“It Is The Lord; Let Him Do What Seems Good To Him.”

I know it’s been almost three months since I’ve blogged; between being sick for most of my Winter Break from school, having to move to a temporary location until I was able to move to where I am now(not of my doing, but obviously of the Lord’s); getting into the Spring Semester, the Italy trip 14 of us were looking forward to going to was cancelled; my hopes and dreams shattered AGAIN while waiting for “that man” God has for me, and now to top it all off–the Coronavirus hitting us hard all over the world, and bringing us to almost a complete STOP at the moment, in order to combat it and get it under control, the sum of all of this is: “It is the LORD; Let HIM do what seems good to Him in His eyes.” That’s from 1 Samuel 3:18. Eli was saying that to Samuel, after Samuel had to tell him some very unsettling news from the Lord. All Eli could do, was accept it, and deal with it.

I (and many of the world’s population at this time) find myself doing the same thing–having to accept it and deal with it. Most people probably aren’t quoting this Scripture, but since it WAS brought to my “attention” this morning, during my prayers while literally crying out to the Lord of my YET present circumstances, this was His “answer” to me.

To say my heart breaks over and over again in the last couple of months–the words are not doing the pain justice; there is a HUGE gaping hollow feeling I have inside of me now, worse than ever before. ALL I’ve waited for, ALL that I’ve prayed and hoped for; ALL that I was being TOLD to WAIT ON HIM for–ALL of it, has been DASHED to pieces AGAIN. And YET as it says in 1 Samuel 3:18, “It is the Lord; let Him do what seems good to Him”, somehow needs to bring me to a place of PEACE and stillness before the Lord, no matter where my wretched human emotions want to take me.

In the realm of all that’s been happening to me lately, it “seemed good” to God to allow me some “insight” on what’s been going on with “that man”. What I’ve learned and now have to endure for an even longer spell (how long, only the Lord Himself knows), is excruciating. All I had to learn while BEING a child of God, and having the Lord chastise, correct and re-direct how I handled my mental and emotional issues, apparently “he” has to learn the “hard way” as well, as per the Spirit. It’s the Lord’s “best way” of dealing with what needs to be “delivered out of him”, in order to MAKE him the man of God he was meant to be. In other words, I’ve hit yet ANOTHER “detour” on this “walk in the DARK with FAITH”.

The PATH that I prayed to have been “cleared” so there wouldn’t be any more delays in “our” lives; the “wrong LIFE choices” that hopefully neither one of us would make any more, so that we COULD move forward and live out the life we always wanted to, having the right partner finally in our lives, etc.–well, that sounded all well and good to ME, but that’s not the way the LORD was going to handle it. He had other ways to bring “him” to his knees, and to a saving relationship with Him. This is ALL part of God’s “Permissible Will” and His TIMING, and yet it IS also His “Sovereign” will. Confusing? Welcome to MY world of living by FAITH…ugh…

I’ve had to “Let GO and Let GOD”, which seems to be the “theme” these past few months, even MORE than I ever had to before. The Spirit DID whisper to my heart just prior to the end of January–“TRUST ME FULLY”; I thought I already was! NOW I know what He meant by that; all that was being done to me in the past few years, had to “strengthen” me to DEAL with what I’ve been hit with at the present time.

This is ALL in God’s Hands–I AM aware of that; it’s not “dead in the water” although it sure SEEMS like it is. My HEART is more BROKEN now than ever, isn’t it(And mind you, I know this is not “all about me”–I write these things so some of you can “connect” with what’s possibly going on similarly in your lives). I must not allow my emotions to get ahead of me, like they used to in the past, but I sure could use a hug now and then…being a “solitary” at my age is horrible…

So let the Lord God do “what seems good in His eyes” to do; in the meantime, I need to concentrate on getting my studies done for this semester that has been decimated by this CORONAVIRUS. It has basically STOPPED the WORLD at this point; all countries involved are working to halt everyone from coming into contact with each other as little as possible, in order to SLOW the spread of it. It’s a smart move, but as you know there are some that are going to do what THEY want to do, and have NO ONE tell them otherwise! That’s the beauty of FREE WILL, and how we humans get to screw up our lives even MORE than they are already!!! Ugh!!!

