now, would He?
Read through verses 15-24 as well in Isaiah 5. Do a word study on Hell, or a Topical study on Heaven, Hell and the Judgment of God. SEEK the Lord out; let Him KNOW that you ARE interested in getting to know Him. Don’t allow FEAR, guilt, regret, unworthiness, etc. make you think you cannot approach the Almighty!
Do NOT allow the enemy of our souls think he is in charge—he is NOT!! He has been DEFEATED! Satan’s destiny is the LAKE OF FIRE—he has NO POWER over any believers, unless WE weaken ourselves, and allow him to get to us.
As far as any of you readers who are not yet a believer in Jesus (Yeshua), it is true that Satan does have “legal ground” in your life; you don’t have the Attorney of All the Ages (1 Timothy 2:5) going to “bat” for you, since you have not ACCEPTED Jesus into your life AS your SAVIOR and LORD. He will IMMEDIATELY be present IN you the SECOND you accept Him. The Holy Spirit will ABIDE (live) in you, and teach, guide, correct, encourage, chastise, comfort, etc. you as you start to LIVE your LIFE out for HIM, and what He has willed and PURPOSED for you. Yes, there IS a PURPOSE and a PLAN for you!
This is where the new believer in Yeshua wants to SEEK His will for their lives. Jesus IS Jewish; the Jewish Feasts in the Bible play a HUGE part in all that is going on in the world, every single day. Do NOT be surprised as you learn more and more about the Lord God and His Son Jesus, how much it IS of Jewish origin. I’ll have to go into that at another time. Remember—the FIRST Christians WERE obviously JEWISH. Let that SINK IN…
And I’ll leave that right there. ACCEPT. BELIEVE. TRUST. HOPE. OBEY. LOVE. READ His Word; SEEK Him out; CALL upon the Name of the Lord (Romans 10:9-10, 13; Acts 2:21) and be SAVED. “For YOU, LORD, are GOOD, and ready to FORGIVE; and plenteous in MERCY unto ALL then that CALL UPON YOU” (Psalm 86:5). Stay well, stay safe, and be blessed, dear ones.
I know it’s been almost three months since I’ve blogged; between being sick for most of my Winter Break from school, having to move to a temporary location until I was able to move to where I am now(not of my doing, but obviously of the Lord’s); getting into the Spring Semester, the Italy trip 14 of us were looking forward to going to was cancelled; my hopes and dreams shattered AGAIN while waiting for “that man” God has for me, and now to top it all off–the Coronavirus hitting us hard all over the world, and bringing us to almost a complete STOP at the moment, in order to combat it and get it under control, the sum of all of this is: “It is the LORD; Let HIM do what seems good to Him in His eyes.” That’s from 1 Samuel 3:18. Eli was saying that to Samuel, after Samuel had to tell him some very unsettling news from the Lord. All Eli could do, was accept it, and deal with it.
I (and many of the world’s population at this time) find myself doing the same thing–having to accept it and deal with it. Most people probably aren’t quoting this Scripture, but since it WAS brought to my “attention” this morning, during my prayers while literally crying out to the Lord of my YET present circumstances, this was His “answer” to me.
To say my heart breaks over and over again in the last couple of months–the words are not doing the pain justice; there is a HUGE gaping hollow feeling I have inside of me now, worse than ever before. ALL I’ve waited for, ALL that I’ve prayed and hoped for; ALL that I was being TOLD to WAIT ON HIM for–ALL of it, has been DASHED to pieces AGAIN. And YET as it says in 1 Samuel 3:18, “It is the Lord; let Him do what seems good to Him”, somehow needs to bring me to a place of PEACE and stillness before the Lord, no matter where my wretched human emotions want to take me.
In the realm of all that’s been happening to me lately, it “seemed good” to God to allow me some “insight” on what’s been going on with “that man”. What I’ve learned and now have to endure for an even longer spell (how long, only the Lord Himself knows), is excruciating. All I had to learn while BEING a child of God, and having the Lord chastise, correct and re-direct how I handled my mental and emotional issues, apparently “he” has to learn the “hard way” as well, as per the Spirit. It’s the Lord’s “best way” of dealing with what needs to be “delivered out of him”, in order to MAKE him the man of God he was meant to be. In other words, I’ve hit yet ANOTHER “detour” on this “walk in the DARK with FAITH”.
The PATH that I prayed to have been “cleared” so there wouldn’t be any more delays in “our” lives; the “wrong LIFE choices” that hopefully neither one of us would make any more, so that we COULD move forward and live out the life we always wanted to, having the right partner finally in our lives, etc.–well, that sounded all well and good to ME, but that’s not the way the LORD was going to handle it. He had other ways to bring “him” to his knees, and to a saving relationship with Him. This is ALL part of God’s “Permissible Will” and His TIMING, and yet it IS also His “Sovereign” will. Confusing? Welcome to MY world of living by FAITH…ugh…
I’ve had to “Let GO and Let GOD”, which seems to be the “theme” these past few months, even MORE than I ever had to before. The Spirit DID whisper to my heart just prior to the end of January–“TRUST ME FULLY”; I thought I already was! NOW I know what He meant by that; all that was being done to me in the past few years, had to “strengthen” me to DEAL with what I’ve been hit with at the present time.
This is ALL in God’s Hands–I AM aware of that; it’s not “dead in the water” although it sure SEEMS like it is. My HEART is more BROKEN now than ever, isn’t it(And mind you, I know this is not “all about me”–I write these things so some of you can “connect” with what’s possibly going on similarly in your lives). I must not allow my emotions to get ahead of me, like they used to in the past, but I sure could use a hug now and then…being a “solitary” at my age is horrible…
So let the Lord God do “what seems good in His eyes” to do; in the meantime, I need to concentrate on getting my studies done for this semester that has been decimated by this CORONAVIRUS. It has basically STOPPED the WORLD at this point; all countries involved are working to halt everyone from coming into contact with each other as little as possible, in order to SLOW the spread of it. It’s a smart move, but as you know there are some that are going to do what THEY want to do, and have NO ONE tell them otherwise! That’s the beauty of FREE WILL, and how we humans get to screw up our lives even MORE than they are already!!! Ugh!!!
Schools are shut down for the next couple of weeks; most businesses that are not considered to have “essential employees” like the EMS/Fire/Police/grocery stores/gas stations, etc. are asked to stay home and “hunker down”, and WAIT this out. Us college students will most likely turn to “distance learning” online, in order to continue our studies, at least I was told by my school, until April 5th at this point; depending on what’s going on with the spread of the virus, it may be extended…so we’ll just WAIT and see…
We WERE supposed to go to Italy this week; I was supposed to be eating pizza from Napoli, seeing the sites of Rome, and enjoying gelato with my Latin professor and SPQR classmates; that all was to help me get through what my broken heart has been enduring, but obviously that has been cancelled. Let’s just throw in the zinger I found out this morning, of my boy Tom Brady finally making a decision to “shop elsewhere” for a team this coming football season. “Forever a Patriot”–well, I guess not. But I “wish him well” in all his endeavors. Hmm, I seem to be saying that a lot recently…
In closing, I’ll remark on the Turning Point for today; once again, while I cry out to the Lord, I KNOW He hears me, for THIS was truly an answer and a REMINDER of just WHO is in charge when all “hell” seems to be breaking loose in our lives. The TITLE of today’s devotional was: “SOVEREIGN OVER ALL”, citing Daniel 7:27. He was making mention of how God’s kingdom is an “EVERLASTING KINGDOM, and ALL DOMINIONS (physical AND spiritual!) shall serve and obey Him.” This was definitely a “God Wink” for me today, for no matter how the circumstances may SEEM at the present moment, I am (we are) to FOCUS on what God has told us is the “expected END”, or the “outcome” of everything. For me, it’s what He personally said about my “Season of Waiting”, especially in regards to “that man” and what HE has to do TO him, in order to bring him to his KNEES, and make him into that man of God the Lord pre-destined him to be. I was also reminded this morning how Jonah was thrown off a ship and into a whale’s belly, only to be thrown up on a shore, and then brought to his “senses” about going where the LORD wanted him to go. In the end, God ALWAYS gets HIS WAY, for HIS WAY is His “FINAL SAY” in each and every matter, no matter where our “free will” may want to take us, which is more than likely, in the OPPOSITE direction.
God “turns the hearts of kings” (see Proverbs 21:1-9). At the end of today’s TP devotional, Daniel 2:21 was quoted–“God SETS UP kings and REMOVES kings.” Again, just as it’s been repeated enough here, He is SOVEREIGN. He does rule over all. At the end of the Lord’s Prayer, in Matthew 6:13, “For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.” This immediately brought PEACE again into my heart, reading this devotional. The peace has been there, but the pain and heartache “covers” it up so much lately, that the Spirit regularly needs to “bring it to the surface”, in order for me to “see” and feel it again, as I should.
This is the reason why we believers need to go to the Lord God EVERY SINGLE DAY, because there will always be something (like this Coronavirus) or someone that rocks our world, and we need to continue to be reminded that NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, GOD IS IN CONTROL; He moves the hearts of kings; HE does what seems right in HIS eyes; HE KNOWS the best OUTCOME for all of us, even IF we sit here and say we HATE what’s going on, and HOW He’s doing it! Nevertheless, He DOES have our BEST INTERESTS at heart in it all. He KNOWS the END from the BEGINNING, and will “perfect that” which concerns us all (Psalm 138:8). He will also “complete it until the day of Jesus Christ”(Phil. 1:6).
FOCUS on the OUTCOME; let the Lord do what “SEEMS RIGHT”; don’t focus on the present circumstances, but “forgetting those things which are behind (you), and REACHING FORWARD to what is ahead”(Phil. 3:13). This is NOT an easy task; it take months, if not YEARS, for many of us believers to deal with certain life situations, depending on what they are; there is no special “light switch” that we can shut the pain et al, “off” in our lives in one fell swoop. God allows all that pain and misery, hopelessness and heartache, to bring us closer to HIM when these painful moments hit us. Remember Job and his friends? At first they were quiet, just listening to him, and “being there” for him. After a while, they started to try and “counsel” him, but all they did was make his situation all the more upsetting, by making it seem it was HIS fault, or him not being faithful or strong enough to handle all that GOD, mind you, threw at him. Thankfully, he kept his FOCUS on GOD rather than what they were saying…it was a teachable moment for them as well.
As “dark” as this WALK of FAITH has gotten for me lately, I need to continue to walk His path of LIGHT, no matter what is thrown my way; I suggest you do the same. We can all get stronger in Him through His Word and also get closer to the Lord God and Jesus through all these and any other troubling times that come our way.
“The LORD is my LIGHT and my SALVATION, whom shall I fear? The LORD is the STRENGTH of my life; of WHOM shall I be afraid?”(Psalm 27:1). If you do NOT know Him as yet, may I be so bold as to tell you, GET to KNOW Jesus as your SAVIOR “now”, not as your JUDGE “then”. KNOWING Him and “knowing OF” Him are TWO entirely different things. Be blessed.
It’s been a while since I’ve had a really decent devotional that hit me between the eyes, and it’s a major “God Wink”. The reasons for that are because I’ve been on this “trip” for a while now, and the Lord expects me to just “go with it”–all that He’s given me so far, and “live” off of that. But as I have told Him many times, His daughter needs to be “fed” and encouraged several times throughout this very l o n g Season of Waiting; I cannot just go on what He told me two years ago, and leave it at that. Yes, it’s a weakness; I admit that. I NEED to know things as they are happening from time to time, but I also have to remember that this is a FAITH WALK, and in a FAITH WALK such as this one, I cannot “see” much of anything, lest it wouldn’t be FAITH now, would it?
So as I was traveling to the school late last week to put in some work hours, I was trying to practice my singing in the car, to get ready for doing worship on Sunday. I said to the Spirit that it would be nice to have devotionals that really “hit the target”; most of them haven’t lately, or would be the same ones I’ve seen before , and wouldn’t give me the “boost” I’ve needed after all that’s happened to me recently.
Well, the Lord DELIVERED one to me that very next morning, and yes, even though I believe it’s one that I’ve seen before, it “just so happened” to be 24 hours AFTER I asked Him, so that DOES count as a “God Wink”!
It was from the Streams in the Desert devotional by L. B. Cowan; it was just the “shot in the arm” that I needed.
So here are the verses that “shine” for me, and gave me the boost of confidence, assurance and encouragement needed–the passages they used came from Mark 11:24: “When you pray, BELIEVE”, and also John 4:50: “Jesus said unto him, ‘Go your way; your son lives.’ And the man BELIEVED the word that Jesus had spoken unto him, and he went his way.”
