I will continue where I left off this past week, and describe to you the different “seasons” of my life. I kept it as simple as I could, and highlighted some areas that we’ve all have mostly gone through at one time or another.

BUT first, I will say this right now, and it stands for anything else I’ve already written and will write in the future–I am NOT here to ever put down, insult, or belittle anyone that I’ve been involved with in past relationships, friendships, workplaces, churches, etc.–wherever I’ve met people, how long or short they were in my life, etc. These people were at one point or another part of my life. We’ve moved on with our lives, and that’s ok. But I have to make mention of them in the most simple way, not divulging any specifics, for obvious reasons. I’m just using part of my LIFE story to describe certain times, areas in my life, and circumstances that’s happened to me, to get my point across to the reader. Some of these people I still have in my life to this day; most I do not. But I’ve also learned to LIVE , LET GO and FORGIVE, because honestly, in the end, that’s the best course of action we can take, in order TO move forward in our lives.

Ok, enough of that–here is the second part of my blog:

Let’s count together the amount of “seasons” I’ve had, shall we? My FIRST🌱was my childhood—it was really awesome, by the way; I had good parents, and was given a good home to live in, and great family to be around. Being adopted into a decent family was like hitting the lottery; the Lord saw to it for one reason or another, to put me with certain family members that eventually would be close to me until this very day. My SECOND🌿was going from a teenager to an adult; that was rough, since my mom just didn’t want to lose the “little girl” she was raising—typical parental issues🙄of not wanting to “let go”. This is also the time I was dating on and off, and had my first two real long-term relationships as well. I actually was encouraged by my mother, to “play the field”—just go out and date, and not get serious with anyone. That obviously for the most part, was ignored. 🙄😑 My THIRD🌵season, was my relationship with my first husband. All those years (and also those beyond that, since we did have a child together) seemed to follow me into every facet of my life, because I became a mother to my daughter Ashley during that relationship. My FOURTH🍃season, was in between my first and second husbands, which lasted about two years. I struggled so much to listen to the Lord, who back THEN was trying to get me on that RIGHT PATH, and to WAIT on Him for the right man; I just wouldn’t do it still, even after all the hell I put myself through with my first husband; I still was too stubborn, lazy and prideful to give everything I needed to, over to the Lord to bring it back to where HE intended it to be in my life. In that short amount of time to supposedly be AWAY from men and concentrating on the Lord, I ended up being involved in one way or another, three men during that time.😞😒🙁 It just made my life filled with more emotional turmoil and regrets.

So, those unnecessary “seasons” kept coming— the FIFTH🌲one with my second husband, which lasted for technically 13 years, although we lost a few months in there from the break-up. 🌾The SIXTH one was when I came back to NJ, after letting my second husband know I was getting a divorce from him. Unfortunately, this “season” of getting myself in order mentally and emotionally did NOT last long at all, for I found myself emotionally engaged in yet another “season”😳😫🍂 (SEVENTH)which should NEVER have happened, not only because technically I was still married, but it was like going from the frying pan back into the fire!!🤮 Sometimes, I really DIDN’T think before I acted, and didn’t consider the other hearts involved. Thankfully, that “season” lasted but several weeks.😣😞

STILL I managed to get involved ONCE AGAIN, in another relationship—bringing on the EIGHTH 🍁 “season” which also still happened for most of the relationship while I was still not fully divorced, but also this one the Lord ALLOWED to be the 📚“bookend” 📚to my “third” season’s relationship. This one lasted just a hair under TWO YEARS, and many major heartaches occurred that never should have been dealt with; but I managed to not only be with this person, but allowed myself to live with him as well, and soon became involved in taking care of someone who was an raging alcoholic, cutter and who had a major bout of depression, along with other issues and fears that kept him in a spiritual “prison” most of his adult life. He at least had the sense to go back to church, and I wholeheartedly supported that, but sooner or later it had to come to an end for us; he took his things and left, and I’ve no idea what has happened to him since. THAT right there😕, was the INTERVENTION of the Lord, allowing him to leave, for it was my prayer for over a year after we got together, and seeing all the horror this brought upon himself through alcohol and myself, dealing with much demonic infestation through the intimacy that occurred. 😫

