Our eyes and ears must be “tuned” to the Voice that speaks from Heaven. He has sent many a person to inform and warn in the past, and still does to this day; but one day, it will end, and the LORD will shake not only the Earth, but the Heavens. All the inhabitants of the Earth, be they for or against Him, shall know it is Him.
But all that HE has established, shall NOT be shaken or moved.
1 Samuel 2:9 states, “He will KEEP the feet of His saints, and the wicked shall be silent in darkness; for by strength shall no man prevail.”
Psalm 9:19 says, “ARISE, O LORD; let not man prevail: let the heathen be judged in Thy sight.”
Let us also be comforted and encouraged with the words of Jeremiah 1:19, as we see so much evil seemingly prevailing in this world today:
“And they shall fight against thee; but they shall not prevail against thee; for I AM with thee, saith the LORD, to deliver thee.”
Ut in Omnibus Glorificetur Dei
“So that in all things God may be glorified.”–St. Benedict
Look at this first picture—that is basically what I have been told today by the Spirit concerning where He’s got me right now—in a “holding pattern”. He says there’s still much to be done, and He’ll be using me and many others to get His Church reformed and revitalized, yet once more my life in the past two weeks has placed me in this state of “limbo” , and I’ve been left wondering if I did something wrong, or if not, why am I not moving forward? I know He hasn’t abandoned me, but sometimes the silence is so deafening. I wish He would just finally let me know what’s going on with my school—whether or not we’re going to be back there or just online; where I’m going to live next, and when “that man” will ever show up in my life. Plus, what about all these languages He’s thrown at me lately to learn—Biblical Greek, Hebrew and even Aramaic?! It’s bad enough I’m majoring in Latin in school right now for the past two years, but I am just now starting to put the pieces of that puzzle together as to “why” He was so insistent on me learning it. Sitting tight and “being still” is NOT my forté, but it is what is expected of me at the moment. But the Lord also puts me in these places of stillness, to speak to me and inform me of things from time to time. This is one of those times and subjects that has been impressed upon my heart that the Holy Spirit has been grieving about more and more lately.
I have the privilege every so often, to “see” with my spiritual eyes, the Lord Jesus “darkly” (1 Cor. 13:12). I had that “vision”, as some may call it, yesterday morning, as He stated to me once again, “TRUST ME”. I said to Him, “I say it every day, Lord, as I pray certain prayers, and as I see it on a picture of You as a constant reminder.” He is working on uniting the Church Body (every sect of Christianity that believes in the Trinity/Godhead), reminding us that we are to be as ONE. Too many splits have been made in the Church, and unfortunately, there is so much infighting within each sect, it is sad and disturbing to Him.
As far as Scriptural integrity goes, there will be more splits, because there are some that no longer adhere to what the word of God states; more within each church sect will fall away (2 Timothy 4:3-4). On a positive note, just within the past two months, I’ve come in contact with many brothers and sisters in the Catholic Church who said that the leaders in the last several years, have made it their task to make sure the laypeople are learning more Scripture in Church, and told to read and study God’s Word at home, and within home and prayer groups. I’ve been amazed at how much the Holy Spirit has really burst open the Church doors, and rained down His Holy Fire on them.
I’ve prayed for such a revival over 35 years ago while in the Church, but none would hear of it then; they thought me mad for saying I was “born again” as a Catholic. They said it was ok to read my Bible but it wasn’t really impressed upon us to do so. I asked too many questions that they no longer wanted to answer, and felt like they didn’t need to. Even though I was very involved in the Church, I was no longer made welcome back then, so I left. That is not what the Lord wanted to have happen to me, so He reassured me that it would not stay like that. He gave me a choice back then to either stay or leave; I could tell He wanted me to stay and “wait it out”, but the emotional damage that was done to me at the time left me scarred. I walked out and found another part of the Body of Christ to fellowship with, that not only adhered to Scripture, but had the teaching and moving of the Holy Spirit as well.
The Lord kept His promise to me—He said things would be better in time, although still needing some reform in certain areas. But allowing the Third Person of the Trinity to finally be made more known and taught about to His people, so that He could work within them, has been a major positive change I’ve been delighted to discover. To hear some Catholics say they are “born again and Spirit filled” now is remarkable. Their love for Jesus is not only a spoken thing, He is really present in their daily lives. The RCC has greatly improved in that area.
