Well it finally happened–I’m a published Author!! I’ve been working on the first of my three-book series, “Walking in the Dark with FAITH” for the past few years; it has taken that long BECAUSE of all the craziness that happened in my life that you’ll read about in these books.
I am just another “nobody” with no money, who is living off of the provisions that the Lord God sends me–that was part of this whole “faith walk” to begin with. I had to surrender all to the Lord , and follow Him wholeheartedly, as He put me back on the Path that He intended for me all along. The finances, the “love of my life”, a place to live, a job, etc., all were to be handed over to the Lord Jesus, and have Him do with (or without!) them in my life, as He so pleased.
When it came to the publishing part of the journey, I did a lot of research, and quickly found out I did not have the funds it was going to take, to have an editor, or a publishing house to pick me up and help me get this done. It was all having to be done on my own, and I am not tech savvy in the least! But at this point, I had no choice–I had to continue to be obedient to the Lord, and get this done and published, so I did the best I could with it.
The cover part was easy–my sister in the Lord Patricia Hoffman, is an artist and sculpter. You can look her up on Facebook, and see her work. She offered to paint a scene that had to do with the very journey I’m on, and when she was finished with it, I absolutely loved it, and that is how I managed to have an awesome cover for my books!
Both the first of the series and the companion devotional can be purchased on Amazon.com in either Kindle or paperback format.
It wasn’t my decision to be so “open” with my story, but the Lord reminded me that:
1)There are several people in the Bible who would have rather not let us know what they did or said in their lives,
2)It helped some of us to learn from their mistakes,
3)He alone is the Judge of all, so being obedient to His instructions to “Write it all down”, is what He asked of me, and I did it. Obedience is KEY, as I have learned.
I pray that these books bless you and help to encourage you on your own faith walk in the dark with the Lord God. There will be a pattern of ongoing tests, trials, tears, but also spiritual growth as the second and third books are written and published. I hope to have the second one finished by the beginning of next year, in between finishing up my last semester of college and getting my Bachelor’s Degree! Finally!
I appreciate it if you would “like” and follow me for more of my blog posts, and to keep up with all that is going on with the book series. I do plan to write other books and devotionals as well, separate from this series, so make sure you subscribe to get my blog in your email.
Thank you all that purchase the books and/or who read my blog post. I look forward to hearing what you think about them. You can email me at JeannetteElizabeth@faithinthedarkhome.com. God bless.
I’ve been married twice—the first time, it was because I had a child out of wedlock, and we tried to do the “right thing” by getting married about four years into our relationship. It wasn’t the best of times, and even though I loved the fact that I was part of his big family, we were so not meant for each other. But it was hard to break away because I hated to be alone.
But this second marriage—there was I thought, something different and better about it. After all, he was a “Christian” and we had a lot in common, especially both of us being musicians. We met at church through a friend, and even though I was told over and over again by the Spirit to “WAIT, Jeannette, PLEASE wait”, I ignored those pleas. I soon found myself not only thrilled to have someone in my life again, but within TWO WEEKS, he asked me to marry him, and I said YES! And within four months to the day we met, we were married.
As crazy as that sounds, it happened just like that. The pastor of our church tried to have us wait a while, at least six months or so, until we got to know each other better. But we wouldn’t hear of it; we were determined to be with each other, for we felt that we knew what we were doing. Besides, neither one of us wanted to be ALONE anymore. He was by himself for quite some time, and so was I. We figured we’d be alright because we were Christians, and God would be happy with our current choice, rather than who we had in our past.
Husband Number Two wasn’t married before like I was. Personality-wise, he was the complete OPPOSITE of Number One. That was one of the main reasons I was attracted to him. I realize now that when the Holy Spirit told me to “WAIT”, oh my soul—I should have LISTENED!! There were many issues with Husband Number Two that slowly but surely came out over the next several years. We didn’t have any children, and now I am grateful for that. But out of those thirteen years with him, the latter SIX were some of the loneliest times I had out of married life.
