I’m a bit down, for the usual reasons. It just hit me about a little while ago. I have felt it more in the last few weeks, but I kind of stuffed it inside of me, and with all that I had going on, I had no time to cry…until now.
As hard as I try to be patient, upbeat and enthusiastic to what prayerfully will come my way, not knowing what the future holds, what had already happened to me in the recent past, sends me into a tailspin again. The enemy is trying to make me more depressed. I am fighting it every day, but sometimes it starts to “leak out” and it finally did this afternoon.
**Switching gears for a moment here, but it blends in nicely**—I actually started a new Professional Page on Facebook, using my full name that one day, I hope to legally have. The page is under Jeannette (my adopted name) Elizabeth (my original birth name) Geist (my biological father’s last name = “spirit”) Marcelli (my adopted maiden name). The Page is something that the Lord wanted me to do, so I did it. I would have rather waited until my first book was actually published, but I got that “holy nudge” from Him a few days ago, so I got it done.
I know it is going to be a very “slow go” with people acknowledging and regularly visiting it, but you know what? That’s ok. It is all in God’s timing. My part, as Charles Stanley would say, is “to OBEY God, and leave the consequences to Him.”
I wanted to share today’s Streams in the Desert devotional in this blog post. It definitely hit home hard; another “God Wink”. The verse that was quoted is Isaiah 30:18– “And therefore will the LORD wait, that He may be gracious unto you…blessed are all they that wait for Him.”
For as long as we are waiting upon God, He’s been waiting longer for us; that is, to get things right, to get to the point in our lives where He CAN bless us with whatever it was we’ve been waiting for. Of course the writer sneaks in “it will give us unspeakable confidence that our waiting cannot be in vain.” That was the answer to the question I posed to Him late last week— “Lord, please remind me that all that I have done so far on this Journey, is not in vain”—while praying to the Lord about my ongoing “Season of Waiting”.
How about this part where the writer states, “…that even after I come and wait upon Him, He does NOT give the help I seek, but waits on longer and longer?”
The Lord obviously has way more patience than any of us would have in a thousand lifetimes. He knows not to “gather the fruit till it is ripe”. Whether we wait with expectancy and enthusiasm, or hold on for what seems like an eternity(but is it really?), not wanting it to be a moment longer, nevertheless, the Lord knows how long it needs be.
I end with the writer’s last thoughts on the subject, which encouraged me further: “Be assured that if God waits longer than you could wish, it is only to make the blessing doubly precious. God waited four thousand years, till the fullness of time, ere He sent His Son. Our times are in His Hands; He will avenge His elect speedily. He will make haste for our help, and not delay one hour too long.” —-Andrew Murray
Read your post. I need time to absorb what you have written to understand what is affecting you. Are you having self-doubts about the path you are on?
No, not at all. I’m just being real and transparent about my feelings, that’s all. Elijah almost had a nervous breakdown himself and depression because of Jezebel’s threats against him (1Kings 19). I know the Lord takes care of me; I just like to let others know that even a strong person like myself has those moments where the enemy strikes, but I know not to let him get to me. And sometimes, all it really is, is that I just have to cry it out, and give it to the Lord, whatever is bothering me. What you’re reading, is what you’ll experience in my books…😉…but thank you, Angie, for caring!