One of the hardest things to do as a servant of God, is to wait everything out for the completion of His plans in the coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
I’ve been told over and over again by the Holy Spirit, especially in these past few months to exercise restraint, patience, and to continue to trust in what the Lord needs to do before His return.
The reason why it has taken thousands of years for everything to play out according to God‘s will, and His Word, is because as humans we would not be able to handle it if it happened any quicker.
However, a few of us who are really spiritually paying attention, have discerned that the signs of the times not only are increasing, but we can sense the days now being shortened as we get closer to the Time of the End.
🙏❤️HOLD ON, dear one. The Lord knows how much we are struggling here. He knows every time we break down and cry. He knows that we are slowly losing our patience here with all the evil that is increasing around us. He does realize how frustrating it is! ✨Remember✨, the Lord Jesus went through similar situations while He lived here, especially in those last few years of His life here.
We just have to be patient and trust Him a little while longer before the Time of the End, then finally, His return. Everything will be played out according to what has been written.
No matter what evil schemes mankind and the demonic realm comes up with, the Lord is always thousands of steps ahead of them!!
Stay faithful, beloved! Let God‘s written ✡️📖✝️Word strengthen, comfort, and embolden you in these last days! Maranatha, Yeshua!😭🙏❤️✝️
It is amazing how when I had the talk with the Lord yesterday morning, and He stated to me (it was sometime after 4am at that point, I think) that “There will be more martyrs for the Faith”–pertaining to the coming Last Days and all that is yet to be fulfilled in His Word (Daniel, Revelation, Joel, etc.), I immediately just assumed He was mentioning sometime in the future. Ok, no big deal, I knew that from what was written in the Scriptures.
I just assumed as I was getting more sleepy and wanted to go back to sleep yesterday morning (after being up for the past hour or so), that what the LORD was telling me, was WAY in the future; it pretty much always has been, when He has told me things pertaining to futuristic events.
I got up, went to the bathroom, and stayed up thinking about what he said until almost 5am, and then finally went back to sleep. It IS common knowledge to a believer that has read the ✡️📖✝️WHOLE counsel of God, that IN the coming Days of the Tribulation–whenever that will be–there WILL be MANY souls who will give up their lives for Christ, and NOT partake in the Anti Christ’s demonic schemes.
MANY martyrs of the Faith will go Home to the Lord Jesus during that horrific Time here on Earth. I was well aware of that biblical FACT.
BUT–WHO KNEW less than 12 HOURS LATER, what the Lord said to me earlier that morning, was about to come to pass. THAT has NEVER happened to me before–something prophetic told to me and within 24 HOURS–it happened!!
The LORD God in all His mysterious wisdom, allowed the life of CHARLIE KIRK to be taken from us, assassinated because he was a faithful servant of God, someone who loved and cared enough about this nation to do all that he did in his short lifespan here, and spoke the Word of God in TRUTH and in LOVE, to those who either longed to hear what he said, while others hated him for it.
I’ve been crying and somewhat still in shock and numb since this all happened. I KNEW it was DEMONIC–I KNEW the Lord’s hand was all over this–it always is–NOTHING gets past Him, but HE DID ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN.
I knew Charlie’s assassination was not all for nought, that is was not done in vain; the LORD God my Father HAD a good REASON and PURPOSE for allowing such a horrific thing to happen.
I said to the LORD–“Abba, You NEED to allow us to have the resolve to do something about this–fight back with Your Word, and PLEASE EXPOSE the EVIL behind all of this!!” LET THE PEOPLE of this nation KNOW what DEMONIC entities are behind all the evil here! GIVE us the STRENGTH and DETERMINATION to fight back, but in the way YOU want us to!!”😭🙏
THEN, just before I was turning in last night, I saw this post from Trey Smith. I would look at it again this morning, to find out what Trey was talking about. See the link above from YouTube.
IT was about the DEMONIC entities that ARE over this nation, and how we need to pray spiritual warfare prayers to FIGHT BACK against them.
IT WAS about CHARLIE KIRK, and how a young man who loved the Lord Jesus and this nation, was targeted for his faith, and assassinated right before our eyes.
The demons think they’ve won. They took out a major servant of God “out”–so they think.