More and more it proved to be I made yet another wrong life choice. Four years before the marriage finally ended, he left me, and for the next three months of my life, it was horrific. As bad as our marriage was at that point, I didn’t want it to end. All the arguments and fights, all the nights one of us would be sleeping on the couch (most of the time it was me—he wasn’t giving up the bed), I couldn’t stand the fact that I just may be ALL ALONE AGAIN. That thought haunted me every single day.
We finally got back together after those three months, but the next four years was more of the same—living as roommates, hardly any intimate time, and even though we moved a couple of times hoping the new scenery and areas would help our marriage, the fact of the matter was, WE weren’t meant to be together either.
Once again, God proved Himself right—if He wasn’t the One ordaining the marriage to begin with, it wasn’t going to last. Once again, I failed. Once again, I found myself alone, at least for a short time, and then I fell into my bad habit again of having someone else to fill the “loneliness” gap for another two years, until finally, the Lord put the “brakes” on back in 2016. Through natural and supernatural means (He is the Revealer of secrets—see Daniel 2:27-28, 47)—when He’s ready to tell us those secrets, He “lifts the veil”, and puts the pieces of the puzzle together—at least enough of it for the time, so we can understand what He’s trying to tell us. For me, I was reminded about WHY the Spirit tried to me make me WAIT on Him back in 2000, and NOT be with anyone else. I needed that time for GROWTH in Him, and in myself. I never gave myself a break since I was 20 years old; I always either dated, or was involved in a long term relationship.
But what the Lord wanted me to do almost three years ago, was to me, very frightening. Being ALONE, by myself, having NO man to go out to dinner with, to be intimate with (but intimacy doesn’t just mean jumping into bed with each other, folks!)—after all, I AM a human; I do desire LOVE, and romance. I am a VERY passionate person, and to be without someone all this time has been sometimes excruciating!! But after what the Lord explained to me just WHO that person was—the “clues” He gave to me years ago, that I just ignored, and never gave another thought to—the Lord was TRYING TO HELP me not suffer any more with having the wrong guy in my life, and I basically blew Him off!
“What the HECK was I thinking?!”, I said to Him after He not only finally divulged the “mystery” of what He told me back in 2000, but He said that no matter what, I needed TIME to heal, and to start living the LIFE He had intended me to live. He didn’t just give me the gifts of music and writing to push aside and never use again; He wanted me not just to survive in this world, but to THRIVE, and FLOURISH. But—the “deal” was, it had to be on HIS terms (that means, according to HIS Word), and in HIS timing of it all.
One of the “terms” was, just what I am doing now—telling others of the very costly LIFE mistakes I made, and hoping that by telling others, especially the younger generation, they will HEED my warnings, and not repeat what I’ve done!
Hence the other part of the “terms” He set forth—to write them down not only in my Journal, and a Blog, but a BOOK. Actually, a series of books, so others can learn from my mistakes, and make better decisions based on the Bible, and having a PERSONAL relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
As far as the music portion goes, He led me to a church where I am currently on the Worship Team, and the Worship Leader and I are also in another band that sings and plays classic rock and roll, just for fun. That’s a “God Wink” story for another time.
Being married was always HIS plan for my life—choosing who I wanted, ended up being MY plan, not His. I have “reaped” what I’ve sown all those years ago. The loneliness I’ve felt came in waves these past few years on this “Season of Waiting” Journey; sometimes I feel like I’m going to crash and drown. But then the Lord “shows up”, and as if I can feel His arms around me, He lets me know that I am NOT ALONE; that I AM loved; that I AM worthy of “that man”’s love—when it’s TIME for it; that I have so many things to learn yet, and to also share with others, while I’m still a “solitary”. Until that time comes for God to let “him” into my life, I have to learn to appreciate this time, try and enjoy the Journey, and realize that even though I am by myself right now (and for the LONGEST period of my life, I may add!), I am NEVER alone, for He is always here with me.