😭Once AGAIN, after he left, I had to ask for forgiveness (which I started doing right
after a few months being with him) from the Lord, and since that time, to this writing, I’ve learned to be CELIBATE—yes, four years now and counting. Even though there was technically a NINTH “season”🌴, which was termed a “long-distance” relationship, it was only for about six months, and between meeting only two times within that time frame, and a handful of calls (mostly all texting) to each other from time to time, all that so-called relationship did, was ready me for what was to be the SEASON that introduced “that man” (that God had Predestined and Ordained for me)to me. I had NO clue what was about to happen! I wasn’t even caring at all about meeting someone else; I was emotionally drained, and crying out to God for help. What God had planned for me, came out of seemingly nowhere, for I never would have expected meeting “that man” in the way, time, or place that I did!

Season TEN ushered him in, meeting him at work, getting to know him as a friend, through many discussions and lunches together, talking about all that we’ve every really wanted in life and love, and as soon as the connection was made between us; as soon as the chemistry was felt and recognized to finally be REAL and TRUE, it was over. The Lord did exactly what HE intended to do—have us MEET, get to know one another, keep it at the “friendly” level, and had it end before we both could end up ruining things for OUR FUTURE together! That “season” lasted about 7 months, and it was over and GONE…for NOW.

The Lord had OTHER plans for me, a special “Season of Waiting” as I’ve come to call it, that I’ve never allowed myself to have with Him—JUST Him and I, walking together through this life as an adult, and having to learn and re-learn some things that I missed along the way, through my stubbornness, blindness, pride, laziness, emotional turmoils, and all those demonic strongholds that kept me from having the FREEDOM to “just be ME” for a time. The Lord granted me the ELEVENTH “season”, of which I am STILL in right now, and has lasted for almost THREE YEARS now; technically, the third year comes as of December, 2019. I needed this “season” so bad, to cleanse me of all those impurities in my life I allowed to come in; to WASH away so many lost years; to PURIFY my heart, and make me start to serve the Lord WHOLEHEARTEDLY, once He took me “off the shelf” and placed be BACK on the RIGHT PATH He intended for me to be this whole time. I had to be DELIVERED of all the demonic strongholds that I allowed in me (and YES, as a Christian you CAN have demonic strongholds! Don’t fool yourself into thinking you cannot!), and as far as my FINANCES went, I finally had control of them as well, for the Lord allowed me to take a class at my church to learn exactly what to do with my money, once I was earning enough to make a budget, tithe, pay my bills, and save for my FUTURE life with “that man”. 🥰;❤✝

Spiritually, I feel like I’m 1000% better than I was back in December of 2016. The “load” that is off my mind and heart, is worth my weight in gold! The FREEDOM of being ME is beyond anything I could ever have imagined, and being able to LIVE and MOVE and HAVE MY BEING(Acts 17:28), using the gifts, talents, skills and abilities for the Lord and His Glory and Purpose in my life, is what it’s all been about! I finally “got” it—it wasn’t about ME; it wasn’t about my love life, or how to make enough money to survive, or just to get married, have a few kids, go to work every day, visit the family, go on vacations, grow old, see our kids grow up, have grandchildren come into our lives, and then eventually, go HOME and meet our Maker. No; it’s MUCH MORE than that; we are God’s WORKMANSHIP, created in Christ Jesus to do GOOD WORKS, which God PREPARED in ADVANCE for us TO do.”(Ephesians 2:10) He HAD a Purpose and Plan for us WAY before the worlds were even formed!! Jeremiah 29:11 SAYS that we have a FUTURE and a HOPE in HIM!

We weren’t just created to be stuck on this planet, left alone to fend for ourselves, make the most of it that we can on our own, and then one day, die and it’s all over. No—it was meant to be MUCH MORE than that, and I found out in THIS VERY SEASON that I’ve been living , MY PURPOSE for why God made me in the FIRST place—because HE LOVED ME!!! He loves ALL of His Creation, but He also knows most of His Creation will never even recognize or acknowledge Him for WHO He is, and WHAT He can do for them, IF they HUMBLED themselves and give their lives over to Him WHOLEHEARTEDLY, as I finally did! My LIFE is NOT the same as it was—it is SO much better, and so much more fulfilling!!! I am still WAITING on the Lord for “that man”, but oh the progress in THAT area just in the last year—amazing!! The Lord God WILL share with each of you His “secrets” (Deut. 29:29), ONLY IF you let Him INTO your LIFE!! It’s got to be a 100% INVOLVEMENT between you and Him, or else it’s NOT going to work!!