Schools are shut down for the next couple of weeks; most businesses that are not considered to have “essential employees” like the EMS/Fire/Police/grocery stores/gas stations, etc. are asked to stay home and “hunker down”, and WAIT this out. Us college students will most likely turn to “distance learning” online, in order to continue our studies, at least I was told by my school, until April 5th at this point; depending on what’s going on with the spread of the virus, it may be extended…so we’ll just WAIT and see…

We WERE supposed to go to Italy this week; I was supposed to be eating pizza from Napoli, seeing the sites of Rome, and enjoying gelato with my Latin professor and SPQR classmates; that all was to help me get through what my broken heart has been enduring, but obviously that has been cancelled. Let’s just throw in the zinger I found out this morning, of my boy Tom Brady finally making a decision to “shop elsewhere” for a team this coming football season. “Forever a Patriot”–well, I guess not. But I “wish him well” in all his endeavors. Hmm, I seem to be saying that a lot recently…

In closing, I’ll remark on the Turning Point for today; once again, while I cry out to the Lord, I KNOW He hears me, for THIS was truly an answer and a REMINDER of just WHO is in charge when all “hell” seems to be breaking loose in our lives. The TITLE of today’s devotional was: “SOVEREIGN OVER ALL”, citing Daniel 7:27. He was making mention of how God’s kingdom is an “EVERLASTING KINGDOM, and ALL DOMINIONS (physical AND spiritual!) shall serve and obey Him.” This was definitely a “God Wink” for me today, for no matter how the circumstances may SEEM at the present moment, I am (we are) to FOCUS on what God has told us is the “expected END”, or the “outcome” of everything. For me, it’s what He personally said about my “Season of Waiting”, especially in regards to “that man” and what HE has to do TO him, in order to bring him to his KNEES, and make him into that man of God the Lord pre-destined him to be. I was also reminded this morning how Jonah was thrown off a ship and into a whale’s belly, only to be thrown up on a shore, and then brought to his “senses” about going where the LORD wanted him to go. In the end, God ALWAYS gets HIS WAY, for HIS WAY is His “FINAL SAY” in each and every matter, no matter where our “free will” may want to take us, which is more than likely, in the OPPOSITE direction.

God “turns the hearts of kings” (see Proverbs 21:1-9). At the end of today’s TP devotional, Daniel 2:21 was quoted–“God SETS UP kings and REMOVES kings.” Again, just as it’s been repeated enough here, He is SOVEREIGN. He does rule over all. At the end of the Lord’s Prayer, in Matthew 6:13, “For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.” This immediately brought PEACE again into my heart, reading this devotional. The peace has been there, but the pain and heartache “covers” it up so much lately, that the Spirit regularly needs to “bring it to the surface”, in order for me to “see” and feel it again, as I should.

This is the reason why we believers need to go to the Lord God EVERY SINGLE DAY, because there will always be something (like this Coronavirus) or someone that rocks our world, and we need to continue to be reminded that NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, GOD IS IN CONTROL; He moves the hearts of kings; HE does what seems right in HIS eyes; HE KNOWS the best OUTCOME for all of us, even IF we sit here and say we HATE what’s going on, and HOW He’s doing it! Nevertheless, He DOES have our BEST INTERESTS at heart in it all. He KNOWS the END from the BEGINNING, and will “perfect that” which concerns us all (Psalm 138:8). He will also “complete it until the day of Jesus Christ”(Phil. 1:6).

FOCUS on the OUTCOME; let the Lord do what “SEEMS RIGHT”; don’t focus on the present circumstances, but “forgetting those things which are behind (you), and REACHING FORWARD to what is ahead”(Phil. 3:13). This is NOT an easy task; it take months, if not YEARS, for many of us believers to deal with certain life situations, depending on what they are; there is no special “light switch” that we can shut the pain et al, “off” in our lives in one fell swoop. God allows all that pain and misery, hopelessness and heartache, to bring us closer to HIM when these painful moments hit us. Remember Job and his friends? At first they were quiet, just listening to him, and “being there” for him. After a while, they started to try and “counsel” him, but all they did was make his situation all the more upsetting, by making it seem it was HIS fault, or him not being faithful or strong enough to handle all that GOD, mind you, threw at him. Thankfully, he kept his FOCUS on GOD rather than what they were saying…it was a teachable moment for them as well.

As “dark” as this WALK of FAITH has gotten for me lately, I need to continue to walk His path of LIGHT, no matter what is thrown my way; I suggest you do the same. We can all get stronger in Him through His Word and also get closer to the Lord God and Jesus through all these and any other troubling times that come our way.

“The LORD is my LIGHT and my SALVATION, whom shall I fear? The LORD is the STRENGTH of my life; of WHOM shall I be afraid?”(Psalm 27:1). If you do NOT know Him as yet, may I be so bold as to tell you, GET to KNOW Jesus as your SAVIOR “now”, not as your JUDGE “then”. KNOWING Him and “knowing OF” Him are TWO entirely different things. Be blessed.

Tis NOT The Season To Be Afflicted–Why Now, Lord?

When it is ever a good season to be afflicted? Most of us wouldn’t want to be afflicted at all, whether it be financial, health related, relational, or otherwise. But the reality in life is that in one way or another, all of us are afflicted with some type of pain, issue, nagging problem, etc. that just doesn’t seem to go away. Sometimes, it could come as a combination of those things, and if not addressed or there’s no way of taking care of those issues, they can start to pile up and before you know it, you’re not dealing with just one or two afflictions, but many.

