Now More Than Ever, Unity within the Body of Christ is Desperately Needed, And The Lord Jesus is Calling His People To Task

Look at this first picture—that is basically what I have been told today by the Spirit concerning where He’s got me right now—in a “holding pattern”. He says there’s still much to be done, and He’ll be using me and many others to get His Church reformed and revitalized, yet once more my life in the past two weeks has placed me in this state of “limbo” , and I’ve been left wondering if I did something wrong, or if not, why am I not moving forward? I know He hasn’t abandoned me, but sometimes the silence is so deafening. I wish He would just finally let me know what’s going on with my school—whether or not we’re going to be back there or just online; where I’m going to live next, and when “that man” will ever show up in my life. Plus, what about all these languages He’s thrown at me lately to learn—Biblical Greek, Hebrew and even Aramaic?! It’s bad enough I’m majoring in Latin in school right now for the past two years, but I am just now starting to put the pieces of that puzzle together as to “why” He was so insistent on me learning it. Sitting tight and “being still” is NOT my forté, but it is what is expected of me at the moment. But the Lord also puts me in these places of stillness, to speak to me and inform me of things from time to time. This is one of those times and subjects that has been impressed upon my heart that the Holy Spirit has been grieving about more and more lately.

I have the privilege every so often, to “see” with my spiritual eyes, the Lord Jesus “darkly” (1 Cor. 13:12). I had that “vision”, as some may call it, yesterday morning, as He stated to me once again, “TRUST ME”. I said to Him, “I say it every day, Lord, as I pray certain prayers, and as I see it on a picture of You as a constant reminder.” He is working on uniting the Church Body (every sect of Christianity that believes in the Trinity/Godhead), reminding us that we are to be as ONE. Too many splits have been made in the Church, and unfortunately, there is so much infighting within each sect, it is sad and disturbing to Him.

As far as Scriptural integrity goes, there will be more splits, because there are some that no longer adhere to what the word of God states; more within each church sect will fall away (2 Timothy 4:3-4). On a positive note, just within the past two months, I’ve come in contact with many brothers and sisters in the Catholic Church who said that the leaders in the last several years, have made it their task to make sure the laypeople are learning more Scripture in Church, and told to read and study God’s Word at home, and within home and prayer groups. I’ve been amazed at how much the Holy Spirit has really burst open the Church doors, and rained down His Holy Fire on them.

I’ve prayed for such a revival over 35 years ago while in the Church, but none would hear of it then; they thought me mad for saying I was “born again” as a Catholic. They said it was ok to read my Bible but it wasn’t really impressed upon us to do so. I asked too many questions that they no longer wanted to answer, and felt like they didn’t need to. Even though I was very involved in the Church, I was no longer made welcome back then, so I left. That is not what the Lord wanted to have happen to me, so He reassured me that it would not stay like that. He gave me a choice back then to either stay or leave; I could tell He wanted me to stay and “wait it out”, but the emotional damage that was done to me at the time left me scarred. I walked out and found another part of the Body of Christ to fellowship with, that not only adhered to Scripture, but had the teaching and moving of the Holy Spirit as well.

The Lord kept His promise to me—He said things would be better in time, although still needing some reform in certain areas. But allowing the Third Person of the Trinity to finally be made more known and taught about to His people, so that He could work within them, has been a major positive change I’ve been delighted to discover. To hear some Catholics say they are “born again and Spirit filled” now is remarkable. Their love for Jesus is not only a spoken thing, He is really present in their daily lives. The RCC has greatly improved in that area.

Yet, there are unfortunately some within each sect of the Body of Christ that ignored the Savior’s commandments, and have “turned from the truth” (2 Tim 4:4) altogether. Both Peter and Paul spoke of these things in their letters and we are the generation that is really seeing this come together. We MUST unite the brethren (John 17:21-23; 1 Corinthians 1:10(see pic); 12:12-13; 2 Corinthians 13:11; John 13:35; Philippians 2:2-3; Matthew 18:19-20; 23:8; Ephesians 1:10; 2:14; 4:1-6(see pic), 11-13, 16; Colossians 3:13-14; Psalm 133:1; 1 Peter 3:8; Romans 6:5; 12:4,16; Galatians 3:26,28).

We are not to concentrate on what divides us as far as the differences in how we praise and worship the Lord; He wants us to concentrate on what UNITES us, and going back to Acts and see how the brethren worked together as one back then. Why should it be any different today? To borrow loosely again from Dallas Jenkins(creator of The Chosen Series)’ quote—let the Lord Jesus deal with the feeding of the 5,000 and let US brothers and sisters in Him concentrate on bringing the loaves and fishes, work together as ONE BODY in Christ, and not bicker over the differences. The Lord is not deaf, dumb or blind to what needs to be changed and reformed in the Body; He works first with the individuals themselves, and then spreads it further within the Body. The Holy Spirit’s job IS to “convict the world concerning sin, righteousness and judgment”(John 16:8); He knows exactly who in the Body of Christ is following Him, and who isn’t.

The Holy Spirit is the SAME “still small voice”(1 Kings 19:12) that is in EVERY believer. For those who will humble themselves and “have ears to hear”(Mathew 11:15; Luke 8:8; Revelation 2:7), I say ALL of us need to go to the Father, and ask Him to point us in the direction HE wants us to go (Isaiah 55:6-7). Spend time with Jesus each and every day in prayer, conversation and studying His Word (Matthew 6:6; Romans 10:17; James 4:8). HEED the voice of the Holy Spirit who dwells within us—He is there to lead, guide, instruct, correct, chastise(let’s not forget those last two!!), comfort and encourage us (Psalm 143:10; Isaiah 30:21; Luke 12:11-12; John 14:26; 16:7-11, 13; Acts 1:8; 2:28; Romans 8:6,9,14,26-27; 1 Corinthians 2:13; 6:19; Galatians 5:25(see pic); Ephesians 1:13; 2 Peter 1:19-21). I do not put these verses in here to “show off” how much I know—I put them in here in the hope that you, the reader, will be a “Berean” and look them up for yourselves, and be edified and encouraged by His Word. I pray that we all would continue to hear His “still small voice” speaking to us every single day. Allow the Lord to teach us, transform us (Romans 12:2), no longer following the masses in their thoughts, values, and lack of common sense, and having the apparent void of God in their lives (Exodus 23:2; Eph. 4:17). Allow also for the Lord to “shatter the glass” in your life, if it is needed. Definition of that saying—“a moment of realization that changes your perception on something” (

So let the Lord lead you, of course. My “glass” was shattered about a month ago now, about the RCC, and how much they have positively changed in the last 35 years since I left, because of what happened to me within my own parish. Reform in every church body needs to be done, and still there are items in the RCC that definitely need to be addressed, but again the Lord was letting me know that He was keeping His promise to me—to make sure that those who had “ears to hear” would hear, and follow Him regardless of what man may have put down as “doctrine”. The Spirit will continue to gather His people unto Himself, lovingly correct, unify and strengthen the Body of Christ. All we must do, is listen, heed His voice, adhere to His Word, allow Him to “shatter” any glass within our lives, and unite as ONE BODY in Christ, so that we all can “be in one accord” with Him, to bring others to Christ, and be a true example of LOVE between all the brethren, speaking in Spirit and Truth. Be blessed.

Only God ALONE is GOOD; Therefore It Is Only Through HIM We Can Be Saved

I came across a Bible verse this past week that struck me; it was from Romans 11:22–“Behold therefore the GOODNESS and SEVERITY of GOD…” It’s in the pic so I won’t repeat it here. When I sat there and read it over a couple of times, it really got to me how BLUNT the Lord God is. They are strong but truthful words. The Lord God HAS to “tell it like it is” sometimes, to “get the message across” to His VERY stubborn, stiff-necked Creation. Even I, a Daughter of His, acts like a BRAT sometimes😫, and I find myself more ofthen than not these days, having to apologize🥺 for my attitude and not being grateful enough.