This “season” I’m currently in, has been the BEST one YET, and I DO mean, “YET”!!☺😄🥰 I KNOW without a doubt, that the NEXT “season” of my life, which technically will be my TWELFTH season (🧐🤨🤔Hmmm…12, huh?? that number is pretty significant in the Bible…🤨🙂 😏lol…), will USHER in “that man” once and for ALL, finally, never to be MOVED, removed, taken, stolen, etc. from me! He has been specifically made and designed by the Lord for ME, and I for HIM. Allow God to bring YOU into the “Season” you need to be in, in order to get right with Him, and start LIVING the LIFE He’s called you to live!

Be blessed–

Seasons change; they have a beginning and an “ending” to them. I put quotes around the word “ending”, because in a way, it never really ends. It’s a continuing cycle in this LIFE; I’ve had many “seasons” before, but rarely did I pay attention to them or what was going on around me. My head was in a “spiritual” and emotional fog–spiritual because I wasn’t being as astute as I should have been, having learned much about the spiritual realm and the Spiritual Warfare that is constantly going on in this world.

I wanted to go through LIFE not having to care so much about the spiritual, especially after having learned what I did; it was partly too scary, and also seemed like too much work and responsibility to take on at such a young age as I was back then. I was 19 when the Lord first called me to that appointment; I was again in my late thirties and married a second time when I started to pay more serious attention to it. The Lord allowed me to see many things, both good and evil, in order for me to realize just how much we ALL are in a war, fighting for our very souls each and every day. Yet, I just didn’t get up early enough to pray, nor did I fervently pray throughout the day as I have now been doing for the past three years. Oh, I prayed and I certainly took the time out to teach my daughter to pray, and also prayed with her when she was a child. But I became very much involved in my own marital issues, and didn’t pay enough attention to what was going on with my own daughter as she went into her teens, our relationship, and little by little I allowed the enemy to wedge in enough space to weaken me to the point of just not caring about what was going on spiritually, and not having the energy to care anymore.

My marriage was crumbling; my second husband left me during the first quarter of 2009–he told me point blank that he no longer loved me. I saw it coming, but I didn’t think he had it in him to leave. Financially, it was impossible; we were always hurting for money, because even though by that marriage, I was getting better how to handle the finances, my husband wasn’t on board with me, and so no money was being saved or tithed correctly. Sooner or later, between all that happening, my daughter was getting ready to graduate from high school (she was engaged to a nice young man who knew he was to be a pastor), and her breaking up with her fiancé a year after her graduation to be with someone who was a far cry from the type of man I prayed for her to be with, AND walking away from the FAITH that she knew since she was an infant, our family was finally in ruins.

My then-husband and I got back together a few months after the break-up, only because I begged him to come back; the next four years in that VERY long season of my LIFE, were hell. Even though we moved back to NJ for a time, in order to be closer to our families, thinking that would help us get closer to each other again, it didn’t help. Within a year and a half, we were moving out of NJ again, not realizing until after we moved back in April 2010, just how expensive everything got, and there was no way we were going to afford to buy anything there. So, once again, we packed up and moved ourselves over to Pennsylvania in October 2011, and after a little over a year and a half passed, the marriage took a nose dive, and I finally walked away in June 2013, giving my second husband the divorce he had wanted since technically the third year of our marriage, when he first mentioned it to me.

THAT was a LONG “season”–thirteen years worth of my life, that went down the tubes. None of this would have happened, if I JUST listened to the Lord God back nearing the end of 1999, when He kept telling me to WAIT. He had chosen a man for me long ago, before the worlds were even formed, but I did not heed His Voice, and the result of my disobedience was thirteen years of heartache, sorrow, financial difficulties, a broken marriage, and most importantly, my very bruised relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. As much as I loved being married, I wasn’t with the man God intended for me to be with! So the Lord had no “choice” but to allow the natural things like the breakdown of the marriage to happen, and eventually, the divorce, because if it isn’t sovereignly predestined and ordained by the Lord, then it’s NOT going to flourish; it WILL end up “dying” out (see Matthew 15:13).