What they REALLY did (and this is why the LORD God allowed it happen)–is make the REST OF US who already have been in this VERY 👿SUPERNATURAL 🛡️SPIRITUAL ⚔️WARFARE–become even MORE resolved to 😡NEVER BACK DOWN, no MATTER what the evil ones throw at us–
And ALSO–I am VERY sure, that there are THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS–possibly even a million or two people–that just became more ARDENT FOLLOWERS of ✝️Christ, BECAUSE of what happened to Charlie Kirk yesterday.
⚔️WE MUST TAKE BACK OUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHTS AND PRIVILEGES to speak out our ✡️📖✝️faith, SHOW IT any way we can, PREACH the WORD anytime, anywhere, and not let ANYONE shut us down for it!!
ALSO–those who HATE ✡️GOD, the Lord JESUS ✝️CHRIST, and HIS 📖WORD–and want to either silence us because they are atheists, humanists, satanists and/or worse yet, worship and serve another god/goddess (Allah/Ba’al/Baphomet/Apollyon/Chemosh/Molech, etc. Athena/Diana/Minerva/Ishtar/Innana/Venus, etc.)—I 😡have words for them-
YOU WILL NOT SILENCE US!! YOU WILL NOT STRIP US OF OUR RESOLVE! YOU WILL NOT BREAK US!! YOU WILL NOT TAKE FROM US, THE VERY SPIRIT OF THE LIVING MOST ✡️HIGH GOD AND HIS SON!! YOU WILL BOW DOWN YOUR KNEES TO THE LORD JESUS ✝️CHRIST; YOU WILL CALL📖 HIM “LORD”; YOU WILL END UP IN THE ETERNAL 🔥FIRES–EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WHO TURNED HIS BACK ON THE MOST HIGH, AND SOUGHT TO DESTROY THE VERY HUMAN BEINGS HE MADE “IN HIS IMAGE”!!
YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST, DEMONIC 👿ENTITIES!! YOU ALREADY HAVE LOST, HA SATAN AND REBELLIOUS ANGELS!!! YOU ARE DESTINED FOR THE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥ETERNAL FIRES, FOREVER AND EVER!
Charlie Kirk was DESTINED to a certain 🙏PATH the LORD God laid out for him long ago. HE CHOSE to walk that Path, praise God. He became the man of God the Lord Jesus PRAYED for him to be (see John 17); Jesus prayed for ALL of us to walk a certain Path for Him, giving us certain callings and purpose to LIVE FOR ✡️📖✝️HIM and daily LIVE OUT His Word.
Charlie did that. EVEN Carlos Acutis did that, and at such a precious young age, and thank God that he did–many a Gen Z’er and Millennial have now TWO young men to look up to–although they were both sinners, and KNEW they needed a Savior; BUT–they followed the Path the LORD God set out for them IN FAITH and trusting Him, not knowing how it would end. They fought a good fight, they finished their individual race here on Earth.
They are NOW where I so long😭💔to be–at HOME with the LORD God, His Son, and all our Family of brothers and sisters in the Faith that have gone before us.
ALL we need to do, beloved, is to WALK the PATH the the LORD GOD destined for us. 🙏📖ASK, SEEK, and KNOCK–the LORD Jesus WILL direct you on that Path, to do whatever it is HE called you to do. Charlie and Carlos (just two examples)–two brave men who loved their Lord (both with essentially😃😄 the SAME NAME–I just realized that!) found out what THEIR individual PATHS were to be, and WALKED those Paths, until the Lord JESUS called them to their heavenly✨HOME.
YOU who are the Lord’s–GO OUT AND DO THE SAME!!! DO NOT ALLOW the evil in this world to put FEAR in you!!! DO NOT allow ANY human being to STOP you from answering the CALL of GOD in YOUR LIFE!!
MY individual CALLING has been a tough one–1)in the office of a Prophet, to “inform and warn” everyone of what is written in His ✡️📖✝️Word–preaching the WHOLE counsel of God, and 2)Dealing with Spiritual Warfare, the supernatural spiritual realm–both the angelic, demonic, and everything in between. NO ONE in their 😫right mind would choose such paths. I 🙁most certainly didn’t, but that’s why I “Jonahed” out of there 😞for a time, and then 🙏totally SURRENDERED to the Lord back in December of 2016, and it has been a WILD RIDE of on this Path of FAITH and TRUST in Him ever since.