Yet, there are unfortunately some within each sect of the Body of Christ that ignored the Savior’s commandments, and have “turned from the truth” (2 Tim 4:4) altogether. Both Peter and Paul spoke of these things in their letters and we are the generation that is really seeing this come together. We MUST unite the brethren (John 17:21-23; 1 Corinthians 1:10(see pic); 12:12-13; 2 Corinthians 13:11; John 13:35; Philippians 2:2-3; Matthew 18:19-20; 23:8; Ephesians 1:10; 2:14; 4:1-6(see pic), 11-13, 16; Colossians 3:13-14; Psalm 133:1; 1 Peter 3:8; Romans 6:5; 12:4,16; Galatians 3:26,28).
We are not to concentrate on what divides us as far as the differences in how we praise and worship the Lord; He wants us to concentrate on what UNITES us, and going back to Acts and see how the brethren worked together as one back then. Why should it be any different today? To borrow loosely again from Dallas Jenkins(creator of The Chosen Series)’ quote—let the Lord Jesus deal with the feeding of the 5,000 and let US brothers and sisters in Him concentrate on bringing the loaves and fishes, work together as ONE BODY in Christ, and not bicker over the differences. The Lord is not deaf, dumb or blind to what needs to be changed and reformed in the Body; He works first with the individuals themselves, and then spreads it further within the Body. The Holy Spirit’s job IS to “convict the world concerning sin, righteousness and judgment”(John 16:8); He knows exactly who in the Body of Christ is following Him, and who isn’t.
The Holy Spirit is the SAME “still small voice”(1 Kings 19:12) that is in EVERY believer. For those who will humble themselves and “have ears to hear”(Mathew 11:15; Luke 8:8; Revelation 2:7), I say ALL of us need to go to the Father, and ask Him to point us in the direction HE wants us to go (Isaiah 55:6-7). Spend time with Jesus each and every day in prayer, conversation and studying His Word (Matthew 6:6; Romans 10:17; James 4:8). HEED the voice of the Holy Spirit who dwells within us—He is there to lead, guide, instruct, correct, chastise(let’s not forget those last two!!), comfort and encourage us (Psalm 143:10; Isaiah 30:21; Luke 12:11-12; John 14:26; 16:7-11, 13; Acts 1:8; 2:28; Romans 8:6,9,14,26-27; 1 Corinthians 2:13; 6:19; Galatians 5:25(see pic); Ephesians 1:13; 2 Peter 1:19-21). I do not put these verses in here to “show off” how much I know—I put them in here in the hope that you, the reader, will be a “Berean” and look them up for yourselves, and be edified and encouraged by His Word. I pray that we all would continue to hear His “still small voice” speaking to us every single day. Allow the Lord to teach us, transform us (Romans 12:2), no longer following the masses in their thoughts, values, and lack of common sense, and having the apparent void of God in their lives (Exodus 23:2; Eph. 4:17). Allow also for the Lord to “shatter the glass” in your life, if it is needed. Definition of that saying—“a moment of realization that changes your perception on something” (urbandictionary.com).
So let the Lord lead you, of course. My “glass” was shattered about a month ago now, about the RCC, and how much they have positively changed in the last 35 years since I left, because of what happened to me within my own parish. Reform in every church body needs to be done, and still there are items in the RCC that definitely need to be addressed, but again the Lord was letting me know that He was keeping His promise to me—to make sure that those who had “ears to hear” would hear, and follow Him regardless of what man may have put down as “doctrine”. The Spirit will continue to gather His people unto Himself, lovingly correct, unify and strengthen the Body of Christ. All we must do, is listen, heed His voice, adhere to His Word, allow Him to “shatter” any glass within our lives, and unite as ONE BODY in Christ, so that we all can “be in one accord” with Him, to bring others to Christ, and be a true example of LOVE between all the brethren, speaking in Spirit and Truth. Be blessed.
I’ve been married twice—the first time, it was because I had a child out of wedlock, and we tried to do the “right thing” by getting married about four years into our relationship. It wasn’t the best of times, and even though I loved the fact that I was part of his big family, we were so not meant for each other. But it was hard to break away because I hated to be alone.
But this second marriage—there was I thought, something different and better about it. After all, he was a “Christian” and we had a lot in common, especially both of us being musicians. We met at church through a friend, and even though I was told over and over again by the Spirit to “WAIT, Jeannette, PLEASE wait”, I ignored those pleas. I soon found myself not only thrilled to have someone in my life again, but within TWO WEEKS, he asked me to marry him, and I said YES! And within four months to the day we met, we were married.
As crazy as that sounds, it happened just like that. The pastor of our church tried to have us wait a while, at least six months or so, until we got to know each other better. But we wouldn’t hear of it; we were determined to be with each other, for we felt that we knew what we were doing. Besides, neither one of us wanted to be ALONE anymore. He was by himself for quite some time, and so was I. We figured we’d be alright because we were Christians, and God would be happy with our current choice, rather than who we had in our past.