I can guarantee that if we all just STOPPED for a minute and took a good look at where we are in our lives right now, MOST of us are in “seasons” we should NEVER have been in. Again, there is the natural “circle of LIFE” that plays out, and the seasons that go with it–we are born, we grow up, we become adults, we go to work (most of us), we earn a living (whether it’s the right or wrong way these days), we get older, our body starts to break down, we get sick and/or disabled in one thing or another, and sooner or later, we die. Most people during that cycle, get married; many have children, or adopt or take in foster children into their lives. That could add many blessings or more tension, depending on each life situation, and mainly, whether or not those marriages or unions between those partners should have happened in the first place.

I’m going to stop right here, and allow all this to “sink in”, and I’ll be back with the second part of this, counting through the amount of “seasons” I had since I’ve was born, up until the present day. This was a long one, but chock full of real life issues that we’ve all at one time or another, went through similarly.

I hope you all will stick with me on this one–it may just open some spiritual eyes out there, and hopefully, some hearts to allow God to start working on those that know they need to finally hand it all over to Him, so He can stop the craziness of all those wrong “seasons” happening in their lives. Then He can change and transform them into the person He had purposed for them to be, since the Beginning of TIME.

Be blessed–

I mean, I AM a flesh and blood female; I’m not a robot either, and I like how more and more we have to “prove” ourselves on some sites so they know we’re real live human beings! But I’m starting to think that I’m invisible, or someone that some people (mainly guys!) think I was a “figment” of their imagination…🙄😒😔

My friend Terry is right; I am a 🦄Unicorn. I’m something that seemingly doesn’t exist to a guy. I mean, c’mon—can there 🙄REALLY be women out there that ARE good, and love God, and would be loving, romantic, AND respectful to their man??🤔🤨 (YES, I’m right here🥺!!!) Oh, and of course she has to be pretty, neat, somewhat organized; she should have a good job, or at least working towards one, or pursuing whatever goal or dream she has. She hopefully is a hard worker, honest, speaking the truth but with love, not hitting the man over the head and nagging him all the time😒; also thoughtful, kind, considerate. And forgiving—she’s GOT to be forgiving, because men even into their 40’s and 50’s still act like 12 year old boys at times🤪 (I’m not saying I never get like that🙄—I could SWEAR I heard a Voice in my spirit say to me one day when I was complaining about this and that—“52 going on 12”😳!). Did I mention she should have a good sense of humor?? 😆😉😏 She’ll tell you like it is, but knows when to be still and quiet as well. Check, check, and check.😉✅ Oh, and for the love of everything good, she CAN’T try to change the man😫😩!! That’s HUGE!! He KNOWS he needs to change—it’s on his mind constantly, but unless he HAS a good enough reason to, sometimes he just “gives up” and no longer cares.

She’s got to be the type of woman that leaves such an impression on him, that he DOES care enough to move forward in his life, make those changes, and MOVE ON, and GET that woman! If he has her already, then make her realize she’s WORTH it to him TO do whatever it takes to keep her (and yes, she should let HIM know as well, that he means that much to her!).

That type of woman is a RARE thing—a “RUBY” in the Lord’s eyes; precious in His sight, so of course, for the man that ends up with her, he’s going to finally feel like he won the lottery ten times over, but money could NEVER replace the LOVE she’ll have for him🥰—that in ITSELF, is worth the effort in pursuing such a woman. And ladies, that type of man is also WORTH WAITING FOR, hence me doing just that for the last two plus years! For a man to finally feel LOVED and RESPECTED, is all that he needs. He’ll lasso the moon🌕 for her just to let her know how much she means to him.❤️ With the love that blooms and grows between them, all those “changes” that needed to take place in BOTH of their lives (yes, ladies, we have things WE need to change about ourselves as well😉), little by little, it happens. They get closer to one another; are so comfortable in each other’s presence, and the trust that grows between them, it just “happens”—they start to “blend” and become ONE with another. He doesn’t want to do or say certain things that he knew wasn’t right in the first place; she realizes that there’s no need to nag, or “push buttons”—enough “buttons” have been pushed by others in their past lives. They want this to happen; they want this to work, and somehow, they always “knew” it would. LOVE continues to grow after a while, and before they know it, they realize that they were always “meant to be”. Their love🥰for one another means more to them than anything else—except God Himself. They realize that if it wasn’t for HIM, they wouldn’t have even met. He set this up for them. He knew how and when it would work out best for them. They may have messed up a few times prior, but that doesn’t even matter anymore. What matters now, is they finally got it RIGHT.❤️