Yea, I can certainly be like that sometimes, especially with all that I’ve been through lately; and the best part is, HE UNDERSTANDS!🥰 But that doesn’t mean I can continue to be a brat. 🙁 I have to acknowledge my faults and weaknesses like any other person, ask for forgiveness, and move forward in my FAITH.

God has to be JUST; He cannot “wink” His eye at our sins, and just brush them off. He cannot praise one person for being all they can be for Him, suffering righteously, sacrificing their lives for Him, and then allow someone who couldn’t care less about knowing Him or His Son, OR His Word, keep on living the way they are without Just Recompense for it. God is HONEST, PURE, HOLY, REVERENT, but He IS “approachable”, believe it or not! Many people don’t think He is, and that is one of the biggest LIES of the enemy! The Lord God has MADE A WAY for us, when there SEEMED to be no way—through JESUS and the BLOOD that HE shed for us on Calvary’s Cross. NOT through Mary, NOT through saints, NOT through “good works”, NOT through serving another god especially—no way! But that doesn’t mean the RCC is not a Christian church; they do have their own traditions, of which I am fully aware, because I was fully engaged in the church, serving there as a Lector, in the Choir, as one of the worship leaders in the Charismatic folk group service, and lastly, a Eucharistic Minister. I did leave for reasons that I will NOT get into now, but I’ve had to learn to forgive and allow the Lord to deal with those who hurt me. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ, nevertheless, and I love them. I am stressing, though, that it is ONLY through Jesus we can go back to the Father (John 10:28-30; 14:6; 1 Cor. 8:6;), and the FREE GIFT of Salvation that is available to ALL that are WILLING to ASK, SEEK, and KNOCK (Matthew 7:7). I mean no disrespect to any of my Catholic brethren in the faith. We’re all still learning to work together as ONE BODY in CHRIST even after all these years.

You who have tried everything else to “satisfy” you in this life—alcohol, drugs, sex, etc., you’ve sinned against God and His commandments. Even if you considered yourself a “good person” being kind and doing good deeds, you still haven’t lived a perfectly sinless life. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US has broken at least ONE of the Ten Commandments, and besides that, we ALL have the innate SIN NATURE that was passed down to us through Adam and Eve (yea, I know🙄, it wasn’t “fair” that WE wuld have to bear that original sin in us as well, but then again, it also wasn’t “fair” that Jesus had to LEAVE HIS THRONE in Heaven, to come down HERE, live among us, and then DIE for us, just so we could have the ONLY WAY back to the Father!). Jesus took upon Himself, OUR SINS, in order to MAKE that way possible.

People think there are “many ways” to God. I’ve been reading the Bible since I was 14, and I haven’t seen anywhere in it that says there are other “roads” leading back to God. It isn’t through scarab beetles, or through several different gods, nor through intelligence, science (oh, by the way, He CREATED SCIENCE and everything else that’s out in the UNIVERSE—just saying😏), “spiritualism”, or any other false religions, cults, or even the apostate Church, can one find TRUE salvation, but in GOD ALONE, by FAITH, and NOT by works(Ephesians 2:8-9).

We’ve all sinned, and come short of the glory of God(Romans 3:23). If God never intervened, we’d all be on our way to Hell and Eternal destruction which was originally meant for Satan and the angels ONLY that also rebelled against the LORD God(Matthew 25:41; 2Peter 3:9; Rev. 20:10). Now that mankind throughout the ages has rejected the Lord and His Son Jesus, “Hell hath enlarged herself” (Isaiah 5:14), taking into her depths, those who were never meant to go there in the first place. BUT God MUST be JUST, or else He wouldn’t be God, now, would He?

Read through verses 15-24 as well in Isaiah 5. Do a word study on Hell, or a Topical study on Heaven, Hell and the Judgment of God. SEEK the Lord out; let Him KNOW that you ARE interested in getting to know Him. Don’t allow FEAR, guilt, regret, unworthiness, etc. make you think you cannot approach the Almighty!

Do NOT allow the enemy of our souls think he is in charge—he is NOT!! He has been DEFEATED! Satan’s destiny is the LAKE OF FIRE—he has NO POWER over any believers, unless WE weaken ourselves, and allow him to get to us.

As far as any of you readers who are not yet a believer in Jesus (Yeshua), it is true that Satan does have “legal ground” in your life; you don’t have the Attorney of All the Ages (1 Timothy 2:5) going to “bat” for you, since you have not ACCEPTED Jesus into your life AS your SAVIOR and LORD. He will IMMEDIATELY be present IN you the SECOND you accept Him. The Holy Spirit will ABIDE (live) in you, and teach, guide, correct, encourage, chastise, comfort, etc. you as you start to LIVE your LIFE out for HIM, and what He has willed and PURPOSED for you. Yes, there IS a PURPOSE and a PLAN for you!

This is where the new believer in Yeshua wants to SEEK His will for their lives. Jesus IS Jewish; the Jewish Feasts in the Bible play a HUGE part in all that is going on in the world, every single day. Do NOT be surprised as you learn more and more about the Lord God and His Son Jesus, how much it IS of Jewish origin. I’ll have to go into that at another time. Remember—the FIRST Christians WERE obviously JEWISH. Let that SINK IN…

And I’ll leave that right there. ACCEPT. BELIEVE. TRUST. HOPE. OBEY. LOVE. READ His Word; SEEK Him out; CALL upon the Name of the Lord (Romans 10:9-10, 13; Acts 2:21) and be SAVED. “For YOU, LORD, are GOOD, and ready to FORGIVE; and plenteous in MERCY unto ALL then that CALL UPON YOU” (Psalm 86:5). Stay well, stay safe, and be blessed, dear ones.

Learning to be Fed on and Believe in His Encouraging Word

It’s been a while since I’ve had a really decent devotional that hit me between the eyes, and it’s a major “God Wink”. The reasons for that are because I’ve been on this “trip” for a while now, and the Lord expects me to just “go with it”–all that He’s given me so far, and “live” off of that. But as I have told Him many times, His daughter needs to be “fed” and encouraged several times throughout this very l o n g Season of Waiting; I cannot just go on what He told me two years ago, and leave it at that. Yes, it’s a weakness; I admit that. I NEED to know things as they are happening from time to time, but I also have to remember that this is a FAITH WALK, and in a FAITH WALK such as this one, I cannot “see” much of anything, lest it wouldn’t be FAITH now, would it?

So as I was traveling to the school late last week to put in some work hours, I was trying to practice my singing in the car, to get ready for doing worship on Sunday. I said to the Spirit that it would be nice to have devotionals that really “hit the target”; most of them haven’t lately, or would be the same ones I’ve seen before , and wouldn’t give me the “boost” I’ve needed after all that’s happened to me recently.

Well, the Lord DELIVERED one to me that very next morning, and yes, even though I believe it’s one that I’ve seen before, it “just so happened” to be 24 hours AFTER I asked Him, so that DOES count as a “God Wink”!

It was from the Streams in the Desert devotional by L. B. Cowan; it was just the “shot in the arm” that I needed.

So here are the verses that “shine” for me, and gave me the boost of confidence, assurance and encouragement needed–the passages they used came from Mark 11:24: “When you pray, BELIEVE”, and also John 4:50: “Jesus said unto him, ‘Go your way; your son lives.’ And the man BELIEVED the word that Jesus had spoken unto him, and he went his way.”

So no matter how weak or strong our FAITH is, God meets us where we are at. He understands our weaknesses, He realizes how much we go through, for HE is the one who ALLOWS ALL that happens to us. He’s SOVEREIGN, remember? NOTHING gets by Him; all passes through His hands, and He directs it to go as HE wills, and WHEN He wills. The result of this man’s son getting healed by the Lord Jesus, without even being there, AND at the exact TIME the man had asked Jesus to help heal him, was proof enough to that whole household, that the Lord IS God, and all of them became believers. He took that step of FAITH first, and THEN the Lord responded.

When we seek Him out, in both our good times and not just our bad, He WILL respond and help us TO believe in Him. He’s not going to just hand it all to us–FAITH must be utilized; hence the verses in James 2:20-26 speaking about how faith without works is dead. But, one cannot gain wisdom, understanding, growth, knowledge, and spiritual maturity WITHOUT having accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord FIRST in their lives. THAT is the biggest “step of FAITH” one needs to take. BUT, if you don’t take that FIRST STEP, you cannot go further down that road He has paved (in advance!) for you.

Will He help you along the way to further believe, and confirm things in your heart? He sure will! He’s done it over and over again in the Scriptures. He’s done it in the lives of every single true Bible-believing person out there, including ME. WHY would He NOT do it for YOU?? After all, walking in FAITH while having a relationship with the Lord God and His Son Jesus, and KNOWING that you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you, to lead and guide you as you live out your new life in Christ, is as important as having oxygen to breathe. Without it, you would die, so I’d say building up your FAITH walk in Christ is pretty important.

READ and STUDY all these verses. You should be reading God’s Word every day. If you don’t know where to begin, start with one of the Gospels, and also go to one of the books in the Tenach–the Old Testament. Go to Genesis, or at least read a Psalm and a Proverb every day. Get to KNOW your Maker, your Redeemer, your Savior and your King, who is also (and should be!) your Best Friend. It’s better to know Him by those attributes, instead of on That Day–the Day of Judgment, having to get to immediately know Him as your JUDGE. That isn’t the Day you want to finally admit to knowing Him (see Revelation 1:7-8). FAITH works, when you take that FIRST STEP towards HIM.

Learning To Be Thankful In A Season Of Waiting

Well, this Fall semester at school has been a bit more busier than last year, and I had one more class then. I’ve been busy trying to also fit in two small part-time jobs; one brings just enough money in for gas and tolls, while the other job which I started this past month at school, will barely give me enough to pay for both my car bill and insurance. But, I am thankful for these small jobs, because they’re better than nothing. I’m tired of being unemployed.

Things have really been hard on me both financially and emotionally; I tried so hard to “convince” the Lord to allow me to have a full time job when it finally came about, while going to school. I wanted to have the job during the day, while taking classes at night, and yes, that also would have been at full-time status. He turned me down, saying that I cannot walk this WALK of FAITH in the DARK, while earning a decent paycheck, and not being totally dependent on Him for everything. It just doesn’t work that way; at least for right now with what He, the Lord, has me doing. That didn’t sit well with me, but the full time job I managed to acquire on my own with a decent paycheck, “suddenly” had no use for me anymore after a week, and the employers through my job agency decided they didn’t want or need a receptionist; they would go back to doing things the old way—answering the phones themselves. I was totally shocked and thoroughly upset, to say the least.

That put me into such a tailspin—I thought my financial problems were over; I also thought the sudden emergence of an old friend coming back into my life, was finally going to be the beginning stages of that “Season of Waiting” ending. That hope was dashed just as quickly as the job was. All that I tried to do, and the direction I was hoping to head into, was completely turned around in an instant by God. I found myself once again jobless, and my Season of Waiting was now not only being “extended”, but having recent developments confirmed to me, there was going to be an undetermined amount of time that I may have to endure. Besides, it’s more than obvious to me that not only is God truly in control of all these circumstances, but He knows what’s best to happen WHEN it should happen, and HOW it is to come about. But I’m thankful that God IS in sovereign control of it all.

Everyone comes to a point in their life when those trials are seemingly just too much to bear anymore. I hit that point just after all that happened to me a couple of months ago. School kept me busy enough, though. The Lord has had me take on not only a Minor (Holocaust and Genocide Studies), but has now confirmed to my heart that I am to go for the Master’s Degree in that once I completed my Bachelor’s. Why? I have no idea—He’s the one at the helm of my ship; He’s steering it and I’m just following his commands as He gives out the orders. I am thankful that I do know what direction my life is in going in now; I do have complete PEACE about it, yet emotionally, because I am STILL single, the loneliness going through these hard but necessary stages in my life nevertheless is exhausting.

I know it’s better to WAIT on God and also allow Him to direct me on the Path HE wants me to go, and has ordained for me.

The holidays, in these last several years being alone, have been a real struggle to go through. When you have a partner in life, and/or your own family, it’s easy to say to people like myself, “Oh, at least you have your (fill in the blank) to celebrate with; be happy you have them.” But “they” don’t take the place of that special someone who the single person has been waiting for all their adult life.

However, I know my life situation isn’t as bad as some others are. God has given me not only another chance at finding true love, He’s allowed me to go back to school, provided for all my NEEDS so far on this Journey (even though sometimes they look like they aren’t going to be met, and then miraculously, they are!), given me much clearer DIRECTION as to what to pursue in this life according to HIS will, Purpose and Plan for me, AND He’s also given me many loving and caring family and friends to share my life Journey with.

I know that His plans are being “worked out together for the good”. The many “God Winks” that I’ve encountered recently point right towards all that I’ve been waiting for; the Lord just keeps confirming all that He’s told me from the beginning—to WAIT on Him, TRUST in His timing, be grateful for all that I DO have, and don’t concentrate on what I DON’T have. Continue to be PATIENT, and walk the walk of FAITH—yes, in the DARK—and while holding His Hand, He’ll lead me to a more abundant Ephesians 3:20 life and love than I could have ever imagined having without Him. I hope you all have a blessed Thanksgiving.

What Does It Mean to “Shut up to Faith”?

A couple of months ago, while reading one of my daily devotionals, “Streams in the Desert” by L. B. Cowan, the subject (and the title that was used) was about being “Shut Up to FAITH”, citing Galatians 3:23. Sometimes, like the situation I’m STILL in right now, God “shuts us up” to FAITH, allowing us to go through certain trials, abandon old rituals and embrace the new RELATIONSHIP with Him, “put off” the ways of our “old man” that kept us in those “chains”, to “put on” the “new man” in Christ, allowing HIM to lead and guide us on a path of FREEDOM we’ve never experienced before. That FREEDOM is being CLEANSED (1John 1:9) of our SINS, no longer allowing all those addictions, temptations, negative thinking, etc. to weigh us down. Instead, God shows us lovingly the areas of our lives that need to be changed and transformed, and then leads us by the hand on a Journey of FAITH and liberty down a road that we thought was forever “blocked” by all we’ve done in our past.

However, the SURRENDERING of the god of “SELF” must be done, for any of this to work, and succeed. By the time we get to “that point”, God has already paved out the RIGHT PATH He’s longing to get us on, in order to rid us of those chains that has been wearing us down. Once we HUMBLE our WHOLE selves to Him, and allow Him to be our Savior and Lord, asking Him naturally to “lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil” that has been plaguing us, He takes us by His side, and “shuts us up” to Himself.

For every believer, it is a different amount of TIME, and a different way of doing it. It doesn’t just happen when we first come to Him, either. This devotional speaks of such men in the Bible like Moses, Paul and Silas, and John, who at one point in their journey of LIFE, God “shut them up” to change and transform their lives, and PREPARE them for either what lied ahead for them to do, or for others following them, but using them (like the Apostle John who wrote Revelation) to guide and warn others of the coming judgments God would have on His Creation, if they did not heed His Word and REPENT.  

I can relate to this part SO much right now, especially the “loss” part; December will make it THREE YEARS for me, being “shut up to FAITH”: “Dear reader, are you in some great trouble? Have you had some great disappointment, have you met some sorrow, some unspeakable loss? Are you in a HARD place? Cheer up! You are SHUT UP TO FAITH. Take your trouble the right way. COMMIT it to God…”—C.H.P.

But it really was necessary for the Lord to do this to AND for me. I had some major issues that needed to be dealt with, without having anyone else in my life around me at the time. It was best that God “sequestered” me (He just ‘planted’ that word in my mind–He does that from time to time… lol!) into a life situation that kept me from going to work in the world, being busy with this that, and not having the TIME needed to get me off my “crooked roads”, onto the PATH that He pre-destined for me long ago. Being a NANNY for about a year and a half “just so happened” to make that possible. The NEXT step was to get me back into school and start living out and using more of what I’ve been taught. There were things the Lord still wanted to “perfect” in me (Psalm 138:8), so the FRUITION of this Journey and the end of this “Season of Waiting” was still a way off.