BUT–the LORD JESUS has been walking right beside me, holding my hand as I am “Walking in the Dark with FAITH”–FAITH in HIM and HIS📖 WORD that 🙏upholds me, strengthens me, encourages ❤️me, emboldens ❤️🔥me, comforts ❤️🩹me, and makes me the 🛡️⚔️WARRIOR I AM IN ✡️📖✝️HIM, TODAY.
🛡️⚔️BE THE WARRIOR OF GOD THAT HE HAS CALLED YOU TO BE.
BE A CHARLIE. BE A CARLOS. BE a JOAN of ARC. BE a BENEDICT. BE a JOHN VIANNEY. BE a PADRE PIO. Be a GEMMA. BE A MARY. BE A PAUL. BE A STEPHEN. BE AN ANDREW and PETER and MATTHEW and ELIJAH, and JEREMIAH, and SAMUEL, and AMOS, and DAVID, and MOSES, etc.
❤️🔥🙏BE WHO THE LORD GOD CALLED YOU TO BE. And do not let ANYONE ever tell you otherwise, who or what you are. YOU are a CHILD of the LIVING GOD. YOU, beloved, have PURPOSE. YOU are ❤️LOVED by the MOST HIGH GOD. YOUR LIFE COUNTS!
NOW GO–be that man or woman of God that HE DESTINED for you to be, in JESUS’ MIGHTY NAME.
This is my store on Zazzle store—“Faith In The Dark”. I know I have shared this a few times in the past couple of weeks, but with more new items being in the store, and surprisingly, there are quite a few people out there that still don’t know I even have a store on Zazzle, I will continue to share this.
I’m still waiting for AMAZON to work out the kinks (for my URL) in trying to share my Author’s 📚Page, but until then you could just go on Amazon, and look my name up or the title of my 📚books (“Walking in the Dark With FAITH”), to see the four books I currently have on there for sale.
It’s amazing how different this link shares between the social media platforms… this time I’m sharing it from the ZAZZLE app on my phone.
PLEASE go and see all the newer items I have just added; there will be more to come! THANK ❤️YOU to the few people who have either visited my store, and have also FOLLOWED ME on Zazzle as well.
You can do the same at my Author’s page on Amazon—in fact, I would be most grateful if you would click on the follow button!! It would mean so much to me! And if you either have purchased a book from me in the past, or do purchase one now, I would also truly appreciate you leaving a written review.
The idea of being a “starving artist was never part of what I chose for myself. Who honestly would want to go through seven years of college and grad work in a seminary like I just have, write dozens and dozens of papers, work hard to get the grades I did and the degrees I was awarded, and then end up not even being able to get a job at places where I have almost the exact qualifications and experience the companies/ministries/schools are looking for?
I was told seven years ago by an HR manager that even though my resume showed, I had the qualifications to do the job I applied for at Rider College, unfortunately the associate degree wouldn’t be enough— these days, she said, I definitely would need to have at least a bachelor’s degree in order to get any good paying job. So September 2018 I started on this college journey again, and I haven’t stopped until this June, 2025. I have tried several times over the past few years in Pennsylvania and now the almost 2 years I’ve been back in New Jersey, to get at least a part-time job that has something to do with all the hard work I put into at school.
The LORD OPENS AND CLOSES (or KEEPS those doors closed) the “doors 🚪of opportunity” in our lives (see Revelation 3:7-8). For whatever reason that right now is not altogether humanly understood by me, this is the way the LORD wants it to be…and HE has the final “say so” on EVERYTHING.
But then again, I’m sure Paul the Apostle didn’t think his tent ⛺️ making (see Acts 18:1-4) would have to be a major part of his life-the part of the life the LORD God chose for him, not what he chose for himself. But, since Paul surrendered all to the Lord Jesus, and I have done that myself several years ago, we have had to walk on the Path HE chose for us, in FAITH, trusting that no matter how grim it may look sometimes, He IS in control, He knows what is best for us, and He WILL provide.
I am not thrilled to have to rely on such an unstable income, along with writing my 📚 books. But that’s what the LORD put in my Path to do, while concentrating on sharing His Word-and some of it is definitely not welcomed by human ears to hear—which makes all of this that much more difficult to do as His servant.
BUT—the message of the ENTIRE WORD ✡️📖✝️of God must be heard. We cannot “cut out” the parts we don’t like or agree with. I am like my brother in the Faith, Paul, who said, “Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all, for I did not shrink from declaring to you THE WHOLE COUNSEL OF GOD” (Acts 20:26-27). The Lord Jesus will deal with those who refused to heed His📖Word on the Day of ⚖️Judgment(see Revelation 20:11-15).