That’s what THIS 🦄Unicorn wants to have happen to HER. That’s why I’m waiting on God to bring me “him”. He’s out there; I know he is. God has assured me, via several “God Wink” confirmations 💜🌈 that I am NOT waiting for nothing. BUT, it HAS to be in HIS timing, and in the way HE’S going to bring it about. No more rushing ahead or falling behind for me; let the Lord take care of it. I’ve done enough damage in my own life, and even though it wasn’t intentional, in the lives of others. I don’t mind WAITING, even though this is one of the HARDEST things I could have ever done in my life; not so much the WAITING or TRUSTING God part, but the LONLINESS😣😞💔part. THAT’S the “killer”; I’ve never been a solitary this long in my life, since I was 18. But, it had to be THIS way this time, in order for God to do what HE needs to do in ME, and in “him”. When He decides we’re both “ready enough”, it’ll be TIME. No more waiting after that; at least not for each other. A whole new experience, a whole new FAITH walk, a whole new LIFE and LOVE that we both wanted (and needed!🥰) so much.

So yea, this Unicorn🦄 girl will continue to wait for “him”. He’s definitely worth the wait, because he IS the “one” that God wanted me to have in the FIRST place, before I “got in the way” and made my own life choices. Oh, don’t get me wrong—blessings did come out of some of those relationships as well—I gained a daughter, and now a future son-in-law, a grandson, a friend instead of an enemy (that is, my ex-husband, the father of my daughter☺️), and also, a step-daughter and her family, and a step-son as well. I still consider them all “family” as they do me.🥰. Forgiveness reaps many benefits in this life, and I did “gain” things, even though some of those things weren’t part of God’s ultimate Plan for my life. But He knew I wanted to be a mother, and He answered that prayer, despite the circumstances and life choices at the time. What I gained out of it, is priceless.❤️💎 If God can allow such amazing things to happen in His PERMISSIBLE Will, imagine what He will do for me NOW, that I am finally “IN” His Perfect Will! The verse from Ephesians 3:20 pops into my mind right now—“Now to HIM Who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think according to the POWER that works IN us…” THAT is why I am willing to WAIT; not only because “that man” is the one I’ve wanted for so long, but because my Father CHOSE him and designed him especially for ME, and I for him. No one could ever fill God’s “shoes” in my life, nor the MAN He Pre-Destined and Ordained for me.🥰🙏🏼❤️✝️

First off, I want to apologize for not being on here for the past several days! I’m so sorry; Life got busy, and I actually “allowed” myself to go out a couple of times this weekend, to catch a breath and meet up with some family and musician friends. I didn’t want anyone to start thinking I was one of those bloggers that start a blog, and two or three entries later, give it up. No way—not when my “Season of Waiting” Journey is still in full swing! Nor was it because nothing has come my way as far as Divine intervention in my devotionals, or real life events. On the contrary; not only have I had my huge share of “God Winks” (oh my soul, He hooks me up with so many sometimes, I can’t remember to write them all down!), but as far as Divine intervention and what I like to call my “George Muëller” moments, I had a few of those too!

Last Tuesday (Mar. 19), I calmly spoke to the Lord about the worsening money situation; I did my taxes, and was waiting for them to come in, but honestly didn’t expect them until about a couple more weeks at least, from what I was told. My church said they were willing to help me out a bit, but had yet to do so. I knew it was already past the time for some of my bills, and I needed my car to get back and forth to school; gas and toll money was running down, and I was starting to run out of basic food items. I wasn’t going to go “hungry”, but certain daily things I started to run out of, so that was “on the list” of needs for the Lord to provide as well.