I’ve been on my own for the past four years; Oh, I’ve had plenty of so-called “opportunities” to have a man in my life, but honestly, after being put on this Journey back in December of 2016, and having the Lord show me WHO I should really being waiting for, and having Him confirm it to me several times, I haven’t had any desire to seek anyone else out further.
Have I been lonely? Sure as heck I’ve been! But functioning without a life partner is doable, I learned to realize. It was a weakness in me that the Lord brought to light, and for the past almost three years now, I’ve learn to be comfortable enough to function without having someone to lean on.
That doesn’t mean I don’t want anyone; I sure do! I am WAITING on God as of this very moment still, to deliver “that man” to me, in His own timing. I can live without such a one, but I CHOOSE not to, for I was MADE and DESIGNED by God Himself for a specific man, and that man was made and designed by God, for ME. I also want to be able to share my life, my love, my passions with him; there are so many things I want to experience with that LOVE of my life, who I cannot wait to be with. But for now, until God deems it the “right time”, I live and function alone, without that life partner, learning to become a strong independent woman who can be that better Proverbs 31 woman “that man” needs me to be for him.
The one thing I don’t EVER want to do, is function in this life without God at my side. A man is one thing, but not having the Lord God to lead and guide me, is a train wreck waiting to happen. Actually, it’s already happened in my life, hence the reason why the Lord put me on this Journey, and in a “Season of Waiting” for “that man” of His own choosing. But for me to be the woman of God “that man” needs me to be, the Lord had to “tweak” some things in my life that needed work on, and I’m way better now than I was three years ago, hence all the more reason I realize the importance of not wanting to function without the Hand of God leading and guiding me in this life.
Some of my loved ones and friends choose to function in this life without Christ; but they will never have the Eternal Life that is promised to them unless they give their lives over to Him. They need to SURRENDER their lives—body, soul and spirit—over to the Lord, accept Him as Savior and Lord of their lives, and unless they do all that, He will NOT be able to LIVE inside of them (the Holy Spirit dwells inside each and every believer—see John chapters 14-16). Period.
Mankind functions every single day whether or not they recognize Christ as Savior and Lord, and God as Supreme Being and Almighty God and Father, ONLY because of the COMMON GRACE that God has bestowed upon His Creation since the Beginning of TIME.
Most of the Earth’s population does NOT take advantage of the Saving Grace that Jesus is freely giving to ALL mankind. In fact, some have gone so far as to not only IGNORE God’s ONLY plan for their Salvation, Redemption and Eternal Life, but to insult the Most High God by saying there are OTHER WAYS and means that a human spirit being can achieve “higher consciousness”, or a “god-like” state. Some, like the atheists themselves, say one doesn’t need a supposed spirit being to better their lives—they can do it all by themselves within their own human strength, willpower and intelligence.
God puts each and every single person in situations and circumstances (most of the time, bad ones!), so that they have the OPPORTUNITY to cry out TO Him for Mercy, Grace, Forgiveness, Salvation and Deliverance(Psalm 34:6; 61:2; 77:1; 1 Kings 17:20; 1 Chronicles 5:20).
There’s only ONE PROBLEM with that—the strength, willpower and intelligence that they originally were BORN with, is from the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY Himself, so mankind cannot say that it is only through HIMSELF that he’s attained all he has, for that is FALSE.
There are still others who say that they have somewhat of a spiritual lifestyle, inviting other so-called religions, beliefs, faiths, etc. to enter into their lives, and somehow, as “spiritual” as they may seem, saying that they are OPEN-minded to all things, shut down almost immediately when it comes to God and His Word.