THOSE artistic skills and abilities that He has placed in me to use, are to the LORD more “doors 🚪of opportunity” to reach thousands, and hopefully millions more, with His Word and message of REPENTANCE, HOPE, SALVATION, and REDEMPTION.
Until He knows I am done with my service here to Him, I will continue to walk the Path in the Dark with the FAITH I have in Him, holding His hand, knowing that He will always be faithful “to complete that good work in me, until the Day of Jesus Christ” (Phil. 1:6)
From Today’s Liturgy of the Hours-“Lauds” (Morning)—Ps. 143:9 reminds us how the LORD God is WHO can and WILL be our Deliverer of our enemies, IF we put our trust in Him.
For those who believe, He IS our Refuge and Who saves us from our enemies.
Even though we may go through terrible tribulations here while living out our daily lives, the LORD God One Day through His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, will make His enemies—both human and spiritual—His “footstool” (Ps. 110:1).
He will triumph over all evil (Col. 2:15) at the End of Days (Rev. 17:14).
We may not see it happen as quickly as we would like, BUT the LORD WILL AVENGE (Deut. 32:35; Rom. 12:19) at the appointed Time.
So do not be discouraged, beloved; the LORD God Most High sees and hears and knows ALL that is going on. He does not shut His eyes for one SECOND.
Isaiah 1:24 states, “Therefore the LORD declares, the LORD of Hosts (Adonai Tseva’ot), the Mighty One of ISRAEL: “Ah, I will get relief from My enemies and AVENGE Myself on My foes.”
For now, until That Day comes, let us pray and act out in faith, hope, and trust in what vv. 10-12 says- “Teach me to do Your will, for YOU are my God! Let Your good SPIRIT lead me (Jn. 16:13; 14:26; 15:26) on level ground! For Your Name’s sake, O LORD, preserve my life! In Your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble! And in Your steadfast love You will CUT OFF my enemies, and You will DESTROY all the adversaries of my soul, for I am Your servant.”
PLEASE—I beg all of you—PLEASE heed the Lord God’s WARNINGS in His 📖Word!!
Your hatred toward Israel and God’s inheritance, and all who love the Lord and His Word—if you do NOT REPENT, will be your eternal DESTRUCTION, as per HIS📖unfailing Word.
IF You come against me or any other true servant of the Most ✡️High God and His Son, ✝️the Lord Jesus Christ, according to HIS📖Word, you come against the Triune Godhead.
EVERY prophetic WORD OF 📖GOD MUST come to pass!
Do NOT be deceived into thinking that you will not be affected!! EVERY human being will be tested and tried.
Your choices determine your ultimate eternal destiny.
His 📖Word is forever TRUE, and WILL be accomplished according to HIS Will, timing, and purpose. 🙏❤️✡️📖✝️🕊️
I was in my late teens–around 17-19 years old, when I thought having an experience of LITERALLY hearing the Voice of the LORD God like the Prophet Samuel did, would be an awesome experience. I prayed to the LORD to allow it to happen for quite some time, and one night, it happened…
I was dead asleep, and I awoke to a man’s voice calling my name out–“JEANNETTE MARCELLI”; JEANNETTE MARCELLI”–😯I suddenly woke up, and what I thought I was hearing in my dream, was LOUD and CLEAR in my bedroom!🫢I was stunned, to say the least!
But immediately, I remembered Samuel’s experience, and realized that the LORD was answering MY prayer!😀 I called out, repeating the same words that Samuel spoke–“Speak; for your servant hears you.” Once that happened, I thanked the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, for allowing me to hear His Voice. That was the only time (so far) in my life, that I audibly heard His Voice. But boy, was that some wake up call!😐😊✡️📖✝️🕊️💖
When I turned 19 years old, I was “officially” called into the ministry, in the office of a Prophet, and I reluctantly accepted the “position”. I knew what opposition there was going to be with family, friends, and whatever else the evil ones could throw at me, especially at such a young age, when you are trying to establish yourself in this world. I wanted to obey the LORD’s Voice, and do what was called of me to do…
But by the time I neared the end of my 20th year, I started turning down a road that was NOT where the Lord wanted me to go; I worried more about what relationships I was going to have, and foolishly spending my hard earned money, instead of saving and tithing it as I should have. Within the next 5 years, my life changed dramatically–I became an unwed mother, losing both of my parents to their diseases, stopped going to school because of poor life choices, and was stuck on a crooked road, nowhere near where the LORD wanted me to go, or to serve Him in the capacity I was supposed to.