That is how my life has been lately, especially in the past few years. It’s not that I haven’t done anything to take care of those issues; on the contrary–I’ve done all that I can humanly do by myself to make for a better life, and rid myself of these afflictions, one by one. But for whatever reason that He’s not explaining Himself as to WHY I have to continue to deal with such afflictions, the Lord pointed out to me through a devotional this morning, that when HE’S ready to, He’ll deliver me out of them.

Well, let’s see–there’s the sudden living arrangements that had to ONCE AGAIN be addressed; my money situation is at an all-time low; my bills are not being paid because the new job I just started in mid-November can’t allow me to catch up on those bills; I just got an upper respiratory infection so bad that my focal seizures decided to pay me a visit, and stay for the duration of the sickness and then some; the seizures disrupt everything I try to do–I cannot function with half my body deciding it doesn’t want to work, and the pain from the tremors in the beginning of the sickness had me crying out to God to make them stop; it’s CHRISTMAS, and I don’t have a DOLLAR to my name to even buy a present for my grandson, daughter or son-in-law, or anyone else that has been good to me this year, and I would have like to show them my thanks by getting them something nice. It’s just not meant to be.

I should say with that list of things, along with my car issues (brakes are in dire need of changing, and I also need two new tires; will need an oil change in about another 1500 miles or so), OH–and let’s not forget about my sciatica (I’m going to PT for that, thank God) which with EVERY cough (and sneeze!) from this recent URI, it feels like needles being jammed into the side of my left leg!!! Ugh!! The focal seizures (and the pain and weakness that goes along with it) decide what I can and cannot do until they are completely gone (and yes, that’s even with being on medicine), and my patience is at my wit’s end with them!! Even while trying to type this all out, it’s been a struggle, because one side of my body doesn’t want to cooperate with the other. Brain trauma is a lovely thing…NOT!!

So, do you think I can relate to this particular verse right now?? I should think so. BUT, somehow, the Lord does get me through it all. Why He allows it to begin with? Well, because the rain falls on the Just and the Unjust, and while I was in excruciating pain Wednesday night from the tremors, crying out to God asking Him to please STOP the pain, all I hear in my spirit is, “TAKE THE MEDICATION”, which I hate to do, and was hoping I didn’t need any more of it as of Tuesday night. Then He topped it off with this–“JOB RECEIVED BOILS AND HAD TO DEAL WITH THEM, AND HE DID NOTHING WRONG.” Oh my goodness–how can I say anything further?? How can I continue to complain and cry out when I know darn well there are others that go through much worse than what I’m facing?

I have the Lord on my side; others don’t because they choose not to for the most part. As much pain as it is to go through all of this right now, I know I’ll have another place to live as of the end of January; a friend is opening up their doors for me to live there. I do have a part time job as a student worker at my college that will hopefully bring in about 20 hours worth of work each week. It doesn’t pay much, but at least it’s something, and I’m grateful for it. The focal seizures will eventually go away as the URI continues to clear up. I’m not sure how I’m going to take care of my car issues as yet; and my two payments that I’m behind right now in my car, I pray somehow that can be rectified. I just made a Go Fund Me page a day ago, but hardly anyone is paying attention to it. Everyone congratulated me a few days ago on my 4.0 GPA , but suddenly there’s “crickets” on Facebook and Instagram when it comes to helping me out financially with a donation; but then again, it’s Christmas, and everyone is probably tapped out as well. My luck.

But again, somehow, God will make a way when there seems to be no way. HOW?? I have NO idea. I’m doing all that I can and have the strength and resources to do, and will reach out even to the state and see how they can help. I’m divorced, alone, will be turning 55 in February, full time in college, a 4.0 GPA working my butt off to do all that I can to make my life better. But humanly, it’s not enough, so Divine intervention is sorely needed and appreciated. Prayers are wonderful, but I also need a physical manifestation of these problems getting solved. I’m WAITING for the second part of Psalm 34:19 to come to FRUITION. I know it will, but not in my time; only in HIS will it happen. Until then, I have to BE STILL, and know that He is God, and He’ll work it out when He’s ready to.

What Does It Mean to “Shut up to Faith”?

A couple of months ago, while reading one of my daily devotionals, “Streams in the Desert” by L. B. Cowan, the subject (and the title that was used) was about being “Shut Up to FAITH”, citing Galatians 3:23. Sometimes, like the situation I’m STILL in right now, God “shuts us up” to FAITH, allowing us to go through certain trials, abandon old rituals and embrace the new RELATIONSHIP with Him, “put off” the ways of our “old man” that kept us in those “chains”, to “put on” the “new man” in Christ, allowing HIM to lead and guide us on a path of FREEDOM we’ve never experienced before. That FREEDOM is being CLEANSED (1John 1:9) of our SINS, no longer allowing all those addictions, temptations, negative thinking, etc. to weigh us down. Instead, God shows us lovingly the areas of our lives that need to be changed and transformed, and then leads us by the hand on a Journey of FAITH and liberty down a road that we thought was forever “blocked” by all we’ve done in our past.