Just a little over two months ago, I was in this very scenario; my seasonal job ended up being just that—seasonal, when we were told that wasn’t going to happen, and we would be keeping our jobs at the end of the Christmas Season. So I had absolutely no money saved, because I didn’t even make enough TO save any money, much less pay most of my bills. My situation started to turn dire very quickly; that was before I got a temp job at the church/school to fill in as the custodian. I just happen to mention that I needed prayers for my particular situation online, and within 72 hours, the Lord had whispered into people’s ears, and moved them to help me out enough to pay much needed late bills, and also help me with food. For six weeks, things were starting to look a little better, but then as soon as that job started, it too, had ended quicker than I previously hoped it would. But I was happy for the individual who I was filling in for, for their life situatation did improve for them to come back to work. ☺️

So this was a “repeat” of what happened, and like I said, by last Tuesday, I was walking down that road of FAITH, looking for “open doors” to swing wide open, to get me out of the bind once again. Mind you, my school schedule for this semester doesn’t allow me the “freedom” to choose from an array of jobs; I’ve had to look for jobs with flexible hours, and because of my late nights at school four days out of the week, that makes matters worse for me. Thankfully, by Wednesday night, after getting a “nudge” to check my bank account (mind you I was getting ready for band practice, but that “still small voice” went off in my head, so I knew to respond very quickly to it!), I realized that my tax return showed up way before I expected it to, and that just got me out of a very serious jam! Praise God! Then, knowing my living situation was going to change within the next month or so, one of the ladies at church decided to open up her house to me, and I will be staying there for a while, for however long the Lord determines that has to be. I sure hope He opens a door for a job soon, though.😕That would be awesome! So knowing my future living arrangements are pretty much secured, and that prayer answered, the next thing the Lord took care of this Sunday, was some anonymous individual at church, happened to leave me $100 in my mail slot at the church! Even though my tax return was almost gone in a few days, but went to paying all the past due bills and such, I now was also able to purchase food and have enough money for gas and tolls for the next couple of weeks! Then, as if that wasn’t a blessing enough (and I’m not even mentioning all the “God Winks” I got in my devotionals that mentioned such things as Hebrews 11:6, AND the ones that my blog title is about—fixing my eyes on what is UNSEEN, rather than what is seen, and many more FAITH verses!), my friend comes to visit me just this past week, and blesses me with $30, because they won some money on a “scratch off” no less( I’m not condoning such practices, but it was kind of them to give me a part of what they won!)!! They know my ongoing situation, and wanted to help me out a bit, even though they themselves are also going through some tough times lately. So, within ONE WEEK, I’ve been given $130, and had my refund of over $1300 help me pay many things, to get me mostly up-to-date. Now granted, having a job would put me in a much better postion; the Lord Himself knows that. BUT, I can tell that HIS way of doing things has “stayed” off the job long enough to allow my FAITH walk to grow, and for other’s FAITH walks to also have a chance to grow as well in their lives. It would be much easier to just allow me to have a job; but then, none of us would have been S T R E T C H E D in our FAITH by the Lord—those that were willing a little over two months ago, to give me what totaled $1200, and bought me food back then; and now, learning even more to be PATIENT, the Lord has me blessed with others to help me as well, and in turn, they’ll get blessed by Him for being so faithful, and helping a sister in the Lord out in her ongoing time of need.

God’s FAITHFULNESS has been astounding in all of this; I cannot ever thank Him enough for what He’s been doing, especially since losing my full time job back in December, 2016 and putting me on this FAITH WALK Journey “in the DARK” with Him. I haven’t been just sitting around though; it’s been an ACTIVE “waiting period”, that’s for sure! I’m going to college full time; I’m singing and playing in my Worship band at church; going to leadership classes there now once a month; in another band as well, AND going to piano lessons at school, using the gifts, talents, skills and abilities the Lord has given me to put to use. I’m also “waiting” for “that man”—let’s not forget that🙄❤️, whenever the Lord finally brings “him” around. Until things change for the “better” more “permanently”, I will be on this FAITH walk for quite some time, and the longer I am on it, and as hard as it may get sometimes, I KNOW without a doubt, that the Lord has my back, and will take care of me with every STEP of FAITH I take, day by day. May you be blessed to have read this, and encouraged by it as well, that He can and will do the same for YOU, as you step out in FAITH each day, and let Him lead you by the hand. ❤️✝️

Since this is only my second entry, and you really have no clue as to who I am and what I’m about, I will “fill you in” bit by bit of what’s been going on with me in the last two years; that way you’ll get a good idea of where I’m going with this. Since LIFE wanted to hit me between the eyes with some congestive chest cold-cough/dizziness these past few days, and all I wanted to do was sleep, on my school BREAK no less, I’ve fallen “behind” in what I planned to do with these precious few days off, and that’s why I haven’t written again until today.