                But, the Lord states in His Word, and I BELIEVE it to be TRUE, as it is written in Philippians 1:6 that “being confident of this very thing, that HE who began a good work in you WILL perfect it (bring it to completion) until the day of Jesus Christ”. Do NOT be surprised at all, WHEN, not if, the Lord does the same to you as you reach out to Him in FAITH, and ask Him to change and transform your life for the very PURPOSE He created you to begin with. You WILL see and hear Him in many different ways, “working all things together for good” (Romans 8:28), but it’s going to take some TIME, depending on YOUR LIFE story, and what He intended for you.

I got to the end of this devotional, and THERE it was, waiting for me—the VERY thing I’ve been crying and praying to the Lord again about in the last several days. I’ve been WAITING for such a long time, and I am longing for this “Season” to end, so here is the Lord’s sovereign power, love and might, working through this devotional to me, encouraging me one more time, to just “wait a little longer”: “Praise Him that He makes “all things work together for good” and that “God works for him that WAITS for Him” (Isaiah 64:4). There will be blessings, help and REVELATIONS of God that will come  to you that NEVER could otherwise have come; and MANY besides yourself will receive great LIGHT and blessing because you were shut up to FAITH.”—C.H.P.

                I couldn’t have said it better myself; It has once again blessed me and strengthened me to go further down this road of FAITH, while waiting for the Lord to “perfect” all that He needs to not only in me, but in “that man”, in the Journey He’s planned for us, our future, His glory, our benefit, and others’ blessings. Most importantly, is the SALVATION of many that will come about because of this work He has done in me, and the others that have been “weaved” into this Journey of mine.

We’re really all in it together, so shouldn’t we ALL be helping each other through it? This has been my way of doing it; sharing what’s going on in my LIFE, and telling others how GOOD the Lord God really is; all YOU, the reader must do, is BELIEVE that He will do the same for you, TRUST that  He has a plan for you as well (see Jeremiah 29:11), LISTEN to what He says to you through His Word, His “still small Voice” (see 1 Kings 19:11-13), etc., and above all, spend time in PRAYER and OBEY His every word. When you mess up, because you WILL, ASK for forgiveness, and “put off” that part of the “old man” that snuck up on you once again. Beat down your PAST, tell it to SHUT UP, and be gone, in the Name of Jesus and start living the LIFE God meant for you to LIVE!! Let daring bold FAITH in Him completely transform your life—be ALL that you can be in CHRIST, and WATCH what happens supernaturally in your LIFE because you DARED to WALK IN THE DARK with FAITH!!  Be Blessed–

Loneliness And Being Alone—Are They A Gift Or A Curse On This Journey?

I’ve been married twice—the first time, it was because I had a child out of wedlock, and we tried to do the “right thing” by getting married about four years into our relationship. It wasn’t the best of times, and even though I loved the fact that I was part of his big family, we were so not meant for each other. But it was hard to break away because I hated to be alone.

But this second marriage—there was I thought, something different and better about it. After all, he was a “Christian” and we had a lot in common, especially both of us being musicians. We met at church through a friend, and even though I was told over and over again by the Spirit to “WAIT, Jeannette, PLEASE wait”, I ignored those pleas. I soon found myself not only thrilled to have someone in my life again, but within TWO WEEKS, he asked me to marry him, and I said YES! And within four months to the day we met, we were married.

As crazy as that sounds, it happened just like that. The pastor of our church tried to have us wait a while, at least six months or so, until we got to know each other better. But we wouldn’t hear of it; we were determined to be with each other, for we felt that we knew what we were doing. Besides, neither one of us wanted to be ALONE anymore. He was by himself for quite some time, and so was I. We figured we’d be alright because we were Christians, and God would be happy with our current choice, rather than who we had in our past.

Husband Number Two wasn’t married before like I was. Personality-wise, he was the complete OPPOSITE of Number One. That was one of the main reasons I was attracted to him. I realize now that when the Holy Spirit told me to “WAIT”, oh my soul—I should have LISTENED!! There were many issues with Husband Number Two that slowly but surely came out over the next several years. We didn’t have any children, and now I am grateful for that. But out of those thirteen years with him, the latter SIX were some of the loneliest times I had out of married life.

More and more it proved to be I made yet another wrong life choice. Four years before the marriage finally ended, he left me, and for the next three months of my life, it was horrific. As bad as our marriage was at that point, I didn’t want it to end. All the arguments and fights, all the nights one of us would be sleeping on the couch (most of the time it was me—he wasn’t giving up the bed), I couldn’t stand the fact that I just may be ALL ALONE AGAIN. That thought haunted me every single day.

We finally got back together after those three months, but the next four years was more of the same—living as roommates, hardly any intimate time, and even though we moved a couple of times hoping the new scenery and areas would help our marriage, the fact of the matter was, WE weren’t meant to be together either.

Once again, God proved Himself right—if He wasn’t the One ordaining the marriage to begin with, it wasn’t going to last. Once again, I failed. Once again, I found myself alone, at least for a short time, and then I fell into my bad habit again of having someone else to fill the “loneliness” gap for another two years, until finally, the Lord put the “brakes” on back in 2016. Through natural and supernatural means (He is the Revealer of secrets—see Daniel 2:27-28, 47)—when He’s ready to tell us those secrets, He “lifts the veil”, and puts the pieces of the puzzle together—at least enough of it for the time, so we can understand what He’s trying to tell us. For me, I was reminded about WHY the Spirit tried to me make me WAIT on Him back in 2000, and NOT be with anyone else. I needed that time for GROWTH in Him, and in myself. I never gave myself a break since I was 20 years old; I always either dated, or was involved in a long term relationship.

But what the Lord wanted me to do almost three years ago, was to me, very frightening. Being ALONE, by myself, having NO man to go out to dinner with, to be intimate with (but intimacy doesn’t just mean jumping into bed with each other, folks!)—after all, I AM a human; I do desire LOVE, and romance. I am a VERY passionate person, and to be without someone all this time has been sometimes excruciating!! But after what the Lord explained to me just WHO that person was—the “clues” He gave to me years ago, that I just ignored, and never gave another thought to—the Lord was TRYING TO HELP me not suffer any more with having the wrong guy in my life, and I basically blew Him off!

“What the HECK was I thinking?!”, I said to Him after He not only finally divulged the “mystery” of what He told me back in 2000, but He said that no matter what, I needed TIME to heal, and to start living the LIFE He had intended me to live. He didn’t just give me the gifts of music and writing to push aside and never use again; He wanted me not just to survive in this world, but to THRIVE, and FLOURISH. But—the “deal” was, it had to be on HIS terms (that means, according to HIS Word), and in HIS timing of it all.

One of the “terms” was, just what I am doing now—telling others of the very costly LIFE mistakes I made, and hoping that by telling others, especially the younger generation, they will HEED my warnings, and not repeat what I’ve done!

Hence the other part of the “terms” He set forth—to write them down not only in my Journal, and a Blog, but a BOOK. Actually, a series of books, so others can learn from my mistakes, and make better decisions based on the Bible, and having a PERSONAL relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

As far as the music portion goes, He led me to a church where I am currently on the Worship Team, and the Worship Leader and I are also in another band that sings and plays classic rock and roll, just for fun. That’s a “God Wink” story for another time.

Being married was always HIS plan for my life—choosing who I wanted, ended up being MY plan, not His. I have “reaped” what I’ve sown all those years ago. The loneliness I’ve felt came in waves these past few years on this “Season of Waiting” Journey; sometimes I feel like I’m going to crash and drown. But then the Lord “shows up”, and as if I can feel His arms around me, He lets me know that I am NOT ALONE; that I AM loved; that I AM worthy of “that man”’s love—when it’s TIME for it; that I have so many things to learn yet, and to also share with others, while I’m still a “solitary”. Until that time comes for God to let “him” into my life, I have to learn to appreciate this time, try and enjoy the Journey, and realize that even though I am by myself right now (and for the LONGEST period of my life, I may add!), I am NEVER alone, for He is always here with me.


The BLB for today recites Proverbs 3:6– “In

ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall

direct your paths.” I know that one in Hebrew, both

verse 5 and 6. This has been a HUGE “life verse”

for me on this Journey.

It’s evident in my life, that when I have allowed the

Lord God to DIRECT my path, THE PATH He

wants me on and to STAY ON, that is exactly what

he has been doing! Anything that He originally

didn’t want to happen, has “faded” out sooner or

later. Any PERSON He didn’t want in my life any

longer, any JOB He didn’t approve of me having,

any PLACE He didn’t want me to LIVE, it got “shut

down” one way or another—it’s truly amazing how

much has transpired in my life, just in the past four

or five MONTHS, let alone these almost three

years since I’ve started this Journey.

God doesn’t lead us down wrong paths; WE have

done that to ourselves! HE didn’t set us up with the

wrong person in our lives that some of us eventually

married—that was OUR doing!

Oh, there are some that would say we HAVE to fail

at some things, in order to learn how to handle

other (and possibly much harder) things in this life;

I agree, but there are HUGE “ticket items” like the

MAN or WOMAN that God pre-destined and

ordained for us—yes, that “special one” that HE

picked out, that perfect “piece” of the puzzle that’s

been missing all of our lives.

I tried to jam in those puzzle pieces that “looked”

like that right missing piece, but I FAILED

miserably, and lost 30+ years of my life either

married to or living with the wrong person.

Hard lessons have been learned, and since the time

I SURRENDERED over my ENTIRE life, including

the RELATIONSHIP part to the Lord Jesus, He

has offered me what He called a “final opportunity”

in “getting it done right”, BUT the catch was, it

HAD to be done HIS way and in HIS timing, no

matter how LONG it was going to take (and of

course,I got no “hints” on that), and how

HARD it was going to be. He told me right from the

beginning of my new Journey, that I would be

entering a “Season of WAITING”, and that it was up

to ME to agree (or not), to wait an INDEFINITE

amount of time, until He worked on MY life.

The Holy Spirit said, “The man of MY own

choosing” (His exact words!) was also going to

have to not only be “worked” on, but that “he” also

had quite a bit of “LIFE lessons” to go through as

well, so it was going to be a while. He said though,

He needed to start with ME, and although I had no

issues about that back then, the reason why He

said it that way, I just understood just a few weeks

ago. It’s all about God’s Word being LITERALLY

worked out and proven in my life.

There is a verse in the Bible that says,

“Judgment must begin at the house of God…”

You’ll find that in 1 Peter 4:17. The reason I’m

sharing this verse, is because the Lord wanted to

start with ME—that’s exactly what the Spirit said

to me. He was putting His Word into “action” by

starting to get me off those “crooked roads” (see

Isaiah 45:2-4), and on that straight, RIGHT PATH

He destined for me long ago. Luke 3:4-6 mentions

it as well, by the Prophet John the Baptist. He

mentions Isaiah 40:1-4, and how the CROOKED

ways will become STRAIGHT, and the rough roads


That is exactly what happened to me, as

soon as I gave everything over to the Lord back in

December 2016. Even though I agreed to Him

“taking over” those troubled areas in my life,

especially my relationships, it wasn’t until the

Journey “officially” started almost two months later

when I “sensed” a greater PEACE like I never had


We as humans LOVE to be “in control” of whatever

we can, especially our lives, once we are “adults”. I

wasn’t good at “adulting” back then, and even

though I considered myself a true believer of Jesus

Christ and His Word, I STILL managed to mess up

horribly. Thankfully, He knew just “when” to STOP

all the madness, hear my cries for help, and show

me in the “natural” AND the “supernatural” (YES,

the SPIRITUAL REALM does exist!!), what needed

to be “tweaked” in my life, in order to get me on

that PATH He intended for me.

I didn’t have to feel like I was just “wandering

around” without knowing what I should be doing

anymore. I had gifts, talents, skills and abilities that

He wanted me to USE for Him and His glory, but

also, so that I could get enjoyment and a sense of

VISION and DIRECTION in my life, heading me

finally, on that right path that is NOW leading me to

a GOAL. I’m living it out daily, as I WALK in the

DARK with Him, holding tightly to His Hand as He

leads me down toward my dreams, goals, and

desires, that He wanted me to have all along. It just

had to be done the RIGHT way, and not so I get all

the accolades for it, but that the Lord God gets the

GLORY due His Name in the end.

So my life has definitely “straightened out” since

December of 2016. I don’t have all my desires yet

—the “man” I’m waiting for, that the Lord HAS

promised and destined to me, is “still in the works”.

I’ve yet to finish my first book draft, but then again,

if you told me over two years ago, that I would

actually be writing a book, I would have thought

you lost your mind—why would God choose ME to

do such a thing? After all the mistakes I’ve made in

my relationships?? Wouldn’t He be better off

choosing someone who “did it right” the first time,

and NOT have TWO divorces behind them??

Nevertheless, this is what HE chose for me to do,

even though He originally didn’t want me to go

through all that failure and heartache.

Here’s a powerful Psalm that’s worth memorizing—it’s from Psalm 40:1-5, CSB

version (caps are my emphasis):

“I waited patiently for the Lord, and He turned to

me and heard my CRY for HELP. He brought me up

from a desolate pit, out of the muddy clay, and set

my feet upon a ROCK (Jesus!), making my STEPS

secure. He put a NEW SONG in my mouth, a HYMN

of praise to our God. Many will SEE and FEAR,

and they will TRUST in the LORD. How happy is

anyone who has put HIS TRUST IN THE LORD

and has not turned to the proud or to those who

run after LIES!

Lord my God, You have done many things—your

wonderous works and your plans for us; NONE can

compare with YOU. If I were to REPORT and

SPEAK of them (as I do!), they are MORE than

can be told.”

That entire Psalm is awesome. But it is amazing

how these first five verses really tell the story of

how I was, and now who I truly am in Him. I always

was His; but NOW, He has shown me that I CAN use

what He’s given me—the gift of writing, singing,

playing instruments, learning several different

languages, etc.—all for Him and His glory, and to

let others know just how GOOD, GRACIOUS,

LOVING and FORGIVING He is, even with a

Daughter like me, who “messed up”.

It’s never too late to get off those “crooked paths”

and have Him LEAD you onto that “RIGHT

PATH”—it’s waiting for you right now!! Even though

that “man” whom HE chose for my life, isn’t quite in

it YET, I know without a doubt one day, he WILL be.

One of the best things about following the Lord

God—He KEEPS HIS PROMISES. Even though

we’re known to break ours, He NEVER leaves us or

forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:6), and He NEVER

gives up on us! He lets us know that as long as WE

don’t give up, we WILL “reap a harvest” (see 1

Corinthians 9:24), and that there IS a HOPE and a

FUTURE (see Jeremiah 29:11) for ALL those who

SEEK Him and ask for His help.

It’s there to grab onto, so DO IT, don’t just say you’re going to, and

don’t let FEAR stop you!!! For 2 Timothy 1:7 says,

“For God has not given us a spirit of FEAR (that’s

from the evil one!!!), BUT of POWER and of LOVE

and of a SOUND MIND.” We CAN have these

things—TRUE LOVE, primarily in the Lord Jesus

Christ; but He also directs those like me to the

“one” He chose for me; A Spirit of POWER—that

is the HOLY SPIRIT that will LIVE inside of EVERY

Believer of Christ—you will have the LIVING GOD

dwelling in you, and you can speak to Him each and

every day asking Him to LEAD and GUIDE you in

all that you need and want to do in this LIFE. And

WHO out there DOESN’T want a SOUND MIND??

To have PEACE, that “peace that passes ALL

understanding”, that GUARDS my HEART and

MIND—IN Christ Jesus (see Philippians 4:7)—who

wouldn’t want more of a peaceful life, going in the

RIGHT DIRECTION, and not wasting valuable time,

money, love, etc.?? I DO! That’s why I turned it all

over to Him, and I haven’t regretted it since. My

relationship has only gotten closer to the Lord, and

better with others as well.