Why is that? Because mankind’s DOMINION and POWER were allowed to be taken from him in the Garden of Eden, by a sly and cunning fallen angel, disguised as a serpent, named Lucifer-turned-Satan. We CAN and DO have that dominion still, because God is sovereign, and Jesus was victorious over Death at the Cross; we just need to take up our AUTHORITY in CHRIST in order to HAVE dominion over Satan! Lucifer was kicked out of Heaven (specifically, the Third Heaven) (“I saw Satan fall as lightning”—Luke 10:18) when he was foolish enough to think and say that HE could be like the Most High, and somehow take over the Third Heaven where God Himself resides (Isaiah 14:12). BUT, I have to admit that Satan used all his gifts, talents, skills and abilities that the Lord God Almighty originally gave him when He created Lucifer as a Cherub, and made him “worship leader” of Heaven (see also Ezekiel 28:13-17). Lucifer was obviously so full of himself, that he didn’t bother to give God the glory thanks He deserved for giving Lucifer all those gift, talents, etc. to begin with. Lucifer LIED to himself, thinking and saying that what he had, he attained BY himself, FOR himself. WRONG ANSWER!! Hence the quick expulsion of him out of Heaven, and now that humankind was already in the mix of what the Lord’s plans were, God has used even Satan himself and those 1/3 that were convinced of his lies and promises of taking over Heaven, all these millennia, to PROVE to mankind, that the ONLY ONE who has POWER , DOMINION and the PROMISE of ETERNAL LIFE, and the true GIVER of such, is God HIMSELF, through His Son Jesus Christ, having the Holy Spirit living IN and working THROUGH His true believers, and NO ONE ELSE can share HIS Glory and Honor due His Name (Isaiah 42:8; Psalm8:1; Isaiah 43:7; John 17:4; John 14:6; 1 John 5:13; Rev. 4:11). But Philippians 2:9-11 spells it out for us, that ALL will bow their knees, and confess with their tongues, whether they be in Heaven or Hell, that Jesus IS LORD to the GLORY of God the Father! Amen!
There are always going to be humans, until the Lord calls it “quits” down here, that will just NEVER believe Him, His Word, or in His ways. He knows that; He created us. He knows how fallible we are, such stubborn, rebellious creatures, and needing of that spiritual REBIRTH and CONNECTION to the SPIRIT that was CUT OFF due to the SIN of DISOBEDIENCE in the Garden of Eden by Adam and Eve. Satan DOESN’T want us to have that one-on-one Spiritual “re-connection” with the Lord God Almighty, for IF we DO, then we will NO LONGER fall for his lies, schemes, and deceitfulness! Keep as many “in the dark” about their spiritual connection to the Lord God Almighty—even convince some that there IS no such thing as a “spirit body” (1 Thessalonians 5:23; Numbers 16:22; Genesis 1:26-27, which clearly states God created us LIKE the Godhead!; Matthew 10:28; James 2:26; 1 Corinthians 5:5, 15:44-47), but as you see there are numerous verses in the Bible, and those listed are just a few, that speak of God making man IN HIS IMAGE, which is a SPIRIT, a SOUL (the mind, will and intellect of a person), and lastly, a BODY. But most of mankind has ignored the first two, concentrating only on the last part—the BODY, and has tried to be glorified through that ONE aspect of himself.
As it has been stated before, God is NOT going to share His glory with anyone, nor allow His creation to raise itself above Him—it cannot and WILL not happen. Either we SURRENDER ourselves to Him, realizing that we in fact DO need a SAVIOR and Redeemer in this life, to lead and guide us, ensuring us along the way that we ARE His, and He works in, with, for, and THROUGH us, because of the LOVE that Christ showed for us upon the Cross, taking our place, and putting upon Himself ALL the SINS of mankind, OR we can in our own stubbornness and rebellious nature, remain steadfast in our sins, going through LIFE here without Him, doing our own thing, believing what WE want instead of what He has shown us, and remaining DEAD in the spirit until Judgment at the White Throne Judgment Seat, which happens in Revelation 20.