It took the next 30+ years and two divorces plus moving here and there, for me to realize that the LORD God’s voice was the ONE voice I should have listened to, and OBEYED; He knew where He was leading me, but I didn’t trust Him enough to do what He called me to do. Even though I did end up serving Him in other capacities like in a church praise and worship team, or going on a few global outreaches, because of the crooked path I was on, and the relationships I got myself into, I was not able to be used of Him the way HE destined for me.
December of 2016, was the time He chose to give me yet another opportunity to serve Him, but THIS time, He made sure I realized it had to be ALL or NOTHING. I CHOSE to serve Him WHOLEHEARTEDLY (Deut. 10:12; 1 Chron. 28:9; Ps. 119:2; Jer. 24:7; Mark 12:30), because serving Him half-heartedly, while doing what I WANTED to do in this world, only got me into major trouble! So I surrendered ALL to Him that night during that very emotional, tearful, and heart-wrenching time of prayer and reflection…
That night, the LORD put me back on the RIGHT PATH He initially chose for me. It’s been 7 YEARS since then, and those who know me (esp during those “before” years), can see and hear the difference NOW, compared to who I used to be.
I am grateful that the LORD God gave me another chance at being His lowly servant. It has NOT been easy at all, and many things have been “lost”, especially some very beloved people in my life, because I CHOSE to serve the LORD God with all my HEART, SOUL, MIND and STRENGTH (Deut. 6:4-9), and obey the Shema–HEARING the Voice of the LORD, and answering the CALL (finally!) in my life that HE destined for me. No regrets here! I cannot wait for That Day to thank Him in Person!!🙏💖✡️📖✝️🕊️
IF YOU HEAR HIS VOICE CALLING YOUR NAME–ANSWER HIM!!🙏💖✡️📖✝️🕊️
When I did my Ancestry search back in May of 2018, mainly because I am ADOPTED, I was hoping to find some siblings and other family members. I always left this part of my life, in the Lord’s hands, and figure IF and WHEN He wanted me to know anything about my biological family members, it would happen as HE willed it. I received the DNA test kit as a Mother’s Day gift that year (2018), and I knew it was time to find out whatever there was for me to discover about my family-good, bad, or otherwise.
One of the (many) blessings was finding family members who were alive and well, and willing to converse with me, either after I reached out to THEM, or they first reached out to ME.
One of those siblings happened to be my brother Chris on my bio father’s side. We met, and after a few years when I finally had a bit of time between school and moving, I wanted to finally change my name back to my maiden (family) name. I thought of incorporating my biological father’s name of GEIST in there, because it IS my family name, and it suits me exactly to WHO I am in Christ—GEIST = “ghost/spirit” in German. Many people a century or two ago with the GEIST name, would have a dove representing the HOLY SPIRIT, somewhere in their house, because of the association with their family name.
Anyone who knows me, and who I am in Christ, and being the servant of God that I am for Him, can easily see how much that was a “God Wink” connection between me and my family name.
So with the approval and blessing from my brother Chris, I took the last name and incorporated it into what would become my official name: JEANNETTE -what my name was changed to (named after Jeannette DiCapua/DeMaio-my Nana), after I was officially adopted a year and a half after I was born, and was called:
My Godparents Bill and Helen (The “Elizabeth” name is cut out on the top)
ELIZABETH-my ORIGINAL birth name given to me by my biological mother Doris, before giving me up for adoption; so I took that name, and made it my MIDDLE name; taking that name of Elizabeth and using it as a middle name, allowed me to ❤️honor the woman who, despite many issues she had in her life, decided to give me life, and bless a family who could not have children, with a child. (McGRAW is my bio mom’s maiden family name) GEIST—my biological name of my father, Robert, who I found out by my brother (and I actually have another brother Robert, who was named after our father) Chris, that he was a great ☺️dad, and an awesome cook!😋 Chris loved the idea of me using the family name, and that made it possible to honor my biological father that way.