So no matter how weak or strong our FAITH is, God meets us where we are at. He understands our weaknesses, He realizes how much we go through, for HE is the one who ALLOWS ALL that happens to us. He’s SOVEREIGN, remember? NOTHING gets by Him; all passes through His hands, and He directs it to go as HE wills, and WHEN He wills. The result of this man’s son getting healed by the Lord Jesus, without even being there, AND at the exact TIME the man had asked Jesus to help heal him, was proof enough to that whole household, that the Lord IS God, and all of them became believers. He took that step of FAITH first, and THEN the Lord responded.
When we seek Him out, in both our good times and not just our bad, He WILL respond and help us TO believe in Him. He’s not going to just hand it all to us–FAITH must be utilized; hence the verses in James 2:20-26 speaking about how faith without works is dead. But, one cannot gain wisdom, understanding, growth, knowledge, and spiritual maturity WITHOUT having accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord FIRST in their lives. THAT is the biggest “step of FAITH” one needs to take. BUT, if you don’t take that FIRST STEP, you cannot go further down that road He has paved (in advance!) for you.
Will He help you along the way to further believe, and confirm things in your heart? He sure will! He’s done it over and over again in the Scriptures. He’s done it in the lives of every single true Bible-believing person out there, including ME. WHY would He NOT do it for YOU?? After all, walking in FAITH while having a relationship with the Lord God and His Son Jesus, and KNOWING that you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you, to lead and guide you as you live out your new life in Christ, is as important as having oxygen to breathe. Without it, you would die, so I’d say building up your FAITH walk in Christ is pretty important.
READ and STUDY all these verses. You should be reading God’s Word every day. If you don’t know where to begin, start with one of the Gospels, and also go to one of the books in the Tenach–the Old Testament. Go to Genesis, or at least read a Psalm and a Proverb every day. Get to KNOW your Maker, your Redeemer, your Savior and your King, who is also (and should be!) your Best Friend. It’s better to know Him by those attributes, instead of on That Day–the Day of Judgment, having to get to immediately know Him as your JUDGE. That isn’t the Day you want to finally admit to knowing Him (see Revelation 1:7-8). FAITH works, when you take that FIRST STEP towards HIM.
When it is ever a good season to be afflicted? Most of us wouldn’t want to be afflicted at all, whether it be financial, health related, relational, or otherwise. But the reality in life is that in one way or another, all of us are afflicted with some type of pain, issue, nagging problem, etc. that just doesn’t seem to go away. Sometimes, it could come as a combination of those things, and if not addressed or there’s no way of taking care of those issues, they can start to pile up and before you know it, you’re not dealing with just one or two afflictions, but many.
That is how my life has been lately, especially in the past few years. It’s not that I haven’t done anything to take care of those issues; on the contrary–I’ve done all that I can humanly do by myself to make for a better life, and rid myself of these afflictions, one by one. But for whatever reason that He’s not explaining Himself as to WHY I have to continue to deal with such afflictions, the Lord pointed out to me through a devotional this morning, that when HE’S ready to, He’ll deliver me out of them.
Well, let’s see–there’s the sudden living arrangements that had to ONCE AGAIN be addressed; my money situation is at an all-time low; my bills are not being paid because the new job I just started in mid-November can’t allow me to catch up on those bills; I just got an upper respiratory infection so bad that my focal seizures decided to pay me a visit, and stay for the duration of the sickness and then some; the seizures disrupt everything I try to do–I cannot function with half my body deciding it doesn’t want to work, and the pain from the tremors in the beginning of the sickness had me crying out to God to make them stop; it’s CHRISTMAS, and I don’t have a DOLLAR to my name to even buy a present for my grandson, daughter or son-in-law, or anyone else that has been good to me this year, and I would have like to show them my thanks by getting them something nice. It’s just not meant to be.
I should say with that list of things, along with my car issues (brakes are in dire need of changing, and I also need two new tires; will need an oil change in about another 1500 miles or so), OH–and let’s not forget about my sciatica (I’m going to PT for that, thank God) which with EVERY cough (and sneeze!) from this recent URI, it feels like needles being jammed into the side of my left leg!!! Ugh!! The focal seizures (and the pain and weakness that goes along with it) decide what I can and cannot do until they are completely gone (and yes, that’s even with being on medicine), and my patience is at my wit’s end with them!! Even while trying to type this all out, it’s been a struggle, because one side of my body doesn’t want to cooperate with the other. Brain trauma is a lovely thing…NOT!!
So, do you think I can relate to this particular verse right now?? I should think so. BUT, somehow, the Lord does get me through it all. Why He allows it to begin with? Well, because the rain falls on the Just and the Unjust, and while I was in excruciating pain Wednesday night from the tremors, crying out to God asking Him to please STOP the pain, all I hear in my spirit is, “TAKE THE MEDICATION”, which I hate to do, and was hoping I didn’t need any more of it as of Tuesday night. Then He topped it off with this–“JOB RECEIVED BOILS AND HAD TO DEAL WITH THEM, AND HE DID NOTHING WRONG.” Oh my goodness–how can I say anything further?? How can I continue to complain and cry out when I know darn well there are others that go through much worse than what I’m facing?
I have the Lord on my side; others don’t because they choose not to for the most part. As much pain as it is to go through all of this right now, I know I’ll have another place to live as of the end of January; a friend is opening up their doors for me to live there. I do have a part time job as a student worker at my college that will hopefully bring in about 20 hours worth of work each week. It doesn’t pay much, but at least it’s something, and I’m grateful for it. The focal seizures will eventually go away as the URI continues to clear up. I’m not sure how I’m going to take care of my car issues as yet; and my two payments that I’m behind right now in my car, I pray somehow that can be rectified. I just made a Go Fund Me page a day ago, but hardly anyone is paying attention to it. Everyone congratulated me a few days ago on my 4.0 GPA , but suddenly there’s “crickets” on Facebook and Instagram when it comes to helping me out financially with a donation; but then again, it’s Christmas, and everyone is probably tapped out as well. My luck.
But again, somehow, God will make a way when there seems to be no way. HOW?? I have NO idea. I’m doing all that I can and have the strength and resources to do, and will reach out even to the state and see how they can help. I’m divorced, alone, will be turning 55 in February, full time in college, a 4.0 GPA working my butt off to do all that I can to make my life better. But humanly, it’s not enough, so Divine intervention is sorely needed and appreciated. Prayers are wonderful, but I also need a physical manifestation of these problems getting solved. I’m WAITING for the second part of Psalm 34:19 to come to FRUITION. I know it will, but not in my time; only in HIS will it happen. Until then, I have to BE STILL, and know that He is God, and He’ll work it out when He’s ready to.
Well, this Fall semester at school has been a bit more busier than last year, and I had one more class then. I’ve been busy trying to also fit in two small part-time jobs; one brings just enough money in for gas and tolls, while the other job which I started this past month at school, will barely give me enough to pay for both my car bill and insurance. But, I am thankful for these small jobs, because they’re better than nothing. I’m tired of being unemployed.
Things have really been hard on me both financially and emotionally; I tried so hard to “convince” the Lord to allow me to have a full time job when it finally came about, while going to school. I wanted to have the job during the day, while taking classes at night, and yes, that also would have been at full-time status. He turned me down, saying that I cannot walk this WALK of FAITH in the DARK, while earning a decent paycheck, and not being totally dependent on Him for everything. It just doesn’t work that way; at least for right now with what He, the Lord, has me doing. That didn’t sit well with me, but the full time job I managed to acquire on my own with a decent paycheck, “suddenly” had no use for me anymore after a week, and the employers through my job agency decided they didn’t want or need a receptionist; they would go back to doing things the old way—answering the phones themselves. I was totally shocked and thoroughly upset, to say the least.
That put me into such a tailspin—I thought my financial problems were over; I also thought the sudden emergence of an old friend coming back into my life, was finally going to be the beginning stages of that “Season of Waiting” ending. That hope was dashed just as quickly as the job was. All that I tried to do, and the direction I was hoping to head into, was completely turned around in an instant by God. I found myself once again jobless, and my Season of Waiting was now not only being “extended”, but having recent developments confirmed to me, there was going to be an undetermined amount of time that I may have to endure. Besides, it’s more than obvious to me that not only is God truly in control of all these circumstances, but He knows what’s best to happen WHEN it should happen, and HOW it is to come about. But I’m thankful that God IS in sovereign control of it all.
Everyone comes to a point in their life when those trials are seemingly just too much to bear anymore. I hit that point just after all that happened to me a couple of months ago. School kept me busy enough, though. The Lord has had me take on not only a Minor (Holocaust and Genocide Studies), but has now confirmed to my heart that I am to go for the Master’s Degree in that once I completed my Bachelor’s. Why? I have no idea—He’s the one at the helm of my ship; He’s steering it and I’m just following his commands as He gives out the orders. I am thankful that I do know what direction my life is in going in now; I do have complete PEACE about it, yet emotionally, because I am STILL single, the loneliness going through these hard but necessary stages in my life nevertheless is exhausting.
I know it’s better to WAIT on God and also allow Him to direct me on the Path HE wants me to go, and has ordained for me.
The holidays, in these last several years being alone, have been a real struggle to go through. When you have a partner in life, and/or your own family, it’s easy to say to people like myself, “Oh, at least you have your (fill in the blank) to celebrate with; be happy you have them.” But “they” don’t take the place of that special someone who the single person has been waiting for all their adult life.
However, I know my life situation isn’t as bad as some others are. God has given me not only another chance at finding true love, He’s allowed me to go back to school, provided for all my NEEDS so far on this Journey (even though sometimes they look like they aren’t going to be met, and then miraculously, they are!), given me much clearer DIRECTION as to what to pursue in this life according to HIS will, Purpose and Plan for me, AND He’s also given me many loving and caring family and friends to share my life Journey with.
I know that His plans are being “worked out together for the good”. The many “God Winks” that I’ve encountered recently point right towards all that I’ve been waiting for; the Lord just keeps confirming all that He’s told me from the beginning—to WAIT on Him, TRUST in His timing, be grateful for all that I DO have, and don’t concentrate on what I DON’T have. Continue to be PATIENT, and walk the walk of FAITH—yes, in the DARK—and while holding His Hand, He’ll lead me to a more abundant Ephesians 3:20 life and love than I could have ever imagined having without Him. I hope you all have a blessed Thanksgiving.
A couple of months ago, while reading one of my daily devotionals, “Streams in the Desert” by L. B. Cowan, the subject (and the title that was used) was about being “Shut Up to FAITH”, citing Galatians 3:23. Sometimes, like the situation I’m STILL in right now, God “shuts us up” to FAITH, allowing us to go through certain trials, abandon old rituals and embrace the new RELATIONSHIP with Him, “put off” the ways of our “old man” that kept us in those “chains”, to “put on” the “new man” in Christ, allowing HIM to lead and guide us on a path of FREEDOM we’ve never experienced before. That FREEDOM is being CLEANSED (1John 1:9) of our SINS, no longer allowing all those addictions, temptations, negative thinking, etc. to weigh us down. Instead, God shows us lovingly the areas of our lives that need to be changed and transformed, and then leads us by the hand on a Journey of FAITH and liberty down a road that we thought was forever “blocked” by all we’ve done in our past.
However, the SURRENDERING of the god of “SELF” must be done, for any of this to work, and succeed. By the time we get to “that point”, God has already paved out the RIGHT PATH He’s longing to get us on, in order to rid us of those chains that has been wearing us down. Once we HUMBLE our WHOLE selves to Him, and allow Him to be our Savior and Lord, asking Him naturally to “lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil” that has been plaguing us, He takes us by His side, and “shuts us up” to Himself.
For every believer, it is a different amount of TIME, and a different way of doing it. It doesn’t just happen when we first come to Him, either. This devotional speaks of such men in the Bible like Moses, Paul and Silas, and John, who at one point in their journey of LIFE, God “shut them up” to change and transform their lives, and PREPARE them for either what lied ahead for them to do, or for others following them, but using them (like the Apostle John who wrote Revelation) to guide and warn others of the coming judgments God would have on His Creation, if they did not heed His Word and REPENT.
I can relate to this part SO much right now, especially the “loss” part; December will make it THREE YEARS for me, being “shut up to FAITH”: “Dear reader, are you in some great trouble? Have you had some great disappointment, have you met some sorrow, some unspeakable loss? Are you in a HARD place? Cheer up! You are SHUT UP TO FAITH. Take your trouble the right way. COMMIT it to God…”—C.H.P.
But it really was necessary for the Lord to do this to AND for me. I had some major issues that needed to be dealt with, without having anyone else in my life around me at the time. It was best that God “sequestered” me (He just ‘planted’ that word in my mind–He does that from time to time… lol!) into a life situation that kept me from going to work in the world, being busy with this that, and not having the TIME needed to get me off my “crooked roads”, onto the PATH that He pre-destined for me long ago. Being a NANNY for about a year and a half “just so happened” to make that possible. The NEXT step was to get me back into school and start living out and using more of what I’ve been taught. There were things the Lord still wanted to “perfect” in me (Psalm 138:8), so the FRUITION of this Journey and the end of this “Season of Waiting” was still a way off.
But, the Lord states in His Word, and I BELIEVE it to be TRUE, as it is written in Philippians 1:6 that “being confident of this very thing, that HE who began a good work in you WILL perfect it (bring it to completion) until the day of Jesus Christ”. Do NOT be surprised at all, WHEN, not if, the Lord does the same to you as you reach out to Him in FAITH, and ask Him to change and transform your life for the very PURPOSE He created you to begin with. You WILL see and hear Him in many different ways, “working all things together for good” (Romans 8:28), but it’s going to take some TIME, depending on YOUR LIFE story, and what He intended for you.
I got to the end of this devotional, and THERE it was, waiting for me—the VERY thing I’ve been crying and praying to the Lord again about in the last several days. I’ve been WAITING for such a long time, and I am longing for this “Season” to end, so here is the Lord’s sovereign power, love and might, working through this devotional to me, encouraging me one more time, to just “wait a little longer”: “Praise Him that He makes “all things work together for good” and that “God works for him that WAITS for Him” (Isaiah 64:4). There will be blessings, help and REVELATIONS of God that will come to you that NEVER could otherwise have come; and MANY besides yourself will receive great LIGHT and blessing because you were shut up to FAITH.”—C.H.P.
I couldn’t have said it better myself; It has once again blessed me and strengthened me to go further down this road of FAITH, while waiting for the Lord to “perfect” all that He needs to not only in me, but in “that man”, in the Journey He’s planned for us, our future, His glory, our benefit, and others’ blessings. Most importantly, is the SALVATION of many that will come about because of this work He has done in me, and the others that have been “weaved” into this Journey of mine.
We’re really all in it together, so shouldn’t we ALL be helping each other through it? This has been my way of doing it; sharing what’s going on in my LIFE, and telling others how GOOD the Lord God really is; all YOU, the reader must do, is BELIEVE that He will do the same for you, TRUST that He has a plan for you as well (see Jeremiah 29:11), LISTEN to what He says to you through His Word, His “still small Voice” (see 1 Kings 19:11-13), etc., and above all, spend time in PRAYER and OBEY His every word. When you mess up, because you WILL, ASK for forgiveness, and “put off” that part of the “old man” that snuck up on you once again. Beat down your PAST, tell it to SHUT UP, and be gone, in the Name of Jesus and start living the LIFE God meant for you to LIVE!! Let daring bold FAITH in Him completely transform your life—be ALL that you can be in CHRIST, and WATCH what happens supernaturally in your LIFE because you DARED to WALK IN THE DARK with FAITH!! Be Blessed–
I’ve been married twice—the first time, it was because I had a child out of wedlock, and we tried to do the “right thing” by getting married about four years into our relationship. It wasn’t the best of times, and even though I loved the fact that I was part of his big family, we were so not meant for each other. But it was hard to break away because I hated to be alone.
But this second marriage—there was I thought, something different and better about it. After all, he was a “Christian” and we had a lot in common, especially both of us being musicians. We met at church through a friend, and even though I was told over and over again by the Spirit to “WAIT, Jeannette, PLEASE wait”, I ignored those pleas. I soon found myself not only thrilled to have someone in my life again, but within TWO WEEKS, he asked me to marry him, and I said YES! And within four months to the day we met, we were married.
As crazy as that sounds, it happened just like that. The pastor of our church tried to have us wait a while, at least six months or so, until we got to know each other better. But we wouldn’t hear of it; we were determined to be with each other, for we felt that we knew what we were doing. Besides, neither one of us wanted to be ALONE anymore. He was by himself for quite some time, and so was I. We figured we’d be alright because we were Christians, and God would be happy with our current choice, rather than who we had in our past.
Husband Number Two wasn’t married before like I was. Personality-wise, he was the complete OPPOSITE of Number One. That was one of the main reasons I was attracted to him. I realize now that when the Holy Spirit told me to “WAIT”, oh my soul—I should have LISTENED!! There were many issues with Husband Number Two that slowly but surely came out over the next several years. We didn’t have any children, and now I am grateful for that. But out of those thirteen years with him, the latter SIX were some of the loneliest times I had out of married life.
More and more it proved to be I made yet another wrong life choice. Four years before the marriage finally ended, he left me, and for the next three months of my life, it was horrific. As bad as our marriage was at that point, I didn’t want it to end. All the arguments and fights, all the nights one of us would be sleeping on the couch (most of the time it was me—he wasn’t giving up the bed), I couldn’t stand the fact that I just may be ALL ALONE AGAIN. That thought haunted me every single day.
We finally got back together after those three months, but the next four years was more of the same—living as roommates, hardly any intimate time, and even though we moved a couple of times hoping the new scenery and areas would help our marriage, the fact of the matter was, WE weren’t meant to be together either.
Once again, God proved Himself right—if He wasn’t the One ordaining the marriage to begin with, it wasn’t going to last. Once again, I failed. Once again, I found myself alone, at least for a short time, and then I fell into my bad habit again of having someone else to fill the “loneliness” gap for another two years, until finally, the Lord put the “brakes” on back in 2016. Through natural and supernatural means (He is the Revealer of secrets—see Daniel 2:27-28, 47)—when He’s ready to tell us those secrets, He “lifts the veil”, and puts the pieces of the puzzle together—at least enough of it for the time, so we can understand what He’s trying to tell us. For me, I was reminded about WHY the Spirit tried to me make me WAIT on Him back in 2000, and NOT be with anyone else. I needed that time for GROWTH in Him, and in myself. I never gave myself a break since I was 20 years old; I always either dated, or was involved in a long term relationship.
But what the Lord wanted me to do almost three years ago, was to me, very frightening. Being ALONE, by myself, having NO man to go out to dinner with, to be intimate with (but intimacy doesn’t just mean jumping into bed with each other, folks!)—after all, I AM a human; I do desire LOVE, and romance. I am a VERY passionate person, and to be without someone all this time has been sometimes excruciating!! But after what the Lord explained to me just WHO that person was—the “clues” He gave to me years ago, that I just ignored, and never gave another thought to—the Lord was TRYING TO HELP me not suffer any more with having the wrong guy in my life, and I basically blew Him off!
“What the HECK was I thinking?!”, I said to Him after He not only finally divulged the “mystery” of what He told me back in 2000, but He said that no matter what, I needed TIME to heal, and to start living the LIFE He had intended me to live. He didn’t just give me the gifts of music and writing to push aside and never use again; He wanted me not just to survive in this world, but to THRIVE, and FLOURISH. But—the “deal” was, it had to be on HIS terms (that means, according to HIS Word), and in HIS timing of it all.
One of the “terms” was, just what I am doing now—telling others of the very costly LIFE mistakes I made, and hoping that by telling others, especially the younger generation, they will HEED my warnings, and not repeat what I’ve done!
Hence the other part of the “terms” He set forth—to write them down not only in my Journal, and a Blog, but a BOOK. Actually, a series of books, so others can learn from my mistakes, and make better decisions based on the Bible, and having a PERSONAL relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
As far as the music portion goes, He led me to a church where I am currently on the Worship Team, and the Worship Leader and I are also in another band that sings and plays classic rock and roll, just for fun. That’s a “God Wink” story for another time.
Being married was always HIS plan for my life—choosing who I wanted, ended up being MY plan, not His. I have “reaped” what I’ve sown all those years ago. The loneliness I’ve felt came in waves these past few years on this “Season of Waiting” Journey; sometimes I feel like I’m going to crash and drown. But then the Lord “shows up”, and as if I can feel His arms around me, He lets me know that I am NOT ALONE; that I AM loved; that I AM worthy of “that man”’s love—when it’s TIME for it; that I have so many things to learn yet, and to also share with others, while I’m still a “solitary”. Until that time comes for God to let “him” into my life, I have to learn to appreciate this time, try and enjoy the Journey, and realize that even though I am by myself right now (and for the LONGEST period of my life, I may add!), I am NEVER alone, for He is always here with me.