The spiritual realm is beyond any human

comprehension, and there aren’t words (like the

Apostle John was saying in the book of Revelation)

good enough to describe what it really means to

WALK in the SPIRIT, and no longer in the flesh(see

Galatians 5:16). You just have to decide for

yourself, to finally acknowledge Him as Lord and

Savior of your LIFE. Once you DO, He WILL

“direct your path”, lead you into all TRUTH (see

John 16:13), and show you things you NEVER

thought possible before (see Jeremiah 33:3; Psalm

25:14; Deuteronomy 29:29; Daniel 2:22)!! Here’s

Amos 3:7– “Surely the Lord GOD does nothing

unless He reveals His secret counsel to His

servants the prophets.”

He WILL reveal things to you; you only have to BELIEVE, OBEY, and

TRUST in Him. Those ghost hunting shows have

nothing on the Lord God and the POWER He

possesses, and what He gives His people who

WHOLEHEARTEDLY serve Him. That’s a drop in

the bucket compared to the vast OCEANS of

supernatural power and ability the Lord God has,

and INDWELLS in each of His children to use for

the Plan and Purpose He has called and chosen

them for.

Go ahead—-I DARE you to WALK that walk of

FAITH!! Learn to “see” what cannot be seen by

human eyes, and “hear” what cannot be heard with

human ears! Take that STEP of FAITH today, and

give it ALL to GOD, and WATCH what He does with

your LIFE!! It will NEVER be the same AGAIN!!

Be blessed.

These Walls WILL Be Broken Down, For Nothing Is Impossible With God

I’m getting to a certain point in my Journey, where “something” has to happen—a “breakthrough” with either “that man”, and whatever God is doing in his life at this moment, and/or my financial situation (which I don’t see THAT improving anytime soon, especially what just happened with my recent so-called “temp to hire” job—the Lord obviously didn’t want me to “have my cake and eat it too”—I was told I have to WALK the walk of FAITH “in the DARK”, in order to honestly write a book about FAITH; I can’t do BOTH at the same time☹).

It seems I always have some sort of “wall of Jericho” up, that doesn’t allow me to go any further; sometimes I truly believe it is the Lord that allows those “walls” to be there for our LIFE lessons, and growth, and sometimes WE allowed certain “walls” to get in our way of furthering our relationship with Him, and His Purpose for our lives. As far as school goes, I just had to change my concentration from World Languages, which I had 88% completed requirements, to LATIN and Romance Languages, which just put me back at only 50% completed. That was the Lord’s doing, not mine. Whatever the reason is (Isaiah 55:8-9!!) He wants me to study so much Latin, He is not ready to divulge it at this time in my life, WHY He wants me to take it; but here I am, now having to go not only though the Intermediate level, but next year, into the Advanced level until I graduate. Lucky me…🙄😣😕

PLEASE take my advice: When the Lord insists on you doing something that you really don’t want to do, but you KNOW it’s part of His will—-just DO IT!! It’ll save you a bunch of wasted time, effort and heartache!

✝✨Getting back to my current LIFE situation, of course, as the Lord would have it, there “just so happens to be” a devotional today relating to my plight (guess that would account for another “God Wink” then, 😉✡️🌈right?). The Hagee Ministries devotional is titled, “The Impossible Made Possible”, citing Hebrews 11:30 as the verse — “BY FAITH the walls of Jericho fell down after they were encircled for seven days.” It starts off, “The daunting walls of Jericho stood between the children of Israel and the Promised Land. IF NOT FOR GOD, those walls were their mission impossible.” It goes on to say that even though there seems to be “walls of Jericho” that are impossible for us to deal with ALONE, God is there with His almighty POWER, waiting for the RIGHT MOMENT (His impeccable TIMING of it all) to knock them down. He IS the God “who makes ALL things Possible” (Mark 10:27; Matthew 19:26; Luke 1:37); all WE must do, is BELIEVE, and WAIT for those PROMISES to come to pass.

That’s where I am right now; WAITING for just about THREE YEARS, going through a lot of heartache, pain, tests, waiting for “that man” to FINALLY come into my life as the Lord Himself PROMISED and confirmed to me through all those “God Winks”, fighting off the flesh (which is NOT easy to do!!)and temptations in the meantime, keeping my FOCUS on Christ, praying for others, dealing with the Spiritual Warfare when it “pops up” (it’ll be in full force within the month—I can SENSE it already!)—and ALL this, on top of living out my life day to day, going to school FULL TIME, practicing in a band, being part of a church Worship Team as well, staying in touch with family, etc. Oh, and let’s not forget about the writing of this VERY BLOG, and the BOOKS that I am to be working on as well to be published!

I have QUITE a few “Jerichos” that I must deal with on a daily basis. But one thing’s for sure —the Lord is not expecting me to take care of them on my own! He IS here, helping and encouraging me through His Word, the daily devotionals, the perfect sermons I “just so happen” to find in my notifications box that deal with what I’m going through, brothers and sisters in the Lord that pray for me, songs, etc. So as bad and as intimidating as those “walls” in my life look, and as discouraging as they may be from time to time, I KNOW that they WILL all fall and crumble, because my FAITH will NOT quit, my stance is SURE in Christ and the PROMISES He’s made to me—it is written that “He is NOT a man that should lie, nor the son of man that He should repent: Hath He said, and shall He not do it? And Hath He spoken, and shall He not make it good?” (Numbers 23:19)

Here’s the CATCH, though, to being successful in knocking those walls down and KEEPING them down—you must FINISH what you started! There’s no “backpedaling” in God’s Kingdom! I started this “FAITH walk Journey” back in December 2016, and I WILL see it to the END, if it takes me ANOTHER three years to accomplish it!! Whatever the Lord has planned and purposed for my life, and “his” life, we have to just stick with it until He has laid out the VICTORY for us, for it is by Christ ALONE, and no one else, that we can have the victory over ANY wall of Jericho in our lives.

So as I continue to WALK in the DARK with FAITH, why don’t you join me as well? Tell God of your personal “walls of Jericho” that are being too difficult to break down by yourself, and allow HIM to work IN you, the FAITH, HOPE, and STRENGTH needed to get those walls to come crashing down! It’s going to take some time, so I’m telling you upfront to most likely NOT expect it done in a day, a week, a month, or maybe even a year or longer—it all depends on what those “walls” are, and what and WHO else, is involved. But rest assured—if you allow the Lord God to MOVE in your life; if you SURRENDER yourself WHOLLY unto Him, I GUARANTEE by HIS WORD, those walls will be GONE in the Name of Jesus, and I’m betting you too, will forever be changed and transformed into the BEST version of “YOU” that you could ever have been!❤✝.

Giving it all over to God in FAITH requires GUTS—do you have the guts to do it? Do you REALLY want to see VICTORY in your life once and for all?? Are you tired of dealing with the same problems day in and day out?? Then GIVE IT ALL OVER TO JESUS! Day by day, STEP by STEP, as you spend time with the Lord God in daily PRAYER and conversation, you will SEE the results, as long as you learn to BELIEVE, TRUST, LISTEN, and OBEY His Word. It’s got to be ALL HIS way, not “half and half”; no “part-time” Christianity, part-time in the world. If you truly want your LIFE changed for GOOD, then start to SERVE the living GOD who IS GOOD, Holy, Just, Merciful, Gracious, FORGIVING, and WILLING to SET YOU FREE from those WALLS that have imprisoned and restrained you all these years! John 3:36 says (and it is JESUS HIMSELF saying it!), “If the SON sets you free, you WILL be free indeed.”

One last thing—remember, God is a SPIRIT (John 4:24), and if you take Jesus in as YOUR Lord and Savior, the SPIRIT—that is, the HOLY SPIRIT, the THIRD Person of the Godhead, WILL reside WITHIN YOU (see John chapters 14, 15 and 16 to start, for further explanation)—1 Corinthians 3:16 says (the apostle Paul speaking to believers), “Do you not know that YOU are a TEMPLE of GOD, and that the Spirit of God DWELLS in you?” And “…where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM” (see 2 Corinthians 3:17). If that doesn’t give you a PUSH to go ahead and finally get your LIFE that is QUICKLY passing us by, IN ORDER, I don’t know what else I can say.