This what I normally do–I wake up on most days, around 4:30 am; this week, being sick, there was NO CHANCE of that happening! I make my breakfast, get my coffee, sit down at the computer, and start to do my devotionals, and then comment on any number of them (I usually have about six or so I read when I have the time to get to them all)–the ones that “stand out” as far as what my FAITH walk is about. I’ll be commenting on them as well, since they are part of this whole “Journey”, and God has continually used them for instruction, correction, encouragement and growth. I’ll go ahead and just use one of them that stood out to me today, to give you a little “taste” of what I do with them, and how I let them apply to my life, and what I wrote in my journal about it:

“The BLB (Blue Letter Bible daily devotional) “hits the spot” today, with 2 Corinthians 4:16-18. That speaks of how even though our outward man perishes, our inner man is renewed day by day. We also have learned to not look at the things we can SEE, but those things which are NOT seen, for what IS seen is temporary, but the things NOT seen, are ETERNAL. So the daily life circumstances that get to us–namely my situation of once again, NOT having a job, still going to school full time, and having to depend on God for pretty much EVERYTHING, is been the most challenging thing I’ve ever experienced! BUT, He hasn’t let me down once! I’ve been taken cared of every single day; I’ve not gone without a meal, AND despite some “last minute” scenarios, so far my NEEDS (car being paid, car ins., gas, tolls, food, phone bill, etc.) are being met. I cannot say it’s been a really pleasant experience, because honestly, I’d rather not live this way, but it IS the way of FAITH, and it is what God has been doing in my life these past two plus years. It’s only got more intense since June of last year, when I noticed again that the jobs I should have been easily getting interviews for, didn’t happen. You could have heard crickets in the background! I knew God was up to something, and before I knew it, it wasn’t any longer a full-time job He was preparing me for; I was to apply for college FULL-TIME this past September, and by answered prayers, confirming over and over again that is exactly what He wanted me to do (financial aid came through via loans and grants for me to go!), here I am, back at school, a World Language major, picking up where I left off when I got my Associate’s degree. What the Lord is going to have me do with it, I’ve no idea. That’s for Him to know, and for me to find out…

Yea–it’s like that. Ask anyone in the military what their orders are, and they’ll tell you that they receive the immediate orders to do whatever it is they are carried out to do, and then they must WAIT upon further orders. That’s it; no one moves forward, until the next orders are given. THAT is how God works.”

It’s a TOTAL surrender of your life, every day, in every situation. Right now, I have no job again. I was filling in for someone at the church/school, since the seasonal retail job didn’t keep us around like they said they would back in December. So from late January, to about a week ago, I finally was getting a paycheck again. And now that’s over. When I went to the Lord in prayer about it a few days ago, He said, “YOU CAN’T WRITE A BOOK ABOUT WALKING IN THE DARK WITH FAITH, UNLESS YOU’RE LITERALLY DOING THAT (every day).” Makes sense, right? If you never heard about George Mueller, you should look him up. He lived a life of faith that is astounding. How that man depended on God for DAILY items–milk, bread, money, etc., and God delivered every time!! After I read a couple of his books, and also a diary of his, I was amazed at just how much of a similar pattern was happening in my life. That’s another reason why God “just so happened” to have me read those books of his; He was preparing me for a similar venture in my life–to trust God like never before, each and every day, every STEP of the way. Oh, by the way, the day the Holy Spirit spoke that word to my heart, the Days Of Praise devotional “just so happened” to have Phil. 4:19 as their verse for the day–“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Enough said. My Commander in Chief has spoken.He’s got my back; all I have to do is continue to TRUST Him, and take Him at His Word, even if I don’t “see” it all in front of me, or know what’s around the corner. He does. That’s good enough for me.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton