Since this is only my second entry, and you really have no clue as to who I am and what I’m about, I will “fill you in” bit by bit of what’s been going on with me in the last two years; that way you’ll get a good idea of where I’m going with this. Since LIFE wanted to hit me between the eyes with some congestive chest cold-cough/dizziness these past few days, and all I wanted to do was sleep, on my school BREAK no less, I’ve fallen “behind” in what I planned to do with these precious few days off, and that’s why I haven’t written again until today.
This what I normally do–I wake up on most days, around 4:30 am; this week, being sick, there was NO CHANCE of that happening! I make my breakfast, get my coffee, sit down at the computer, and start to do my devotionals, and then comment on any number of them (I usually have about six or so I read when I have the time to get to them all)–the ones that “stand out” as far as what my FAITH walk is about. I’ll be commenting on them as well, since they are part of this whole “Journey”, and God has continually used them for instruction, correction, encouragement and growth. I’ll go ahead and just use one of them that stood out to me today, to give you a little “taste” of what I do with them, and how I let them apply to my life, and what I wrote in my journal about it:
“The BLB (Blue Letter Bible daily devotional) “hits the spot” today, with 2 Corinthians 4:16-18. That speaks of how even though our outward man perishes, our inner man is renewed day by day. We also have learned to not look at the things we can SEE, but those things which are NOT seen, for what IS seen is temporary, but the things NOT seen, are ETERNAL. So the daily life circumstances that get to us–namely my situation of once again, NOT having a job, still going to school full time, and having to depend on God for pretty much EVERYTHING, is been the most challenging thing I’ve ever experienced! BUT, He hasn’t let me down once! I’ve been taken cared of every single day; I’ve not gone without a meal, AND despite some “last minute” scenarios, so far my NEEDS (car being paid, car ins., gas, tolls, food, phone bill, etc.) are being met. I cannot say it’s been a really pleasant experience, because honestly, I’d rather not live this way, but it IS the way of FAITH, and it is what God has been doing in my life these past two plus years. It’s only got more intense since June of last year, when I noticed again that the jobs I should have been easily getting interviews for, didn’t happen. You could have heard crickets in the background! I knew God was up to something, and before I knew it, it wasn’t any longer a full-time job He was preparing me for; I was to apply for college FULL-TIME this past September, and by answered prayers, confirming over and over again that is exactly what He wanted me to do (financial aid came through via loans and grants for me to go!), here I am, back at school, a World Language major, picking up where I left off when I got my Associate’s degree. What the Lord is going to have me do with it, I’ve no idea. That’s for Him to know, and for me to find out…
Yea–it’s like that. Ask anyone in the military what their orders are, and they’ll tell you that they receive the immediate orders to do whatever it is they are carried out to do, and then they must WAIT upon further orders. That’s it; no one moves forward, until the next orders are given. THAT is how God works.”
It’s a TOTAL surrender of your life, every day, in every situation. Right now, I have no job again. I was filling in for someone at the church/school, since the seasonal retail job didn’t keep us around like they said they would back in December. So from late January, to about a week ago, I finally was getting a paycheck again. And now that’s over. When I went to the Lord in prayer about it a few days ago, He said, “YOU CAN’T WRITE A BOOK ABOUT WALKING IN THE DARK WITH FAITH, UNLESS YOU’RE LITERALLY DOING THAT (every day).” Makes sense, right? If you never heard about George Mueller, you should look him up. He lived a life of faith that is astounding. How that man depended on God for DAILY items–milk, bread, money, etc., and God delivered every time!! After I read a couple of his books, and also a diary of his, I was amazed at just how much of a similar pattern was happening in my life. That’s another reason why God “just so happened” to have me read those books of his; He was preparing me for a similar venture in my life–to trust God like never before, each and every day, every STEP of the way. Oh, by the way, the day the Holy Spirit spoke that word to my heart, the Days Of Praise devotional “just so happened” to have Phil. 4:19 as their verse for the day–“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Enough said. My Commander in Chief has spoken.He’s got my back; all I have to do is continue to TRUST Him, and take Him at His Word, even if I don’t “see” it all in front of me, or know what’s around the corner. He does. That’s good enough for me.