It’s OUR choice—Eternal LIFE with the Lord Jesus Christ, recognizing our FULL POTENTIAL here and allowing God to work out His Plans and Purposes in this LIFE (Jeremiah 29:11) that He has Ordained and made for us BEFORE the foundations of this world (Ephesians 1:4; Psalm 90:2, 2 Timothy 1:9), and so we HAVE this “HOPE of Eternal LIFE, which God, Who does NOT lie, PROMISED before the beginning of TIME” (Titus 1:2).
OR, we can remain in our sinful state, doing WHAT we want, WHEN we want to, HOW we want to, with WHOM we want to, and meet our Judge (Psalm 9:8; 50:4; 75:7; 96:13; Isaiah 3:13; 33:12; 66:16; Daniel 7:9-10; Ezekiel 33:20; Revelation 6:15-17; Hebrews 10:30–the Lord WILL judge His people; 1 Peter 4:17–the Lord judges His OWN, and righteously, so it’s OBVIOUS that those who do NOT follow Him will ALSO be righteously Judged!; 2 Peter 2:4–even the ANGELS will be judged!; Jeremiah 17:10).
It’s up to each and every single human SPIRIT being that has set foot upon this Earth, to CHOOSE this day, who we will serve—ourselves, a false god, or the One True Living God. One way or another, on THAT DAY, we ALL will meet Him. As Amos 4:12 says, “Prepare to meet thy GOD.”
First off, I want to apologize for not being on here and blogging for the past two weeks—School was finishing up with finals, concert recitals, etc., and I also had to MOVE in the middle of all of that! I’ve been non-stop, even having to play out in a gig this past Friday at the last minute, and just in the past day or two, have finally slowed down enough to situate myself in my new living space, and just take a BREATH.
As far as my grades go, it looks like I’ll be getting a 4.0 for the first time in my college career! I’ve gotten close in years prior, but as hard as it’s been on many of my fellow classmates and I this semester, it’s actually paying off! I’m so stoked to be able to honor God with my excellent grades!
Now, about that title—I borrowed part of it from a song that I recently heard on the radio, which the Lord used not just once in the past two weeks, but TWICE😳✡️🌈, as a “God Wink” for me! I was reading one of my devotionals a little over a week ago, the Streams in the Desert, and remembered that was THE one that the Spirit lead me to taking the title of what will be my book series, and also, how this blog’s name came from.
The title of that devotional on May 1st was, “God Cannot Lie”. The Scripture verse was, “God that cannot lie, promised”, taken from Titus 1:2. As you read the devotional, it speaks of how FAITH is being exercised by believing that what God said would come to pass, is TRUE, and that it WILL, according to His timing and purpose of it all. The following quote that the author of the devotional uses, is where the Lord inspired me to get my title from—“FAITH, walking in the DARK with God, only prays Him to clasp its hand more closely.”—Phillips Brooks
I reflected back on these past two years, as I re-read that quote over and over again. It made me remember and realize that God has been moving mightily in my life every single day, and anywhere from one to several times a week, He’ll give me what has been coined by the Spirit to me, “supportive evidence” to prove to me, I’m on the right track, and to continue to WAIT on Him to bring me to the FRUITION of His intended Destiny for my life.
I absolutely LOVE the quote from the movie, “A League of Their Own”, when the announcer said at the end of the World Series game, “I’ve seen enough to know I’ve seen too much!” That’s how I feel by now—there is NO WAY after two plus years on this FAITH Journey, that I can deny God’s Hand in all of this—EVEN when it’s a song that “just so happens” to come on the radio, when I’ve been suddenly “led” to turn it on, and there it is!! NO ONE can tell me that God doesn’t move and do miracles in this day and age!! I’ll challenge ANYONE OUT THERE, to tell me different!! I’m talking to you BELIEVERS of God, NOT any unbeliever. Oh, I’d tell you the same, unbeliever, that God DOES do miracles today—2019, as He did thousands of years ago.
So those who name the name of Christ, and believe in the Father, Son and Holy Ghost (Spirit)—when God says that He cannot LIE, do you TRUST Him? Do you BELIEVE Him? He wouldn’t be God if He lied! How could anyone TRUST Him then? WHY would anyone trust Him?
After leaving the concert recital, not having anyone there for me, I felt a little down. Immediately I was wishing that the Lord would bring “that man” into my life, and let me get on living as a married person, instead of going through this desert “season” of dryness, and lovelessness. I don’t have my parents around anymore, who would always come to all my performances when I was singing, or in a play. I started to weep, and suddenly, the Spirit had me put on the radio, which I wasn’t really in the mood to do☹️😒, but wanting to be OBEDIENT and trusting, I went ahead. The radio station was still in their week of a “sharathon” mode, and to actually listen to a song at any given time, was a miracle in itself at that point🙄. Well, as God would have it✡️🌈, not only was there a song on the radio at the time, but it was Danny Gokey’s song, “Haven’t Seen it Yet”. It was about three-quarters of the way done, but with God’s perfect SOVEREIGN TIMING 😳 I heard from the bridge of the song, onward! Here are some of the lyrics written out, and then the rest in the pic: “He is moving with a LOVE so deep/Hallelujah for the victory/Good things are coming even when we can’t SEE/We can’t see it yet, but we BELIEVE that” (2x)
Let me tell you something, Naysayers—even people like Pilate and Judas Iscariot would have noticed God’s work in my life by now, if you don’t! I don’t say that to be rude or cruel, but SOMETHING has got to wake you all UP to SEE that God DOES work TODAY in people’s lives (“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”-Hebrews 13:8), but you have to “Call upon the LORD” (Ps.4:1; 17:6-9; 18:3; 50:15; Isa. 65:24; Jer. 33:3), and be serious and consistent in your prayers about it, in order to start SEEING the results! My “man” isn’t in my life—YET; I don’t have a decent job, or a place to call my own—YET! BUT GOD—do you see that??—But GOD “will (and HAS!) supply ALL my NEEDS, according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19)! He’s been taking care of me every STEP of the way so far on this Journey! I’d be a FOOL to stop believing now! The “God Winks” that He has provided, has been astounding, and encouraging enough to keep me going, letting me know full well that “He that started a good work in you, will carry it on to completion(Phil. 1:6).”
EVERY TIME I stepped out in FAITH, the Lord God has responded in kind—giving me what He did with that song on the radio, for instance. I’m amazed more and more, especially with the EXACT TIMING of it all! Even where the song lyrics were at the time I was led to turn the radio on, makes it even more astounding! It’s as if God was using the song to “answer” the questions I was crying out to Him in those moments. ❤️✝️🙏🏼 It encouraged me so much. My situation hasn’t changed as yet, but He brought me once again to a place of PEACE and ASSURANCE that He IS “working all things together for good” (Rom. 8:28). God IS up to something good, and as always, I am willing to WAIT on Him to do all that He needs to do, in order to make it ALL “come to pass”(Ps. 37:5).
Taking God at His word is something you the reader, are going to hear me talk about over and over again, as well as OBEDIENCE to Him, and TRUSTING in His word. I wouldn’t have seen all the “God Winks” I’ve seen so far, and experienced His wonder working power in my life, if I haven’t been BELIEVING what His word says IS true!
The man I am waiting for, IS worth waiting for, because the Lord God has HIS Hand in it; I am working hard in school, to not only do well for myself and my future husband and family, but also because it brings God honor and glory. The more I hang onto God’s Word and have FAITH in it, even while still in the DARK about what God is ultimately going to do, WILL lead me finally to that Destination that God had for “him” and I all along, and for whatever ministry or ministries He puts us in.
Waiting patiently is just one of the STEPS I’ve had to do on this Journey. It hasn’t been easy, but the Lord has been faithful to show me encouraging SIGNS along the way, to make me realize that He IS “perfecting that which concerns me” (Ps. 138:8).” May you allow Him to do the same in your life. Be Blessed.