If you tried everything else to knock those “walls” down in your life, and nothing else has helped, why NOT try the Lord God?? He’s WAITING for you to “Call unto Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know” (Jeremiah 33:3). CRY OUT to the Lord, as it is written to do in Psalms 77:1– “I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me.” That’s all you need to do, so DO IT, and finally start to SEE the things I see, and HEAR the things I hear from God Almighty. He wants ALL of us to SEEK Him out (see 2 Chronicles 7:14), HUMBLE ourselves before Him, ASK for forgiveness of our sins, and He WILL FORGIVE, and HEAL us, and make us HIS OWN❤✝.

I’ll finally end with this—FAITH is a MAJOR component in walking with God; why should He show you all His wonders, when you really don’t even want to give Him the time of day?? BUT, if you ARE willing to give God an opportunity to totally transform your LIFE, then know from NOW ON, you will no longer walk by the desires of your FLESH—selfishness, pride, lust, stubbornness, self-will, etc. —ALL of that will have to be abandoned! You will be taken on the path of FAITH, TRUST and OBEDIENCE, just like me, and be led by His mighty Hand, in the DARK, on a specific ROAD meant just for YOU. There the Lord will lead and guide you in the WAY you should go (Psalm 32:8), and while you are WALKING in the DARK with Him, your FAITH will slowly but surely GROW.

It’s inevitable, in the Kingdom of God, that one MUST have FAITH in Him, to be able to finally SEE those things which most people do NOT “see” in this world. If you stick with Him, once again, I GUARANTEE by HIS WORD, the BIBLE, you WILL see your walls coming down, and you WILL have VICTORY over ALL your “Jerichos”. Hebrews 11:6 is one of my LIFE verses on this Journey—“And without FAITH it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes TO Him, must BELIEVE that He EXISTS and that He REWARDS those who EARNESTLY seek Him.” Be blessed.

“The Changing of the Seasons”, Pt 2

I will continue where I left off this past week, and describe to you the different “seasons” of my life. I kept it as simple as I could, and highlighted some areas that we’ve all have mostly gone through at one time or another.

BUT first, I will say this right now, and it stands for anything else I’ve already written and will write in the future–I am NOT here to ever put down, insult, or belittle anyone that I’ve been involved with in past relationships, friendships, workplaces, churches, etc.–wherever I’ve met people, how long or short they were in my life, etc. These people were at one point or another part of my life. We’ve moved on with our lives, and that’s ok. But I have to make mention of them in the most simple way, not divulging any specifics, for obvious reasons. I’m just using part of my LIFE story to describe certain times, areas in my life, and circumstances that’s happened to me, to get my point across to the reader. Some of these people I still have in my life to this day; most I do not. But I’ve also learned to LIVE , LET GO and FORGIVE, because honestly, in the end, that’s the best course of action we can take, in order TO move forward in our lives.

Ok, enough of that–here is the second part of my blog:

Let’s count together the amount of “seasons” I’ve had, shall we? My FIRST🌱was my childhood—it was really awesome, by the way; I had good parents, and was given a good home to live in, and great family to be around. Being adopted into a decent family was like hitting the lottery; the Lord saw to it for one reason or another, to put me with certain family members that eventually would be close to me until this very day. My SECOND🌿was going from a teenager to an adult; that was rough, since my mom just didn’t want to lose the “little girl” she was raising—typical parental issues🙄of not wanting to “let go”. This is also the time I was dating on and off, and had my first two real long-term relationships as well. I actually was encouraged by my mother, to “play the field”—just go out and date, and not get serious with anyone. That obviously for the most part, was ignored. 🙄😑 My THIRD🌵season, was my relationship with my first husband. All those years (and also those beyond that, since we did have a child together) seemed to follow me into every facet of my life, because I became a mother to my daughter Ashley during that relationship. My FOURTH🍃season, was in between my first and second husbands, which lasted about two years. I struggled so much to listen to the Lord, who back THEN was trying to get me on that RIGHT PATH, and to WAIT on Him for the right man; I just wouldn’t do it still, even after all the hell I put myself through with my first husband; I still was too stubborn, lazy and prideful to give everything I needed to, over to the Lord to bring it back to where HE intended it to be in my life. In that short amount of time to supposedly be AWAY from men and concentrating on the Lord, I ended up being involved in one way or another, three men during that time.😞😒🙁 It just made my life filled with more emotional turmoil and regrets.

So, those unnecessary “seasons” kept coming— the FIFTH🌲one with my second husband, which lasted for technically 13 years, although we lost a few months in there from the break-up. 🌾The SIXTH one was when I came back to NJ, after letting my second husband know I was getting a divorce from him. Unfortunately, this “season” of getting myself in order mentally and emotionally did NOT last long at all, for I found myself emotionally engaged in yet another “season”😳😫🍂 (SEVENTH)which should NEVER have happened, not only because technically I was still married, but it was like going from the frying pan back into the fire!!🤮 Sometimes, I really DIDN’T think before I acted, and didn’t consider the other hearts involved. Thankfully, that “season” lasted but several weeks.😣😞

STILL I managed to get involved ONCE AGAIN, in another relationship—bringing on the EIGHTH 🍁 “season” which also still happened for most of the relationship while I was still not fully divorced, but also this one the Lord ALLOWED to be the 📚“bookend” 📚to my “third” season’s relationship. This one lasted just a hair under TWO YEARS, and many major heartaches occurred that never should have been dealt with; but I managed to not only be with this person, but allowed myself to live with him as well, and soon became involved in taking care of someone who was an raging alcoholic, cutter and who had a major bout of depression, along with other issues and fears that kept him in a spiritual “prison” most of his adult life. He at least had the sense to go back to church, and I wholeheartedly supported that, but sooner or later it had to come to an end for us; he took his things and left, and I’ve no idea what has happened to him since. THAT right there😕, was the INTERVENTION of the Lord, allowing him to leave, for it was my prayer for over a year after we got together, and seeing all the horror this brought upon himself through alcohol and myself, dealing with much demonic infestation through the intimacy that occurred. 😫

😭Once AGAIN, after he left, I had to ask for forgiveness (which I started doing right
after a few months being with him) from the Lord, and since that time, to this writing, I’ve learned to be CELIBATE—yes, four years now and counting. Even though there was technically a NINTH “season”🌴, which was termed a “long-distance” relationship, it was only for about six months, and between meeting only two times within that time frame, and a handful of calls (mostly all texting) to each other from time to time, all that so-called relationship did, was ready me for what was to be the SEASON that introduced “that man” (that God had Predestined and Ordained for me)to me. I had NO clue what was about to happen! I wasn’t even caring at all about meeting someone else; I was emotionally drained, and crying out to God for help. What God had planned for me, came out of seemingly nowhere, for I never would have expected meeting “that man” in the way, time, or place that I did!

Season TEN ushered him in, meeting him at work, getting to know him as a friend, through many discussions and lunches together, talking about all that we’ve every really wanted in life and love, and as soon as the connection was made between us; as soon as the chemistry was felt and recognized to finally be REAL and TRUE, it was over. The Lord did exactly what HE intended to do—have us MEET, get to know one another, keep it at the “friendly” level, and had it end before we both could end up ruining things for OUR FUTURE together! That “season” lasted about 7 months, and it was over and GONE…for NOW.