However, the SURRENDERING of the god of “SELF” must be done, for any of this to work, and succeed. By the time we get to “that point”, God has already paved out the RIGHT PATH He’s longing to get us on, in order to rid us of those chains that has been wearing us down. Once we HUMBLE our WHOLE selves to Him, and allow Him to be our Savior and Lord, asking Him naturally to “lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil” that has been plaguing us, He takes us by His side, and “shuts us up” to Himself.

For every believer, it is a different amount of TIME, and a different way of doing it. It doesn’t just happen when we first come to Him, either. This devotional speaks of such men in the Bible like Moses, Paul and Silas, and John, who at one point in their journey of LIFE, God “shut them up” to change and transform their lives, and PREPARE them for either what lied ahead for them to do, or for others following them, but using them (like the Apostle John who wrote Revelation) to guide and warn others of the coming judgments God would have on His Creation, if they did not heed His Word and REPENT.  

I can relate to this part SO much right now, especially the “loss” part; December will make it THREE YEARS for me, being “shut up to FAITH”: “Dear reader, are you in some great trouble? Have you had some great disappointment, have you met some sorrow, some unspeakable loss? Are you in a HARD place? Cheer up! You are SHUT UP TO FAITH. Take your trouble the right way. COMMIT it to God…”—C.H.P.

But it really was necessary for the Lord to do this to AND for me. I had some major issues that needed to be dealt with, without having anyone else in my life around me at the time. It was best that God “sequestered” me (He just ‘planted’ that word in my mind–He does that from time to time… lol!) into a life situation that kept me from going to work in the world, being busy with this that, and not having the TIME needed to get me off my “crooked roads”, onto the PATH that He pre-destined for me long ago. Being a NANNY for about a year and a half “just so happened” to make that possible. The NEXT step was to get me back into school and start living out and using more of what I’ve been taught. There were things the Lord still wanted to “perfect” in me (Psalm 138:8), so the FRUITION of this Journey and the end of this “Season of Waiting” was still a way off.

                But, the Lord states in His Word, and I BELIEVE it to be TRUE, as it is written in Philippians 1:6 that “being confident of this very thing, that HE who began a good work in you WILL perfect it (bring it to completion) until the day of Jesus Christ”. Do NOT be surprised at all, WHEN, not if, the Lord does the same to you as you reach out to Him in FAITH, and ask Him to change and transform your life for the very PURPOSE He created you to begin with. You WILL see and hear Him in many different ways, “working all things together for good” (Romans 8:28), but it’s going to take some TIME, depending on YOUR LIFE story, and what He intended for you.

I got to the end of this devotional, and THERE it was, waiting for me—the VERY thing I’ve been crying and praying to the Lord again about in the last several days. I’ve been WAITING for such a long time, and I am longing for this “Season” to end, so here is the Lord’s sovereign power, love and might, working through this devotional to me, encouraging me one more time, to just “wait a little longer”: “Praise Him that He makes “all things work together for good” and that “God works for him that WAITS for Him” (Isaiah 64:4). There will be blessings, help and REVELATIONS of God that will come  to you that NEVER could otherwise have come; and MANY besides yourself will receive great LIGHT and blessing because you were shut up to FAITH.”—C.H.P.

                I couldn’t have said it better myself; It has once again blessed me and strengthened me to go further down this road of FAITH, while waiting for the Lord to “perfect” all that He needs to not only in me, but in “that man”, in the Journey He’s planned for us, our future, His glory, our benefit, and others’ blessings. Most importantly, is the SALVATION of many that will come about because of this work He has done in me, and the others that have been “weaved” into this Journey of mine.

We’re really all in it together, so shouldn’t we ALL be helping each other through it? This has been my way of doing it; sharing what’s going on in my LIFE, and telling others how GOOD the Lord God really is; all YOU, the reader must do, is BELIEVE that He will do the same for you, TRUST that  He has a plan for you as well (see Jeremiah 29:11), LISTEN to what He says to you through His Word, His “still small Voice” (see 1 Kings 19:11-13), etc., and above all, spend time in PRAYER and OBEY His every word. When you mess up, because you WILL, ASK for forgiveness, and “put off” that part of the “old man” that snuck up on you once again. Beat down your PAST, tell it to SHUT UP, and be gone, in the Name of Jesus and start living the LIFE God meant for you to LIVE!! Let daring bold FAITH in Him completely transform your life—be ALL that you can be in CHRIST, and WATCH what happens supernaturally in your LIFE because you DARED to WALK IN THE DARK with FAITH!!  Be Blessed–