Husband Number Two wasn’t married before like I was. Personality-wise, he was the complete OPPOSITE of Number One. That was one of the main reasons I was attracted to him. I realize now that when the Holy Spirit told me to “WAIT”, oh my soul—I should have LISTENED!! There were many issues with Husband Number Two that slowly but surely came out over the next several years. We didn’t have any children, and now I am grateful for that. But out of those thirteen years with him, the latter SIX were some of the loneliest times I had out of married life.
More and more it proved to be I made yet another wrong life choice. Four years before the marriage finally ended, he left me, and for the next three months of my life, it was horrific. As bad as our marriage was at that point, I didn’t want it to end. All the arguments and fights, all the nights one of us would be sleeping on the couch (most of the time it was me—he wasn’t giving up the bed), I couldn’t stand the fact that I just may be ALL ALONE AGAIN. That thought haunted me every single day.
We finally got back together after those three months, but the next four years was more of the same—living as roommates, hardly any intimate time, and even though we moved a couple of times hoping the new scenery and areas would help our marriage, the fact of the matter was, WE weren’t meant to be together either.
Once again, God proved Himself right—if He wasn’t the One ordaining the marriage to begin with, it wasn’t going to last. Once again, I failed. Once again, I found myself alone, at least for a short time, and then I fell into my bad habit again of having someone else to fill the “loneliness” gap for another two years, until finally, the Lord put the “brakes” on back in 2016. Through natural and supernatural means (He is the Revealer of secrets—see Daniel 2:27-28, 47)—when He’s ready to tell us those secrets, He “lifts the veil”, and puts the pieces of the puzzle together—at least enough of it for the time, so we can understand what He’s trying to tell us. For me, I was reminded about WHY the Spirit tried to me make me WAIT on Him back in 2000, and NOT be with anyone else. I needed that time for GROWTH in Him, and in myself. I never gave myself a break since I was 20 years old; I always either dated, or was involved in a long term relationship.
But what the Lord wanted me to do almost three years ago, was to me, very frightening. Being ALONE, by myself, having NO man to go out to dinner with, to be intimate with (but intimacy doesn’t just mean jumping into bed with each other, folks!)—after all, I AM a human; I do desire LOVE, and romance. I am a VERY passionate person, and to be without someone all this time has been sometimes excruciating!! But after what the Lord explained to me just WHO that person was—the “clues” He gave to me years ago, that I just ignored, and never gave another thought to—the Lord was TRYING TO HELP me not suffer any more with having the wrong guy in my life, and I basically blew Him off!
“What the HECK was I thinking?!”, I said to Him after He not only finally divulged the “mystery” of what He told me back in 2000, but He said that no matter what, I needed TIME to heal, and to start living the LIFE He had intended me to live. He didn’t just give me the gifts of music and writing to push aside and never use again; He wanted me not just to survive in this world, but to THRIVE, and FLOURISH. But—the “deal” was, it had to be on HIS terms (that means, according to HIS Word), and in HIS timing of it all.
One of the “terms” was, just what I am doing now—telling others of the very costly LIFE mistakes I made, and hoping that by telling others, especially the younger generation, they will HEED my warnings, and not repeat what I’ve done!
Hence the other part of the “terms” He set forth—to write them down not only in my Journal, and a Blog, but a BOOK. Actually, a series of books, so others can learn from my mistakes, and make better decisions based on the Bible, and having a PERSONAL relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
As far as the music portion goes, He led me to a church where I am currently on the Worship Team, and the Worship Leader and I are also in another band that sings and plays classic rock and roll, just for fun. That’s a “God Wink” story for another time.
Being married was always HIS plan for my life—choosing who I wanted, ended up being MY plan, not His. I have “reaped” what I’ve sown all those years ago. The loneliness I’ve felt came in waves these past few years on this “Season of Waiting” Journey; sometimes I feel like I’m going to crash and drown. But then the Lord “shows up”, and as if I can feel His arms around me, He lets me know that I am NOT ALONE; that I AM loved; that I AM worthy of “that man”’s love—when it’s TIME for it; that I have so many things to learn yet, and to also share with others, while I’m still a “solitary”. Until that time comes for God to let “him” into my life, I have to learn to appreciate this time, try and enjoy the Journey, and realize that even though I am by myself right now (and for the LONGEST period of my life, I may add!), I am NEVER alone, for He is always here with me.
Walking in the Dark with Faith 