The Lord had OTHER plans for me, a special “Season of Waiting” as I’ve come to call it, that I’ve never allowed myself to have with Him—JUST Him and I, walking together through this life as an adult, and having to learn and re-learn some things that I missed along the way, through my stubbornness, blindness, pride, laziness, emotional turmoils, and all those demonic strongholds that kept me from having the FREEDOM to “just be ME” for a time. The Lord granted me the ELEVENTH “season”, of which I am STILL in right now, and has lasted for almost THREE YEARS now; technically, the third year comes as of December, 2019. I needed this “season” so bad, to cleanse me of all those impurities in my life I allowed to come in; to WASH away so many lost years; to PURIFY my heart, and make me start to serve the Lord WHOLEHEARTEDLY, once He took me “off the shelf” and placed be BACK on the RIGHT PATH He intended for me to be this whole time. I had to be DELIVERED of all the demonic strongholds that I allowed in me (and YES, as a Christian you CAN have demonic strongholds! Don’t fool yourself into thinking you cannot!), and as far as my FINANCES went, I finally had control of them as well, for the Lord allowed me to take a class at my church to learn exactly what to do with my money, once I was earning enough to make a budget, tithe, pay my bills, and save for my FUTURE life with “that man”. 🥰;❤✝

Spiritually, I feel like I’m 1000% better than I was back in December of 2016. The “load” that is off my mind and heart, is worth my weight in gold! The FREEDOM of being ME is beyond anything I could ever have imagined, and being able to LIVE and MOVE and HAVE MY BEING(Acts 17:28), using the gifts, talents, skills and abilities for the Lord and His Glory and Purpose in my life, is what it’s all been about! I finally “got” it—it wasn’t about ME; it wasn’t about my love life, or how to make enough money to survive, or just to get married, have a few kids, go to work every day, visit the family, go on vacations, grow old, see our kids grow up, have grandchildren come into our lives, and then eventually, go HOME and meet our Maker. No; it’s MUCH MORE than that; we are God’s WORKMANSHIP, created in Christ Jesus to do GOOD WORKS, which God PREPARED in ADVANCE for us TO do.”(Ephesians 2:10) He HAD a Purpose and Plan for us WAY before the worlds were even formed!! Jeremiah 29:11 SAYS that we have a FUTURE and a HOPE in HIM!

We weren’t just created to be stuck on this planet, left alone to fend for ourselves, make the most of it that we can on our own, and then one day, die and it’s all over. No—it was meant to be MUCH MORE than that, and I found out in THIS VERY SEASON that I’ve been living , MY PURPOSE for why God made me in the FIRST place—because HE LOVED ME!!! He loves ALL of His Creation, but He also knows most of His Creation will never even recognize or acknowledge Him for WHO He is, and WHAT He can do for them, IF they HUMBLED themselves and give their lives over to Him WHOLEHEARTEDLY, as I finally did! My LIFE is NOT the same as it was—it is SO much better, and so much more fulfilling!!! I am still WAITING on the Lord for “that man”, but oh the progress in THAT area just in the last year—amazing!! The Lord God WILL share with each of you His “secrets” (Deut. 29:29), ONLY IF you let Him INTO your LIFE!! It’s got to be a 100% INVOLVEMENT between you and Him, or else it’s NOT going to work!!

This “season” I’m currently in, has been the BEST one YET, and I DO mean, “YET”!!☺😄🥰 I KNOW without a doubt, that the NEXT “season” of my life, which technically will be my TWELFTH season (🧐🤨🤔Hmmm…12, huh?? that number is pretty significant in the Bible…🤨🙂 😏lol…), will USHER in “that man” once and for ALL, finally, never to be MOVED, removed, taken, stolen, etc. from me! He has been specifically made and designed by the Lord for ME, and I for HIM. Allow God to bring YOU into the “Season” you need to be in, in order to get right with Him, and start LIVING the LIFE He’s called you to live!

Be blessed–

The Changing of the “Seasons” that God Allows Us to Go Through, to Come (Back) to Him With a Whole Heart (Pt.1)

Seasons change; they have a beginning and an “ending” to them. I put quotes around the word “ending”, because in a way, it never really ends. It’s a continuing cycle in this LIFE; I’ve had many “seasons” before, but rarely did I pay attention to them or what was going on around me. My head was in a “spiritual” and emotional fog–spiritual because I wasn’t being as astute as I should have been, having learned much about the spiritual realm and the Spiritual Warfare that is constantly going on in this world.

I wanted to go through LIFE not having to care so much about the spiritual, especially after having learned what I did; it was partly too scary, and also seemed like too much work and responsibility to take on at such a young age as I was back then. I was 19 when the Lord first called me to that appointment; I was again in my late thirties and married a second time when I started to pay more serious attention to it. The Lord allowed me to see many things, both good and evil, in order for me to realize just how much we ALL are in a war, fighting for our very souls each and every day. Yet, I just didn’t get up early enough to pray, nor did I fervently pray throughout the day as I have now been doing for the past three years. Oh, I prayed and I certainly took the time out to teach my daughter to pray, and also prayed with her when she was a child. But I became very much involved in my own marital issues, and didn’t pay enough attention to what was going on with my own daughter as she went into her teens, our relationship, and little by little I allowed the enemy to wedge in enough space to weaken me to the point of just not caring about what was going on spiritually, and not having the energy to care anymore.

My marriage was crumbling; my second husband left me during the first quarter of 2009–he told me point blank that he no longer loved me. I saw it coming, but I didn’t think he had it in him to leave. Financially, it was impossible; we were always hurting for money, because even though by that marriage, I was getting better how to handle the finances, my husband wasn’t on board with me, and so no money was being saved or tithed correctly. Sooner or later, between all that happening, my daughter was getting ready to graduate from high school (she was engaged to a nice young man who knew he was to be a pastor), and her breaking up with her fiancé a year after her graduation to be with someone who was a far cry from the type of man I prayed for her to be with, AND walking away from the FAITH that she knew since she was an infant, our family was finally in ruins.

My then-husband and I got back together a few months after the break-up, only because I begged him to come back; the next four years in that VERY long season of my LIFE, were hell. Even though we moved back to NJ for a time, in order to be closer to our families, thinking that would help us get closer to each other again, it didn’t help. Within a year and a half, we were moving out of NJ again, not realizing until after we moved back in April 2010, just how expensive everything got, and there was no way we were going to afford to buy anything there. So, once again, we packed up and moved ourselves over to Pennsylvania in October 2011, and after a little over a year and a half passed, the marriage took a nose dive, and I finally walked away in June 2013, giving my second husband the divorce he had wanted since technically the third year of our marriage, when he first mentioned it to me.

THAT was a LONG “season”–thirteen years worth of my life, that went down the tubes. None of this would have happened, if I JUST listened to the Lord God back nearing the end of 1999, when He kept telling me to WAIT. He had chosen a man for me long ago, before the worlds were even formed, but I did not heed His Voice, and the result of my disobedience was thirteen years of heartache, sorrow, financial difficulties, a broken marriage, and most importantly, my very bruised relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. As much as I loved being married, I wasn’t with the man God intended for me to be with! So the Lord had no “choice” but to allow the natural things like the breakdown of the marriage to happen, and eventually, the divorce, because if it isn’t sovereignly predestined and ordained by the Lord, then it’s NOT going to flourish; it WILL end up “dying” out (see Matthew 15:13).

I can guarantee that if we all just STOPPED for a minute and took a good look at where we are in our lives right now, MOST of us are in “seasons” we should NEVER have been in. Again, there is the natural “circle of LIFE” that plays out, and the seasons that go with it–we are born, we grow up, we become adults, we go to work (most of us), we earn a living (whether it’s the right or wrong way these days), we get older, our body starts to break down, we get sick and/or disabled in one thing or another, and sooner or later, we die. Most people during that cycle, get married; many have children, or adopt or take in foster children into their lives. That could add many blessings or more tension, depending on each life situation, and mainly, whether or not those marriages or unions between those partners should have happened in the first place.

I’m going to stop right here, and allow all this to “sink in”, and I’ll be back with the second part of this, counting through the amount of “seasons” I had since I’ve was born, up until the present day. This was a long one, but chock full of real life issues that we’ve all at one time or another, went through similarly.

I hope you all will stick with me on this one–it may just open some spiritual eyes out there, and hopefully, some hearts to allow God to start working on those that know they need to finally hand it all over to Him, so He can stop the craziness of all those wrong “seasons” happening in their lives. Then He can change and transform them into the person He had purposed for them to be, since the Beginning of TIME.

Be blessed–