MARCELLI—Rose and Ralph Marcelli tried to have children, but after a time, decided that it was not God’s will, and became foster parents. I was their third foster child they took in by Mid-March of 1965, after spending a couple of weeks in the hospital as “little orphan Elizabeth”😏; they already had two boys that were with them almost a year at that time, and desperately wanted a girl. Ralph and Rose went through way too much red tape in this awful, demoncratic state (even way back then!) of NJ, to try and adopt me; they finally got the “green light” in September, 1966 to call me their own. After a year and a half of having to call me “Elizabeth/Lisa”, they finally changed my name to “Jeannette”. I was an official member of the Marcelli family, at least to them. The MARCELLI surname means the world to me; THESE are the people who took me into their home, gave me their love, disciplined me, raised me to be a decent human being, treated me like their own flesh and blood child. I sure didn’t appreciate it all back when I was in my younger years (they both died within six months of each other, when I was 25/26 yrs old), but I miss them terribly now. I honor them by KEEPING the MARCELLI name alive and well. I may not have been a flesh and blood “Marcelli”, but I DID find out (and my parents would be THRILLED 😄😁at this!) via Ancestry a few years ago, that I DO have Italian blood in me, and —another God Wink—my ancestors are from around the SAME AREA😃as the Marcelli’s were (Naples)! How’s that for a GOD-MATCHED, HOLY SPIRIT INSPIRED adoption?😉😄😁😏
Ralph and Rose Marcelli’s Wedding-September 17, 1960
Some may wonder why, after being divorced, and able to go back to my maiden name, why I would go that extra step and take all FOUR names—JEANNETTE ELIZABETH GEIST-MARCELLI—yes, it’s a mouthful, but there is MEANING behind each name.
Jeannette (female name for JOHN)-YOHANNAN-“God is gracious”, from Yah-the shortened name of the LORD, and the verb “hanan”, to be gracious. Obviously, this name is found all over the Scriptures, such as John the Baptist, John the Apostle, the father of Simon and Andrew, etc.
Elizabeth-the Hebrew name ELISHEVA (Ex. 6:23; Luke 1:5). The name is made up of two parts-the first (Eli) is “my God” and the second (sheva) is the number of holy attributes: “seven”. Put it together, and you get, “My God of the Seventh” (sounds like “sabbath-which is a holy day to be recognized by the LORD God).
Another meaning for that name “sheva” is “swear”, which I’ve seen mostly as “My God is my Oath/Promise”; also, “(In) My God (I) swear”.
Elizabeth = Elisheva and John = Yohannan
So there you go. A bit of a long explanation why I took my original birth name, both first and last, and incorporated it into my adopted first and last name—to give both sets of parents the honor due THEM, and to also recognize what the LORD GOD was trying to tell ME (finally), when that spiritual 💡💡lightbulb finally switched “on” fully, to understand WHO I AM in HIM. I am His DAUGHTER, one of many, and His SERVANT, because I finally (back in 2016) said “YES” to wholeheartedly following Him, hence the “title” if you will, on the address label.
So when I send out a birthday, Christmas, or some other type of card, or have to pay a bill, or whatever other type of correspondence that I have to make, my NEW address labels state THIS (and some of you have actually received something from me with the label ON it):
Servant of the Most High God Jeannette Elizaabeth Geist-Marcelli
That is my WHOLE name; please use it, whenever you send correspondence to me. It means the world to me, because those who gave me LIFE, and those who RAISED me, meant the world to me, even though two of them, I never got to meet in this life. But I sure do appreciate what they did for me.
Thank you for reading this—I realize it was a longer post than usual.
Maybe you, the reader, should take the time and look up what the meaning of your names are; you may😉end up being quite surprised😄like I was!☺️
I cannot begin to tell you how much of a “Godwink” this is, to see this specific verse this morning in my daily morning devotional. It brought tears to my eyes, especially after the conversation that happened in the middle of the night.
Even us kids who study the Word of God all time, need reminders of certain commandments that Abba has given us. I was reminded of one very important one last night.
I have been struggling with not being able to obtain a good enough paying job, in order that ALL my bills are paid, not just some of them. I’m so tired-actually, exhausted- of living like a pauper for the last 5 years. I know I’m speaking to the choir about this–we’re all in the same boat, just on different levels, and going through different specific situations when it comes to finances.
I thought for sure that everything would turn around for me, once I graduated with my Bachelor’s, but I still could not find a decent (preferably remote at the time) paying job. And even AFTER writing four books and receiving hardly any royalties for them (very few people have purchased my books), I continued to live on either school or tax refunds, which had to pay for anything and everything I needed, and any and all bills that came in–now including rent. Talk about slicing the pie VERY thin–almost to the point of it being transparent!
One mystery that has yet to be solved–it was the LORD’s will for me to write those books–so why would I not make any money off of them? Was that all out of obedience, and nothing more?
BUT–it seemed more like that was the Lord’s will all along on this faith journey of mine, proving Himself faithful again recently, when I finally did get (albeit part-time and just above minimum pay) a job. It also proved to me, that what His will IS, will be, no matter whether His child likes and or approves of it, or not.
Now that I have a M.A., I thought that would open even MORE doors of opportunity to get a much higher-paying job, and something I can be proud of, paying all the bills, saving some money, tithing, etc. But that hasn’t happening either-at least not yet-no decent enough paying job has come my way. So I went to the LORD once again, grumbling and asking why He will not open up that door (Rev. 3:7), and pour out His financial blessing, enough that I can finally breathe and not feel like I’m suffocating anymore.
When I went to sleep last night, I was not in a good mood at all. He knew what was on my mind, and except for the normal prayer time, I said nothing more, and fell asleep.
As usual like every other night, I woke up a couple of hours later. The Holy Spirit wanted to “discuss” something with me–I could tell, because I was wide awake, and He had me look up something in the Hebrew Torah prior to “answering” my question of why I continue to struggle financially all this time.
The answer finally came. He reminded me of one of the promises I made IF I were to get a job–any job–and that was, I would start to pay my TITHES again.
Oh my gosh–tithing?! “You mean another 10% off the top (gross) every week–” Ugh…
YES–tithing. I haven’t done much of that, because of the very little paychecks I have received from this part-time job, ALTHOUGH I have managed to put aside 10% for my church back in 2018 when I worked a seasonal job (making $1 more an hour, but way less hours).
BUT–it IS His will; it always has been. That is how the priests were to survive and provide for their families, because the people would support them by giving a tenth of their income (Malachi 3:10; Num. 18:21,26; Deut. 16:17; 2 Cor. 9:7).
Lord knows my priest does not get any help from the hierarchy of the Church, especially when it comes to the TLM portion of the Masses; he survives on a stipend at least a couple of hundred dollars LESS than my total monthly income. But he has a small but faithful flock, who also purchase his delicious breads, soups (when in season) and pies throughout the year to also help him out financially.
But that is what my Father wanted to remind me of–to tithe, as I promised I would. I got so caught up in finally having a paycheck again (it was almost two years that I went without one) to pay some of my bills (and believe you me, I’m still about $800 in the hole with my car bill–it’s only the grace and mercy of God that they haven’t taken it away!), I seriously forgot to include that in my WEEKLY expenses (yes, even if I do not show up to church a certain week, I STILL am obligated He said, to put that money aside for the priest). “Give and it shall be given unto you”(Luke 6:38)–remember, Jeannette?” “Yes, Father”, I said, now feeling worse than I did before. All I could think of is what 📖Malachi stated in vs. 8–“Would man rob God? Yet you are robbing Me…” Ugh…
Nevertheless, He also reminded me of what it said in the latter part of 📖 verse 10–“And thereby put Me to the test, says the LORD of Hosts (Adonai Tze’vaot), if I will not OPEN the windows of Heaven for you and pour down a blessing until there is no more need.”
No matter what the specific situation in a believer’s life, if the LORD’s will needs to be done, DO IT. He is faithful, even when we are not (2 Timothy 2:13). He is forever merciful and gracious, and understanding of our needs, and will remain faithful to us (Lam. 3:22-23; Deut. 7:9), unto the end of our days. We should be faithful as well, and trusting in Him to see that, according to HIS WILL for our lives, make sure that we accomplish all that HE set us out to do. He in turn, will PROVIDE for all our needs (and a few of our wants as well!).
BUT–the LORD’s WILL comes FIRST–no matter what the circumstances are. As long as we honor Him and abide in Him, He will make sure to bless us in whatever way He seems fit to do it, and will strengthen us along the way to accomplish all His will He purposed for us, until the Day He calls us Home with Him.
Walking in the Dark with Faith 